Maturity

Many of us interrupt, rush to make our point, or change the topic when a conversation comes too close. We call it a lack of patience or discipline. But impatience in a conversation is often fear: when what we hold within is borrowed belief, every question could shatter it. The same confusion makes us take our instincts and feelings as ourselves, though they are only the body’s chemistry. If we looked honestly at what we hold, would a question still feel like an attack?

कोई खिलाड़ी देश के लिए मेडल जीतकर लौटती है, और बधाई के साथ ही सवाल आता है कि खुशखबरी कब दोगी। उम्र का पैमाना और परिवार की अपेक्षा मिलकर उसकी पूरी मेहनत को एक देह की भूमिका तक सीमित कर देते हैं। पर सफलता केवल वह नहीं जिसे दूसरे गिन सकें। जब हम स्वयं को देह भर मान लेते हैं, तो हमारे विचार, लहजा और अपनी छवि तक उसी में बँध जाते हैं। इंसान बनकर जीना और किसी के हाथों न बिकना अपने आप में बड़ी और बिरली सफलता है। हमारे लिए असली खुशखबरी क्या है?

35 की उम्र आते ही खिलाड़ी महिला से कहा जाने लगता है कि अब खेल छोड़ो, बच्चों को मौका दो। हम मान लेते हैं कि यह उम्र और शरीर की मजबूरी है। पर ध्यान से देखें तो शरीर का तर्क टिकता ही नहीं। असल दबाव उस सिखाई गई मान्यता का है जो महिला को उसके शरीर और उससे जुड़ी भूमिकाओं से ही तौलती है, और जिसे हम अपनी ही सोच मान बैठे हैं। जो आवाज़ें हमें बताती हैं कि हमारी ज़िंदगी का क्या करना है, क्या हम ईमानदारी से देख पाएँगे कि वे आवाज़ें किसकी हैं?

नया उन्हीं के पास आता है, जिनमें हिम्मत होती है — पुराना ख़त्म करने की। क्योंकि तुम्हें असल में कुछ नया नहीं चाहिए, तुम्हें तो सिर्फ़ पुराने से मुक्ति चाहिए। हम अपने आप से और पुराने से ऊब चुके हैं, और इसके ख़त्म होने की चाह रखते हैं। यदि वास्तव में नया चाहिए, तो पुराने को जाने दो और श्रद्धा रखो — नया अपने आप आ जाएगा। अन्यथा सिर्फ़ नए की आकांक्षा करोगे, तो वही आकांक्षा पुराने को बनाए रखेगी।

फटी हुई जींस पहनने, और बाल रंगवाने से कोई कूल नहीं हो जाता। कूलनेस बहुत अच्छी चीज़ है, परंतु कूल हो नहीं, और ख़ुद को कूल कहो — यह समस्या है। कूल होना आध्यात्मिक बात है। कूल होने का असली मतलब है कि तुम श्रीकृष्ण का ज्ञान जानो। श्रीकृष्ण ने अर्जुन से कहा — तू विगत-ज्वर हो जा। जिसे ज्वर न चढ़े, जो आवेश और आवेग से मुक्त हो, वही वास्तव में कूल है।

Acharya Prashant: ‘How can I get my ex-girlfriend back?’ The question comes from Shubham. Shubham you will have to die (audience bursts into laughter). There is no other way, you will have to die.

You know, it was Kabir Sahab who said: ये तो घर है प्रेम का, खाला…

उम्र बढ़ जाने से तुम व्यस्क नहीं हो जाते। उसके लिए यहाँ दिमाग में कुछ होना चाहिए। कोई एक होता है जो बड़ा हो पाता है। कोई-कोई होता है जो वास्तव में बड़ा हो पाता है। उसको कहते हैं-खिलना, अपनी पूर्णता को प्राप्त होना। कोई-कोई होता है, बाकी तो सब ऐसे जैसे हमारे ऑफिस में डहेलिया है, ये लगे हुए हैं।

