You did not do what you should have done for yourself; therefore you now expect somebody else to do good things for you.
The responsibility to bring goodness to your life rests primarily upon you, not upon somebody else. To bring somebody to life and then expect that somebody to bring richness and goodness to your life is not wise. As an adult, it is your own responsibility to fill up your life with beauty, with wellness, with goodness. And if you are not doing it, why and how must someone else do it for you?
But you expect that from the other person. The expectations will never be fulfilled, and you will be hurt. Why do you want to invite so much sorrow?