Parental expectations, peer comparison, and academic pressure can overwhelm you only when you allow others’ desires to dictate your life. As an adult, you are responsible for discovering your own potential and making choices through your own understanding. Love is not about fulfilling each other’s expectations or keeping someone happy. True love requires freedom—giving others the space to live and grow, while living according to your own inner clarity.
Acharya Prashant: If you look at knowledge that man has gathered in various fields, you will easily see that all of man’s knowledge is related to man’s desire. Man does not try to gain knowledge in fields that have absolutely no connection with man’s fundamental desires.
Acharya Prashant: If you will observe, you will find that people who are living most contented lives do not find it necessary to intrude in the lives of their kids, their sons and daughters. Because they are complete and satisfied in themselves. If they have to do something, or get
As long as you are trying to locate love outside of you in the world, as long as you are trying to find a lovely object somewhere out there, it would remain a reason for disappointment. Love is not something that you discover in another person, thought, idea or object. Love is something that you carry with yourself, wherever you go.
The problem is, the usual feminism always proceeds keeping the man at the center. The woman is saying, “The man is alright, and I want to be like the man.” This is such a low standard to set. Whereas, true feminism would proceed keeping the person that the female is,…
You defeat someone not because he is weak; you defeat someone when he wants to protect his weaknesses. Understand the difference. It is not your weaknesses that defeat you; it is your fondness towards your weaknesses, your protective attitude towards your weaknesses that defeats you.
Do not be with someone who makes you dependent, even in the name of care or love. Do not watch a film series, or a web series, or a TV serial that kind of makes you addicted. The ‘I’ wants to get attached. And if the object that the ‘I’
A fellow might be doing the worst possible thing to you in the name of love or concern or friendship, and he will keep saying, “But you know, this is my care towards you.” This is not care. You must apply intelligence. Is this love? Is this care? When you
Questioner (Q): The Bhagavad Gita says, don’t focus on the outcome of your work. But a book called The Secret says, visualize a positive outcome of your work. Which of these is true?
Why do you want commitment? Because not only do you want to have sex, you want an uninterrupted and guaranteed supply of sex; that is what you call as commitment.
Nobody is obliged to live as per your fancies. Are you able to fulfill your own expectations? And if even you cannot meet your self-image, how is the poor wife or husband going to live up to what you expect from him or her? If you think that it is…
Only in aloneness can you have relationships that are not exploitative. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter what name, what color you give to your relationship; your relationship will be definitely one of exploitation.
If you start thinking that a man or a woman will bring contentment to you, will bring godliness to your home, then you are going to be severely disappointed.
You do not really care about the expectations that, let’s say, the entire humanity has from you. It is bitterly cold and a dog is outside your doorsteps; you do not wonder about the expectations that that dog might be having. It is only the expectations of a particular four…
Questioner (Q): Acharya Ji, the main two enemies on the path of love that always stop one from moving forward are attachment and expectation, and they both lead to suffering and it takes a lot of guts and effort to stand up and walk again on the path of love.
You did not do what you should have done for yourself; therefore you now expect somebody else to do good things for you.
The responsibility to bring goodness to your life rests primarily upon you, not upon somebody else. To bring somebody to life and then expect that somebody to…
She won’t directly say, “Get me a sari.” Often when they need a sari, they do not say they need a sari; they say, “Janu (beloved), you do not love me!” And janu understands: she needs a sari
Even when everything seems to be going right in a relationship, keep checking: Have I become dependent? Have I become exploitative? Have I started holding expectations? Has the other started holding expectations? Is the other blocking my view of the larger universe? Has the other become too central to my
Our love is always a product of conditions and proceeds only as long as conditions remain favorable. It hurts to hear this, because we want to claim and we have professed in front of our loved ones many a times that “I will keep loving you till eternity” and, you
Acharya Prashant (AP): Nothing comes on its own to cling to anybody. We go to things. We go to things, thoughts, places, people, and then clutch them – that's attachment. So, why do we want to cling to various objects?
