Sex

एक महिला खिलाड़ी वर्ल्ड चैंपियनशिप में मेडल जीतती है, लेकिन उसे ऑनलाइन हैरसमेंट, फ़ेक अकाउंट्स और आपत्तिजनक तस्वीरों का सामना करना पड़ता है। सदियों की वर्जनाओं ने हमें स्त्री को सिर्फ़ देह के तल पर देखने का आदी बना दिया है, उसकी काबिलियत या गहराई से कोई सरोकार नहीं रहता। यही पैटर्न गाड़ी, नौकरी और शादी जैसे रोज़मर्रा के फैसलों में भी दिखता है। यह कोई विकृति नहीं, बल्कि इन्हीं वर्जनाओं की स्वाभाविक परिणति है।

तुम्हारे घर में कोई चीज़ अँधेरे में रखी थी, कोई आकर उस पर थोड़ी रोशनी डाल सकता है। उस पर थोड़ा प्रयोग करके बता सकता है कि ये चीज़ सड़ी हुई है। उसके आगे का काम तो तुम्हारी नीयत का है। उसको उठा के बाहर तुम्हें ही फेंकना पड़ेगा। नीयत, फ़ैसला, ईमानदारी, इनका कोई विकल्प नहीं होता। डूबे रहो इधर-उधर की चीज़ों में, वासना हो, डर हो। जिस दिन तुम जलोगे, उस दिन डर और वासना भी जल जाएँगे। कहानी कभी न कभी तो ख़त्म होनी है। या तो ख़ुद अभी ख़त्म कर लो, नहीं तो चिता पर ख़त्म हो जाएगी। मर्ज़ी है।

जिनके पास कुछ करने को नहीं है, वो कुछ तो करने की कल्पना करेंगे न। अब आदमी को पता नहीं होता कि सूनापन चीज़ क्या है; वो पैदा कहाँ से हो रहा है। तो उसको भरने के लिए फिर तरह-तरह की कोशिशें करता है, अपनी स्थिति अनुसार। आप स्त्री हो, तो डिमांड पुरुष की करोगे; आप पुरुष हो, तो स्त्री की करोगे। आप ग़रीब हो, तो पैसे की करोगे। ऐसा लगेगा कि अलग-अलग चीज़ों की डिमांड हो रही है। पर वो जो आपकी डिमांड है, माने डिज़ायर है, वो वास्तव में आ रही है एक ही जगह से, वह है हमारा अस्तित्वगत अज्ञान, उसी को अहंकार बोलते हैं।

हम साइकोसोमैटिक बीइंग्स होते हैं न, हम तो कुछ खाते भी हैं, तो उसका भी असर मन पर पड़ता है। पड़ता है न? और वो शरीर की ही बात है। आप कुछ उल्टा-पुल्टा खा लीजिए, असर पड़ेगा। नशे का भी यही सिद्धांत होता है, आप कुछ ले लीजिए उससे दिमाग़ चक्कर खाना शुरू कर देगा। उसी तरीक़े से ये जो सेक्सुअल यूनियन होता है, ये भी एक फिज़िकल चीज़ है, जिसका मन पर असर पड़ता है। ये भी मन पर निशान छोड़ता है। तो आप इमोशनली भले ही नहीं अटैच हो रही हों, पर क्या आपने परखा है कि इसका मन पर क्या असर पड़ता है?

Sex, whether premarital or postmarital, depends on the people who are engaging in it. Even in postmarital sex, there can be a lot of violence. Equally, there can be a very bad kind of sexual encounter before marriage. The word marital does not matter. If two people are not meeting in actual love, then it doesn't matter whether the thing is postmarital or premarital — it is simply abominable. If you love someone, give them wings, light, and self-knowledge. Liberation is the foremost indicator of love.