जानना तुम्हारा स्वभाव है, करना तुम्हारी प्रकृति है। जब तुम कहते हो, ‘मैं काम कर रहा हूँ’, तो तुम ये मान के चलते हो कि जो कुछ हो रहा है, उसमें तुम्हारी भी कोई सत्ता है। तुम करने वाले हो ही नहीं। जो होना है, सो तो हो ही रहा है, “अनहोनी होनी नहीं, होनी होय सो होय”। जानो! तुम मात्र जानने वाले हो।

मोह इतना सघन हो जाता है कि तुम सत्य से इनकार करने लगते हो। बात सीधी है, कचरा है लेकिन उसके साथ बहुत रहे हो, उससे पहचान जोड़ ली है, तो अब कचरे को कचरा नहीं बोलोगे। क्योंकि कचरे को कचरा बोला तो खुद को कचरा बोला; पहचान जोड़ ली है न। यही अहंकार है– पहचान जोड़ लेना और फिर जिस वस्तु से सम्बद्ध हो, उसके सारे गुण अपने ऊपर ले लेना। चोट पड़ रही हो कर्मफल की, और सहारा मिल रहा हो गुरु का ग्रन्थ का, ये दोनों जब एकसाथ हो रहे हों तो फिर नासमझी छूट जाती है।

प्रश्नकर्ता: आचार्य जी अकेलापन महसूस करती हूँ और पुरानी बातें याद आती हैं। इस पर आपने कहा था कि विद्रोह पूर्ण करना पड़ता है। हम जहाँ रहते हैं, जहाँ काम करते हैं, ये सारी जगह एक होती हैं तो विद्रोह पूर्ण करना पड़ता है।माताजी के गुजरने और घर के…

"प्रेम प्रेम सब कहैं, प्रेम न चीन्है कोय। जा मारग साहब मिलै, प्रेम कहावै सोय।" या जा मारग डायपर मिले प्रेम कहावै सोय? जिस मार्ग पर चलकर साहब से मुलाकात हो जाए, उस मार्ग का नाम है प्रेम (आकाश की ओर इशारा करते हुए) । या प्रेम उस मार्ग का नाम है जो *मैटरनिटी* (प्रसूति) वार्ड की ओर जाता है?

Understanding expresses itself through action. And understanding knows no other expression. Words are a very poor substitute for the right action and that is what Gibran is talking of here. He says that which is understood claim for its final expression as action in life. The poet often lets his understanding become his words. To that extent, there is a flow but if the words remain mere words and do not turn into life then there is no freedom yet. The imprisonment continues. Live what you love, otherwise, the punishment is tremendous.

Questioner: Why do people commit suicide?

Acharya Prashant: They still have a lot of hope. They feel that suicide would redeem them. They have not given up everything. They are still carrying a lot of hope. If I do not know what is beyond life, how can I enter that…

So many love affairs are actually based on not much more than gossip. What do the couples mostly do? Do they discuss wisdom? Do they discuss the renaissance enlightenment? They gossip and they gossip like hell. But that gossip is so fruitful; they get sex. Kids are born and mind you, rarely would you find a man and a woman who would be able to trust each other without gossiping, without engaging in small talk, loose talk.

प्रश्नकर्ता: मैं एक मध्यम वर्गीय परिवार से हूँ और बचपन से ही बहुत कम महत्वाकांक्षी रहा हूँ। खेल-खेल में ही मैंने जेईई का एग्ज़ाम क्रैक किया (परीक्षा उत्तीर्ण की) और आइआइटी खड़गपुर में इलेक्ट्रॉनिक्स इंजीनियरिंग (अभियान्त्रिकी) करने का मौका मिला।

इंजीनियरिंग के दूसरे वर्ष में ट्रैकिंग (पर्वतारोहण) करने का मौका…

प्रश्नकर्ता: आचार्य जी, जब कोई कुछ बोलता है, तो न चाहते हुए भी ‘ना’ नहीं बोल पाता हूँ।

आचार्य प्रशांत: ‘ना’ तो तुम बोलते हो, ऐसा तो नहीं है कि ‘ना’ नहीं बोल पाते।

ऐसा नहीं है। ‘ना’ तो हम बोलते हैं, वहाँ हमारा गणित होता है। हमें अच्छे से…

Maturity is when you can transcend your body, and by the body, I mean the bodily compulsions. That includes your thoughts, your feelings, and everything because they are all bodily. You very well know how chemicals in the body translate into thoughts and feelings. Read more...