Lovers often like it when the partner acts silly. “It is so sweet, chomu is so silly!” But have you ever seen the partner going crazy saying, “My chomu is so enlightened”? An enlightened chomu
Questioner: When I send Advait’s broadcasts to the world, the world sends me back some stupid videos and posters, and that irritates me a lot. Though I delete them, yet I remain disturbed. What is this disturbance?
Acharya Prashant: This disturbance is your hope that your relationships are all not
प्रश्नकर्ता: प्रणाम आचार्य जी। बचपन से यही शिक्षा दी जाती है कि पढ़ाई कर लो, अच्छे नंबर लाओगे तो अच्छे बच्चे कहलाओगे या फिर आगे चलकर अच्छी नौकरी मिलेगी तो समाज में प्रतिष्ठा मिलेगी। तो इन सब में जो एक निष्कामता की जो चीज़ है, वो कहीं-न-कहीं कम ही रहती
प्रश्नकर्ता: प्रणाम आचार्य जी, पाँच साल का रिश्ता था, शादी होने वाली थी। कुछ वजहों से कि उसका रुझान अध्यात्म में नहीं है, झूठ बोलती है चीज़ों को लेकर ताकि हमारा रिश्ता बना रहे; इन चीज़ों ने बहुत ज़्यादा मुझे ठेस पहुँचाई। अब मैं उस बिन्दु पर खड़ा हूँ कि
आचार्य प्रशांत: पति पत्नी से परेशान रहता है मेरी उम्मीदें नहीं पूरी करती। पत्नी भी तो बराबर ही परेशान रहती है ना पति से, ये मेरी उम्मीदें नहीं पूरी करता। पति कहेगा मैं इसकी उम्मीदें क्यों पूरी करूँ, इसकी उम्मीदें ही नाजायज़ हैं। पत्नी कहती है मैं इसकी उम्मीदें क्यों
प्रश्नकर्ता: मेरा नाम पंखुड़ी शुक्ला है। आचार्य जी, आप प्यार से भी तो समझा सकते हैं? हमेशा डाँटते क्यों रहते हैं? मुझे अच्छा नहीं लगता है जब मुझे कोई डाँटता है तो।
प्रश्नकर्ता: आचार्य जी! जब डेढ़ साल पहले किताबें पढ़नी शुरू की थी तो पढ़ने में बहुत मज़ा आता था, लगता था रोज़ कुछ नया जानने को मिल रहा है। लेकिन अब न पढ़ने का मन करता है, न ही यूट्यूब पर सुनने का। मन को लगता है कि शब्द के
प्रश्नकर्ता: आचार्य जी, मेरा मेरी पत्नी से कोई लगाव वगैरह कुछ नहीं है। बस सामाजिक दबावों से उसके साथ हूँ। तलाक से डरता हूँ। डर लगता है कि तलाक हुआ तो पता नहीं क्या-क्या देखना पड़ेगा। पत्नी से सम्मान की इच्छा रहती है, मिलता बस अपमान है, लेकिन मैं चाहता…
प्रश्नकर्ता: नमस्कार सर, अभी कुछ दिनों पहले ही दिल्ली से एक दुखद ख़बर आयी थी जिसमें एक प्रेमी ने अपनी प्रेमिका का क़त्ल कर दिया। तो जैसे मैं अपने रिश्ते के बारे में भी सोच रहा था और मैंने जो
प्रश्नकर्ता: आचार्य जी प्रणाम! अपने संबंधित व्यक्तियों से उम्मीदें रहती हैं। उम्मीदें पूरी न होने पर चुभता सा रहता है, ठगा सा महसूस करता हूँ। कृपया मार्गदर्शन करें।
People expect because they feel that something is missing from life. They expect from the world, from others, from situations, from luck, and also from themselves. The root of all these expectations is an inner feeling of lack of fulfillment. Meeting others’ expectations is a false treatment where you allow illusions to persist. If you love your dear ones, bring the Truth closer to them.
Nobody can make you a slave without your consent. You withdraw your consent, and you are free. But withdrawing that consent would mean moving out of your comfort zone. Freedom does not come free. Freedom has to be earned. "The day you decide, the day you see that I am free and I deserve a free life, you will actually be free." But first, let that realization come. Unless that realization comes, nothing can happen.