Questioner: “Acharya Ji, my whole life, I treated sex as fun due to my early age experience. I would treat it as fun-just to relax my body. But now, at my mature age, I feel that it’s a responsibility to have a son or a daughter for humanity, to strengthen…

ये जो पारंपरिक बात रही है कि अध्यात्म के साथ-साथ कामवासना क्षीण हो जाती है, वो बात अपनी जगह बिलकुल ठीक है। लेकिन उसमें यह बात भी है कि फिर आपकी वासना, आपके मूल्यों का एक प्रतिबिम्ब बन जाती है, एक उद्घोषणा बन जाती है कि मुझे क्या चीज़ पसंद है। पहले आप एक साधारण आदमी थे, जिसके साधारण बल्कि निम्न तल के मूल्य थे। तो उसी तल का आप कोई साथी भी चुन लेते थे। आध्यात्मिक व्यक्ति चूँकि ऊँचाइयों का प्रेमी होता है, उच्चता का। तो इसीलिए वो फिर सेक्स (संभोग) को एक साधारण मनोरंजन की तरह नहीं इस्तेमाल करता।

सेक्स अच्छा या बुरा नहीं होता। अगर आपके जीवन में हर चीज़ के लिए उलझाव है, निर्णय नहीं ले पाते, तो आप सेक्स के बारे में भी अच्छा-बुरा, सही-गलत सोचेंगे। अगर आप सही जिंदगी जी रहे हो, हक़ीक़त के साथ हो, तो सेक्स पर सोचना नहीं पड़ेगा। होगा तो होगा, नहीं होगा तो नहीं होगा। जीवन में एक प्रवाह रहेगा, और तुम्हारे मन पर सेक्स एक बोझ की तरह नहीं रहेगा।

Sex has to become something small, something not very important, not a great monster that you are fighting all the time. Just as you do not remember what you took for breakfast yesterday, sex is something you do not even remember. If it is instead present in the mind all the time, what to do?

How does it matter whether you are homosexual or heterosexual? You're still body-identified. The lust for the body is still there. If one has homosexual desires, they are desires. If a man lusts after a woman, that too is a desire. And neither of these desires takes you anywhere. The superior being is the one who stops running after the body.

On one hand, because you don’t understand what this thing called sex is all about, so you can’t resist it. You have no understanding of what this entire process is. You have never bothered to understand what this hormonal business is. So, you come to a particular age and your body becomes mature; there is a chemical action within the body, and you start getting influenced by it. You cannot resist it because there is no understanding. Only out of understanding there is freedom from influence.

हमारी धार्मिकता तो ये है कि बोल दिया, चुपचाप मान लो और जैसा कहा जाए, करो। समझो, समझाओ, जानो तब मानो — ये तो धर्म में चलता ही नहीं है। तो धर्म ने बिना समझाए आपको बोल दिया है कि ये छी!छी! चीज़ है, छिच्छी! और ये होने मत देना। धर्म ने तो बोल दिया, ‘होने मत देना’, पर वो होकर रहेगी। और जब होकर रहेगी तो आप क्या हो जाओगे? शर्मसार, आप अपराध भाव से भर जाते हो। और जैसे ही अपराध भाव से भरते हो, आपको लग जाता है आप गुनहगार हो, आप लज्जित हो जाते हो।

The big thing is not about attaining the big thing. The big thing is about fighting the stuff that keeps you away from the big. That fight is a very real thing and one needs to take that up. That's called love. That's called love. You cannot ever fully completely have it, but it's still worth the fight. And when you plunge yourself into the fight, then you do not care about these small things.

शरीर की निर्मिति ही ऐसी है कि वासना इसे सताएगी, वासना के बीज इसी में मौजूद हैं। शरीर को आराम दे दो, रोटी दे दो और इसे सेक्स दे दो, इसके अलावा इसे कुछ नहीं चाहिए। जीवन के पल-पल को ऊँचे-से-ऊँचे काम से परिपूर्ण रखो। कोई भी ऐसा काम जिसमें स्वार्थ न हो, जिसमें करुणा हो, रचनात्मकता हो, संगीत हो — ये सब ऊँचे काम हैं। खाली मत रहो, जो खाली होगा, वही फँसेगा।

In our country, most people marry because that is sometimes the only way of getting some good sex—good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would either have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time, or both, and then still return empty-handed. Isn’t that so?

Now, if…

All your relationships are deeply your attempts to fill an inner void. Whether you relate sexually to one person or many — will sex give you what you truly want? The body is a shallow means to attain that which your consciousness craves. There are beautiful ways of relating to men and women; relate to them in higher ways.

The ego says that my first priority is to remain, exist, and after that comes everything else. Even the Truth must be subservient to my first priority. So, liberation is alright as long as it is a second of liberation. Peace is alright as long as it is five minutes of peace. But if silence threatens to take over the entire life, if peace starts dominating noise to the extent that the noise might be completely annihilated, then the ego rejects. The ego wants Truth, but only a modicum of Truth. The ego wants peace, but only a sliver of peace.