Don't be bothered when others say you've lived a failed life or made wrong decisions. Let them talk. You will know you're right, just as clearly as you know when your thirst is quenched. You were thirsty, you drank water, and even if the world tells you you're still thirsty, you know the truth. Trust your own experience. Live life in your own light, for that is the only right way.

This age, when you are in your late teens or early twenties, is the time when life is constantly and rapidly changing around you, without giving you a moment to take stock of things and feel assured, even briefly, that things will stay as they are. Because they do not continue as they are now, everything is unpredictably changeable. What does one do? One needs some anchor, something unchanging, or else there’s too much insecurity. If everything can change and one’s existence depends on these things, it feels deeply unstable.

We are actually afraid that the decision will prove to be ‘wrong’. Is it the decision-making that terrifies us or the thought that my decision may turn out to be wrong? My real fear is that ‘I do not know what is right and wrong. Because all my life I have lived according to the criterion provided by others. I have no understanding of how to live intelligently and how to decide for myself. Another reason that we feel afraid in decision making is that we feel accountable, we feel a certain obligation, we feel that if our decision is wrong, what answers we will provide to others? We are not really afraid of the event as such. Rather, we are afraid that what kind of face will we show to others?

Questioner: What we get from outside especially in the childhood, is the love, affection, care of our parents, family. How can that contribute to our ego?

Acharya Prashant: There is a saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” People’s intentions are good, but they end up doing…

Acharya Prashant: Energy arises when you know what you are doing. Life is inert and boring when you do not know what you are really doing. You have no interest in doing anything.

All of you are sitting here. There are many of you who are looking here and…

Listener: Sir, we have heard this thing and understood it well that with maturity comes responsibility. My question is on the next statement which I will state now that, “Responsibility also given before time and before maturity, have the tendency to spoil that person to whom it is given,…

*T***o personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.**

Question: Sir, is it possible to help those who are deeply blind, even if they do not agree or acknowledge that they are blind? Is it possible to help such people?

Speaker: Alok is asking that…

Speaker: How many of you feel this way that when the time is there, the opportunity is there, you feel blank? The mind experiences a blackout. Do you understand a blackout? There is nothing. And when the moment is gone then the thoughts arise. In the moment of action, you…

Speaker: You see we are outrageously arrogant when it comes to small things, we are so fond of claiming that which we do not have, but we are absurdly humble when it comes to claiming that which we really have. You don’t have a large house but you would not…

Question: Sir, how to become a child again?

Speaker: The child is there, let it loose. Why do you cage it? Why do you suppress it? Why must you act so mature and grown up? Why must your face be so thoughtful? Why must you appear so serious and absorbed?…

Speaker: Achievement will happen, but the mind will remain non-achiever.

Achievements will happen, great achievements will happen, greater than what you have ever dreamed of, greater than your greatest goal but you will not be an achiever, and it is a beautiful thing. Achievements are just happening and I am…

Student: Sir, how to get rid of unwanted thoughts in the mind?

Speaker: The unwanted thought? What is your name?

Student: Avnish

Speaker: Avnish is asking how to get rid of the unwanted noise of thought in the mind. How many of you have experienced this, that there is so…

प्रश्नकर्ता: आचार्य जी प्रणाम। मैं आपके द्वारा लोगों को लाभ पाता देखता हूँ। इस शिविर में भी बहुत से लोग ऐसे हैं जो लाभान्वित हुए हैं, और अपनी कृतज्ञता भी व्यक्त करते हैं और साथ में संस्था के जो स्वयं सेवक हैं उनके कार्य को भी देखता हूँ, तो मेरा…

Acharya Prashant: We can live in two kinds of worlds. How? Even as I am speaking to you, some of you are listening, and the others might be thinking and wandering and lost in imagination, Right? Do you see that? You have to be together in this. Is that alright?…

Questioner (Q): We encounter these nodes in the path of our lives where we have to make decisions. The majority of us have a lot of duties associated with our life, and these duties also come with some demands associated with how we must act. For example, right now I…

Question: I often find my life revolving around petty issues, issues around ‘me’, mine’. And there is a deep frustration because of this. I feel that I want something more. Is that just an ideology, or there is something more to it?