The movies tell us that unless there is a special person in your life, you are really missing out on something big and you are seized by FOMO. What is FOMO? Fear of missing out. "Oh my god! Everybody has that. I am the only one left behind. I must also have a partner, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a husband, a wife, something. Hey, go grab somebody." So you go out and grab some Johnny next door. He was busy washing his sandals, and you went up to him and threw your most seductive smile and then he too was infected by FOMO. He said, "Now that I have the opportunity, why shouldn't I capitalize?" And thus, came about the relationship. And you call it a holy bond made in heaven. Why do we do that?
Cancel culture arises when one's fundamental identity is social. If you take your identity from society, you've given them the right to cancel it. Don’t let anyone control your centre. Be your own master. Be of the world and live yet, independently of the world. Let them cancel what they can! That’s what spirituality blesses you with—your real identity, which no one can dare cancel.
Excerpts from Articles
फ़ालतू खर्च छोड़िए, अपनी ज़िंदगी पर खर्च करना सीखिए
आचार्य प्रशांत बताते हैं कि क्यों हम सही खान-पान, स्वास्थ्य और अपने ऊपर ज़रूरी खर्च से बचते हैं, लेकिन दिखावे और फ़ालतू सामाजिक परंपराओं पर पैसा बहा देते हैं। अधिकांश लोगों के लिए समस्या सिर्फ़ पैसों की कमी नहीं, बल्कि विवेक और सही प्राथमिकताओं की कमी भी है।
एक पुजारी जो रोज़ भूत-प्रेत, तंत्र-मंत्र और वशीकरण के नाम पर आए लोगों से मिलता है, आचार्य प्रशांत से पूछता है: जब वो ख़ुद जानता है कि कुछ भूत-चुड़ैल नहीं होता, तो लोग बार-बार इसी झूठ की शरण में क्यों जाते हैं? जवाब अंधविश्वास से कहीं गहरा निकलता है — यह हमारे भीतर के उस झूठ की कहानी है, जिसे हम हर कीमत पर बचाना चाहते हैं।
Struggling to choose between a secure job and the path you actually feel drawn to? This isn't really a question about careers. It's about why other people's opinions have so much power over you in the first place. Real clarity doesn't come from finding the 'right' choice. It comes from honestly looking at your own fear, again and again, until it stops running the decision for you.
रक्षाबंधन केवल भाई-बहन के रिश्ते और सुरक्षा की रस्म तक सीमित नहीं होना चाहिए। आज असली रक्षा उन चीज़ों की ज़रूरत है जो कमज़ोर और संकट में हैं—गौरैया, नदियाँ, पहाड़, पेड़, महासागर और पृथ्वी। साथ ही ईमानदारी, आत्मज्ञान और मानवीय मूल्यों की भी रक्षा जरूरी है। धर्म कर्मकांड नहीं, अपनी शक्ति और उससे जुड़ी व्यापक ज़िम्मेदारी को समझना है।
कई तरह के डर—अकेले पड़ने, छवि खोने या छोटा समझे जाने—की जड़ अक्सर अतीत में बनी पहचान और कहानियों में होती है। शरीर की हाइट जैसी चीज़ों को समस्या मानकर उनसे जूझने के बजाय उनकी अप्रासंगिकता को समझकर आगे बढ़ना चाहिए। अतीत को दबाने से मुक्ति नहीं मिलती; उसके करीब जाकर अपनी स्मृतियों, धारणाओं और पुराने पैटर्न को निष्पक्षता से देखना ज़रूरी है।
ज्योतिष कितना सच है? कुंडली, ग्रह-नक्षत्र: इनका क्या अर्थ है?