Questioner: Thank you for meeting with me again, Acharya Ji! I have a question.

Every time I see an attractive woman, I’m gonna feel the impulse to drop everything and look at her.

Men’s headspace is occupied with conquering women. Can I train myself out of it?

But I have…

प्रश्नकर्ता: सर, आजकल बहुत लोग ये कहते हैं कि सेक्सुअली लिबरेटेड (यौन रूप से मुक्त) होना बहुत ज़रूरी है एक इंसान का। आप इस पर ज़रा प्लीज़ कुछ कहिए।

आचार्य प्रशांत: नहीं, सेक्सुअली लिबरेटेड जैसा कुछ होता नहीं है। बन्धन सेक्स पर नहीं होते, बन्धन मन पर होते हैं। तो …

Man keeps on fantasizing about sex as the ultimate remedy to his mental chaos. And to get this remedy, he must have the woman’s body. To ensure that the woman’s body is available, the man must keep the woman in bondage. Otherwise, she may, or she may not acquiesce.

Your partner looks into your eyes, does something to your consciousness. How long lasting is the sexual pleasure? What does it leave you with? It leaves you with the need to get a shower and it leaves you with a stained bedsheet. Whereas, if you spend a day with the right person, a day, and a night, then you are left with something that might last your lifetime.

Acharya Prashant: What if you were never, never trained in womanhood? How would you live? You can’t even think because right now, every bit of you is a trained bit. How do you know that a woman must have long hair? How do you know? That’s how it is! Nine…

Acharya Prashant: You might just say, “Well, no I am not looking for flesh, I am looking for money. I am looking for material success. I am looking to have another factory. I am looking to have a bigger house with better furniture.” You might talk of material things other…

If the girl is physically attractive, the boy will feel physical attraction. Where does love come into the equation? Love is harder towards someone attractive because physical attractiveness overpowers everything else. If someone comes for your body, it’s not love. A wise woman laughs when a suitor praises her beauty.

Acharya Prashant: Women like burly guys. Why do they like burly and big and muscular guys? Because they are likely to have a higher level of testosterone. Unless you have testosterone, you cannot build muscles, right? And that is why you cannot build muscles, let's say after 50 or 60.…

Acharya Prashant: The punishment for not having a girlfriend is that you will keep fantasizing about girls. Does that not happen? Who are the ones who always keep salivating? The singles. And you meet someone who is in a relationship, he won't want to look at girls or boys, for…

The mind is fed up of its daily, boring, routine, fettered and frustrated life. But it has no faith or courage to break away from this life. It is very necessary for it to keep looking towards the future. Some special day must always lie ahead: New Year, Valentine’s, Holi, your birthday, Diwali and so on. This cycle keeps up the illusion that something great is coming.

Acharya Prashant: The question is from Sonali, “I got married after six years of relationship and five years of married life now. Due to contrasting personalities, my husband and I fight a lot. In April, we had a very big conflict and the police got involved. Now we are living…

The difference between your intellectual position and your evolutionary position is increasing day by day. So, technology is giving you great stuff, but you are responding to it in a chimpanzee way. So, here you have these cameras, wonderful things, but what do you do with this? What do you do with this technology? You do all the monkey stuff with this technology. Read more.....

Remember who you are. Once the consciousness is out of you, you are nobody. They will not even keep your ashes. Dogs will dig at your bones if any remain. So, remember who you are. Had you just been the body, why would have they buried you in the ground, burned away the body? Who are you then? Let the funeral ground clearly tell you who you are. Read more....

Acharya Prashant: If material attracts you, sooner than later, women too would be a dominant factor in your life. And if you are chained to women, then sooner than later you will have to go after material also. That is why people start earning more aggressively and more helplessly after…

That's what self-knowledge does. It makes you a person of taste, a person of good taste. You will now not be found going after worthless people, men, women, whatever.

Human beings spend five years, seven years in courtship, knowing fully well that the objective is just one, but neither the man nor the woman—assuming it’s a man-woman relationship—would dare confess it to the other. Especially not in India. Read more....