Speaker: Life is not something, cast in stone.…

Acharya Prashant (AP): If you are peaceful, if you are joyful, if you are centered, if you do not always feel like running after achievement, then no change is needed. Everything is alright.

Look at this. When you are running after achievement, what is this that you are saying? "I…

Acharya Prashant (AP): Wonderful! A nice question has come to us. Our friend is saying that greed is making people work. If you remove greed from people’s life, they will not grow. So, I'm asking him, what is growth?

Questioner (Q): Growth is evolution. Like we have evolved into a…

If the two persons who are in this social arrangement of marriage are also spiritual friends, then they rise above the social arrangement. The social arrangement by itself is a recipe for disaster. But when the social arrangement is purified, consecrated by the spiritual touch, then the poison in it…

Questioner : Is it possible to be related without attachment?

Shri Prashant : The question covers the wider issue of relationships. What are relationships? What is the place of attachment in relationships?

Relationships could come from three different, distinct sources. There could be three different basis of relationships.

The lowest…

Disatisfied how do you feel? Tell me.

Listener: Sir, I feel afraid, I feel insecure, and a lot of questions.

Speaker: Right, you feel afraid, you feel insecure and a lot of questions – can we call them doubts? You feel doubtful.

Look at the flow that is coming to…

Listener: How can we get rid of past and future worries that distract our present and dis-illuminate our path?

Speaker: Kushagra is asking how can we get rid of our past and future worries that distract our present and dis-illuminate our path. Path goes to where?

Listener: Future.

Speaker: So,…

Speaker: Amit says, ‘Assuming that I have to go to a place where there are all foolish men, how can I retain my individuality there?’ First of all the individual does not have to go anywhere. ‘Have to’ implies compulsion. ‘Have to’ implies that there is somebody else who is…

Law just says that there is a legal age—eighteen, twenty-one and such things. First of all, giving birth requires that there has to be mental maturity.

Unfortunately, 99% of the world’s population is not at all mentally mature enough to be parents. The funny thing is that the 1% who…

Question: Is it possible to change ‘that’ (the outer world) by changing ‘this’ (the mind)?

Acharya Prashant: Yes! They are related. When the quality of the mind changes, the world also changes. Haven’t you heard this? *‘Jaisi drishti waisi shrishti’*? Change ‘this’ (the mind) and ‘that’…

Questioner: Sir, you always say to live with the thoughts. But at any second there are so many thoughts in mind so how to control it, sir? How to control the mind?

Acharya Prashant: Who will control them? If one is in a dream and the dream is a very…

Student- Why do people fall in love?

Speaker- We talked about the child and we said that the child’s brain is like a sponge. Right?

We tried to look at the child in terms of some kind of physical properties of the brain. Let’s extend it further and see what…

Shri Prashant: This is a camera (holding a smartphone in hand, pointing towards the camera) and let’s say that there is something written over here (pointing at the wall). I want to let it come to me through this camera and I record it using this camera and the…

Question: How can we overcome our fears?

Speaker: For quite a while I have been inviting questions. Did you think just now of asking this question, or was this question written on your page since the beginning?

Listener 1: Since the beginning.

Speaker: Since the beginning. You did not raise…

Questioner: How did sages like Ashtavakra and Adi Shankara attain wisdom at such an early age of fourteen or eight? You have said in many of your videos that unbearable pain coming from falseness is the starting point of the journey towards the Truth. How can someone have this kind…

Questioner: Dear Sir, I am writing this mail with a very heavy heart. It is on account of my affection for my father, that I had to get into the filth of society and family. But now that I am into it, I find myself unable to be a part…

Shri Prashant: The question asked is why must one understand the ego?

So, what is the ego? What have you understood? Forget the rules.

Listener 1: Something which lets us develop ourselves. If we do not have ego, we cannot develop.

SP: Put it in very simple language,…

Question: Sir, love is not attachment. Attachment means habit and if it is so, the person you love becomes an object. But if we are not attached to that person we love, then we see that person like others, and it is our habit to hurt others for our own…