वेदांत को केवल इसलिए सही या श्रेष्ठ नहीं माना जा सकता कि वह किसी विशेष परंपरा से आता है। विज्ञान जहाँ भौतिक जगत की वस्तुनिष्ठ जाँच करता है, वहीं अद्वैत वेदांत सीधे मनुष्य के ‘मैं’, उसके दुख, बंधन और मुक्ति की पड़ताल करता है। इसकी कसौटी वैज्ञानिक प्रमाण नहीं, बल्कि अपने जीवन में इसकी सच्चाई को देख पाना है। किसी दर्शन को मान लेना नहीं, बल्कि उससे स्वयं को मुक्त करना ही उसका वास्तविक उद्देश्य है।
जो खुद आज़ाद नहीं, वह लोकतंत्र को मजबूत कैसे करेगा?
लोकतंत्र, गणतंत्र और स्वतंत्रता केवल संविधान में लिखे शब्द नहीं, बल्कि जागरूक नागरिक की चेतना पर निर्भर हैं। वास्तविक स्वतंत्रता मनमानी करने की छूट नहीं, बल्कि भीतर घुसे भय, लालच, अंधविश्वास, पूर्वाग्रह और बाहरी प्रभावों से मुक्ति है। जब नागरिक अपने ही विचारों और मान्यताओं की जाँच नहीं करता, तो लोकतंत्र भीड़तंत्र और संप्रभुता खोखली बन सकती है।
Climate change is more than an environmental crisis—it is a crisis of human choices. Our patterns of consumption, consumerism and endless pursuit of more are putting increasing pressure on the planet. But meaningful change does not necessarily begin with new technology or stricter policies. It begins with a deeper question: what are we willing to change within ourselves?
सपनों और सामाजिक प्रतिष्ठा के पीछे भागते हुए युवा अक्सर अपनी वास्तविक क्षमता, रुचि और वर्तमान चुनौतियों को देखना भूल जाते हैं। आईआईटी, यूपीएससी, सरकारी नौकरी और पेंशन को जीवन का लक्ष्य मान लेने के बजाय ज़रूरी है आत्मज्ञान—ख़ुद को ईमानदारी से परखना। जवानी भविष्य की सुरक्षा की चिंता में नहीं, आज की वास्तविक चुनौतियों से जूझने और सार्थक कर्म में लगनी चाहिए।
अंधविश्वास या किसी दावे को केवल किताबों, परंपराओं या बड़ी-बड़ी हस्तियों के कहने से नहीं मानना चाहिए। भौतिक जगत से जुड़े हर दावे के लिए प्रमाण माँगना आवश्यक है। जो बात जाँची-परखी जा सकती है, उसे तर्क, प्रयोग और उपकरणों से जाना जाए; बिना जाने नहीं माना जाए। सच्ची जिज्ञासा वही है जो हर दावे के सामने प्रश्नचिह्न रखे और प्रमाण मिलने पर ही स्वीकार करे।
You feel bad when your expectations are not fulfilled, because you are assuming that your expectations are good for you. The fact is not this. The fact is: Your expectations are bad for you. So, some wise man has said, “If I want to curse you, I will say, ‘May all your desires come true’.” That is the worst way of cursing somebody – “May all your desires come true. Now live with them, now bear the consequences.” That’s a curse. So, this is always to be kept in mind – “I do not know my own good.” Can you remember this?
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Wherever you spend your time and whatever you spend your time with is called attachment and the brain is very eager to get attached. Once attached, it wants to remain attached. And this want that the old pattern must continue is called expectation. So, expectation arises out of attachment. Out of that dead coincidence arises the dead attachment, and out of this dead attachment arises the dead expectation. Now, when the expectation is something so mechanical, so dead, is it wise on our part to run after expectations?
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Question : Why do I get affected when others say something about me?
Speaker : You do not ask this question when someone says something good about you or when someone gives you a compliment. This question that why do I get affected when somebody says something about me, arises…
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प्रश्नकर्ता: हमारे जीवन में परिवर्तन कैसे सम्भव है?
आचार्य प्रशांत: हर समय हो तो रहा है परिवर्तन। अभी बैठे थे, अब खड़े हो गये। हो गया परिवर्तन। और कैसा परिवर्तन चाहते हो? टीशर्ट पहने हो, थोड़ी देर में उतार दोगे, तो हो गया परिवर्तन। परिवर्तन क्या है? दायें को अटके…
First of all, you unnecessarily give birth to a child, and then you burden him with your expectations. Instead of apologizing to him
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Questioner (Q): Sir, can an introvert become more communicative?
