Meet the Most Exploited Person Ever || AP Neem Candies
Acharya Prashant: If you will observe, you will find that people who are living most contented lives do not find it necessary to intrude in the lives of their kids, their sons and daughters. Because they are complete and satisfied in themselves. If they have to do something, or get something, or act something in a particular way, they place the responsibility on themselves. They would not say that that which is unfinished in my life must be taken forward by my offspring.
And on the contrary, people, who themselves are frustrated, incomplete, insecure, barge just too much into the lives of their sons and daughters. And if somebody is intruding too much in the life of someone else, it is a sure shot proof that the intruder is not joyful within himself. Because if you are not joyful within yourself, hence you feel the need to poke your nose everywhere. And because kids are easy targets, they live under the weight of morality, so you exploit them.
All of you, parents, or going to become parents, I must ask, are you sure, you know for yourself what is wrong and what is right? Are you sure you know for yourself, what is meant by a right life? Then why do you act as custodians of your children’s life? Are you an exemplar of what it means to live beautifully? And if you are not, then must you not first discover this for yourself, before you impose yourself upon anybody else, be it your husband or your wife, or your child?
You look at your life, you look at the quality of your decisions, and you look at the quality of your Mind. Have you settled down? You know what settling down means? Have you ever driven a vehicle on a dusty road? Have you seen how the dust rises after your vehicle passes? And then it settles down.
Have you ever stirred a pot containing some precipitate? When you stir it, the whole thing rises and the mixture becomes opaque and dirty looking. And then you leave it still and silent and then it? Settles down. And when it settles down, you find that the solid has again separated from the liquid and the water is again now, transparent, pure, and beautiful. That is what it means to settle down. To become silent. So, that you regain your purity. Have YOU settled down? There is dust all over in your Mind, where is the question of settling down? But then why do you keep phoning your kids? Why do you keep making their lives miserable by asking them to settle down quickly? Have YOU settled down? First go and settle down, then advise somebody else to settle down.
You are so unsettled. Your face bears the mark of a refugee crisis. You look like wanderers and strangers—homeless, displaced. First of all, you find your own grounding, your own home and settle down there and then go and advise somebody else to settle down.
Be kind towards your kids.
Questioner: But Sir, parents say that we have given you security, finances, all our life…
Acharya Prashant: Is that so? Would you do that for your kid? But these are good things to tell your kid. To burden him under the weight of obligations and responsibility. All of you who are not yet parents, seriously tell me, would you give your life to your kid? Nobody does that, come on. Nobody ever did that. That’s a nice thing to tell someone. To make him feel guilty and burdened.
There are many exploited groups in the world—ethnic minorities, lower castes, tribes living in secluded regions, people with physical disabilities, people who are exploited in the name of race, or skin color, or religion. But if there is one group of people that is the most exploited and can’t even complain, because it is in no position to complain, it is KIDS, the child.
The child is the most exploited person in the World, ever, and since always.
This morning Sampada ji said, ‘She feels bad about those mules. They are made to stand there and carry those stones against their wish.’ You feel bad for those mules and you don’t feel bad for kids. What are they carrying? You know what are they carrying, against their wish? When their wish is not even being formed. And these mules, they would be offloaded in a while. And then they can relax. Because the burden upon them is merely physical. But the burden that we give to our kids is mental and they carry it for their entire lives—concepts, lifestyle, morality, religion, obligations, duties, responsibilities, patterns of thought, deep lies, distorted histories.
Now imagine, one year olds, two year olds, five year olds, standing there and carrying those stones. How does the visual look? Scary.
People come to me and have their one on one sessions and there are many ways in which I meet people — Camps, sessions, otherwise, travelling, meeting. If someone were to ask me, ‘What is the one thing that I am always doing?’ The one thing that I am always doing is relieving people of the burden that was imposed upon them since their childhood. All spirituality is about that only.
If you sit somewhere and find yourself confused or afraid, don’t you see where all of that is coming from? Don’t you see how humanity has been cruel towards the child? Don’t you see how the markets, the media, education, all play havoc with the tender mind of the child? Those of you who have studied marketing would know that kids today comprise a major target group for marketers. And different and specific targeting techniques are used to encircle and pin down kids. Such heartlessness. The fellow is four years old, his brain is not yet fully developed. And you are tempting him, telling him lies, seducing him, so that he may buy your product.
Questioner: Is it a mere coincidence that since the session has started none of the parents here has participated, asked any question or commented?
Acharya Prashant: That’s not a significant difference or categorization. Parents do not just emerge from some dark caves. Young people like you, like so many others sitting over here, become parents. And the same darkness that engulfs our lives, becomes the darkness that surrounds the child as well. You won’t even know when you become a parent. It just happens.
Parents are not a separate ethnic community or something. Their DNA is not different. They do not live in separate countries reserved for parents. It is a matter of time, you are a parent, he is a parent, she is a parent, everybody is a parent. And if you do not know yourself, you will also not know your child.
A parent is first and foremost a person. And the person is responsible to first of all, discover the Truth for himself. And if you have not done that, then you will fail in all your roles in life. You will fail in your role as a husband, as a parent, as a wife, as an employee, as a friend, as a member of the community, you will fail in everything.
The man whose Mind is not in the proper place cannot be a good anything. He cannot be even a good idiot. He cannot be a good painter and an artist, he cannot be a good sportsperson, he cannot be a good dancer, he cannot be a good anything. How will he then be a good parent?
So, do not restrict your question to parenting. It is about being the right Mind. And then you will also be the right parent.
Full article link: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/articles/conceive-the-child-only-in-love-1_ea69245