Acharya Prashant (AP): Why does an introvert need to be more communicative?
Q: He has some fears and doubts when he talks to someone.
AP: Who is an introvert?
Q: The one who is afraid of asking doubts.
AP: That is…
Share
Life is decided by no factor stronger than the company and the environment you give yourself. So be careful. Be careful about the people you meet, be careful about the stuff you read, be careful about what you eat, be careful about what you are seeing, what you are hearing.…
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Questioner (Q): Acharya Ji, how can I detach myself from the disappointment that others feel when I fail their expectations?
Acharya Prashant (AP): The people are disappointed with you because you won't fulfill their expectations. What effect does their disappointment have upon you?
Q: It makes me feel guilty.
AP:…
If you are prepared to…
When those returns are not forthcoming, have you seen how you shout, how you go breathless, how you panic, how you stamp your feet, how you pull the other’s hair, how you pull out your own hair?
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Acharya Prashant (AP): You are comparing fine apples with rotten oranges. When these pop best-sellers and neo-spiritual…
“Not only should you be with me for one night; assure me that I will find you on the bed
…
Share
Have you ever looked at your relationships closely? Do you ever want the other? No. You just want…
Brahm
is truly greater by manifolds, then what motivation would I have to perform the mundane duties, chasing worldly desires like wealth etc.? I cannot just sit doing nothing, thinking that my kids will have an education and
…
And that’s why you see disappointed couples. The man was living a forlorn life. The woman was living a spineless life,
…
Share
…
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Questioner (Q): How should I control my emotions so that they don’t become too extreme? For example, every time I achieve my goal I feel very happy, but when I fail I curse myself and start crying. So, how can I behave in a neutral way?
Acharya Prashant (AP): Remember…
Share
.
Similarly, janu does not need to say…
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Somebody who doesn’t challenge
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AP:
It's cold..it's nice; this
…
These are two words that you must be very careful about, ‘want’ and ‘must’, ‘I want to do this thing’ versus ‘I must do this thing’—these are dimensionally different statements. All ‘want’ is conditioned. ‘Must-ness’ is an entirely different thing.
“This must be done. And in front of this it…
is such a threat; you cannot like him. But silly
chomu
is so cute.
You…
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(आध्यात्मिक झुकाव के साथ)। मेरे बेटे को आपको सुनने का रोग पिछले दो साल से लगा हुआ है। पहले मुझे लगा कोई
स्पिरिचुअल टीचिंग
होंगी। पर कुल इतना सीखा है उसने आपसे कि शादी नहीं करूँगा,
जॉब
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आचार्य प्रशांत: अब क्या कहें पंखुड़ी, तुम्हारा तो नाम ही ऐसा है। (श्रोतागण हँसते हैं) इसमें तुम्हारी ग़लती…
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ऑब्ज़र्व
(निरीक्षण) किया उसे भी देख रहा था तो मैं
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प्रश्नकर्ता: किसी की यादें दिल से कैसे निकालें? समझ नहीं आता कि नाकाम इश्क़ का मातम मनाएँ या उन दो सालों की खुशबुओं का जशन। यादों में दिल ख़ुशगवार रहता है और यादों से बाहर बेकस और मायूस। (इम्तियाज़ अली हैं लखनऊ से)
आचार्य प्रशांत: यादों में दिल ख़ुशगवार रहता…
आचार्य प्रशांत: नहीं, ठगे नहीं गए। व्यापार में घाटा हो गया। यह जो उम्मीद का कारोबार है, यह पारस्परिक होता है भाई।…
तो शादी से पहले तो तुम ख़ुद ही सच्चाई को पर्दे में रखते हो। तुम ख़ुद ही एक दूसरे के सामने सभ्यता का, शालीनता का, भलाई का मुखौटा पहन कर बैठते हो। “नहीं, नहीं तुम बैठो! पॉपकॉर्न मैं ले आता हूँ।“