Acharya Prashant: You are in front of food and you see how your body wants to lunge towards food. And do you know why the body wants to lunge towards food? Especially, let’s say, sweetmeats or high-calorie items? Why? – Because evolution taught it to, because the survival of the…

प्रश्नकर्ता: आचार्य जी, सेक्स (संभोग) की सामाजिक अस्वीकृति को लेकर ग्लानि का अनुभव होता है। कृपया मार्गदर्शन प्रदान करें।

आचार्य प्रशांत: अगर तुमको लाज ही आती है, शर्म ही आती है, तुममें अपराध भाव ही उठता है, तो अपराध भाव तुममें उठना चाहिए तब, जब तुम किसी का इस्तेमाल देह…

प्रश्नकर्ता: इंटरनेट से एक बहुत लम्बे समय तक मेरा कोई विशेष लगाव नहीं था। यूट्यूब भी मैंने तभी देखना शुरू किया जब आपको सुनने की आदत लगी है आपके कारण ही मैंने इंटरनेट पर ज़्यादा समय बिताना शुरू किया, पर अब ये हो गया है कि इंटरनेट पर मैं आता…

प्रश्नकर्ता: मेरे पति एक ऐड इंडस्ट्री (विज्ञापन उद्योग) में काम करते हैं। तो उनका पूरा समय जवान और सुन्दर महिलाओं के साथ बीतता है। जिसके वजह से मैं बहुत स्ट्रेस (तनाव) में रहती हूँ, पजेसिव (अधिकारात्मक) हो जाती हूँ, इनसिक्योर (असुरक्षित) हो जाती हूँ। तो मैं सारे हथकंडे अपना चुकी…

Acharya Prashant: First question reads, “What are your views on sex, love and meditation?”

What exactly do you want to know? I have no views really on any of these. Neither of them is something to be thought about.

L: What is the role of meditation in realization?

AP: None…

Man is the only animal that is always sexually active. Why? Because man is the only animal who is always ambitious. Because you are constantly a seeker, because you are constantly feeling that hollow, because you are constantly feeling inferior, so you are always seeking something from the world. Always.…

You are lonely, so you go and tie a knot with someone who is as lonely as you are. Then there are mutual expectations, which obviously cannot be fulfilled because neither of you are capable of fulfilling them.

In a series of failed expectations, in a series of failed relationships,…

The fellow who watches child porn, is he really very different from a rapist? He is probably a bit cleverer but not really different. He adopts a relatively safer route. He says “I will please myself by watching the heinous act on the screen. I will be careful not to…

“You give me pleasure, I give you pleasure. And to ensure an uninterrupted and secured supply of physical pleasure, you remain physically committed to me, and I remain physically committed to you. What do I want from you? Pleasure, physical pleasure. And we are committed to each other. What does…

In your mind, you have a throne; in your mind, you have a hierarchy, and that hierarchy should be right and clear. As a young person, if sex comes to occupy a very high position in your mental hierarchy, then you will have problems. That does not mean that you…

“I have to eat to satisfy my body, so why can’t I use contraception and have sex with a woman and not procreate?”

This is such a bad analogy. They say sex is like food, both are physical needs. No sir, please! Sex is not like food. No, no, no.…

Acharya Prashant: The fundamental energy of sex is man himself, mind himself. There is the source, the core, then there is the ‘I’ tendency and then there are the various forms that the ‘I’ tendency takes. Whatever be the form that the ‘I’ tendency takes, the form is utilized for…

One may say, “I keep feeling lonely, let me get married”; or one may say, “Let me change cities and move to another place where my community or my friends live”; or one may just say, “Let me switch on the television or visit the shopping mall.” One behaves as…

“When there are so many things calling, demanding your attention, you give complete attention to the thought of sex. What happens, why are your minds so occupied with it? Because that is the way of ultimate escape, is it not? It is a way of complete self- forgetfulness. For the…

Every animal in the universe has only its designated period of mating; some mate in the winter, some mate in the summer, some mate only in the rainy season. Dogs mate only in their designated months. Man is the only creature that fucks the entire year-round. That is the quality…

Questioner (Q) Pranam, Acharya Ji.

Acharya Prashant (AP): Have you fulfilled my condition, first of all?

Q: Yes, Yes, I went to one nightclub. I video-called Anmol Sir from there. One Saturday I went.

AP: What did you do there?

Q: I was just sitting, and had one orange juice,…

You must know what the place of security and money and sex is in your life. If you don’t know their right places, then for the purpose of sex you will give somebody a high position in your life, and then you will suffer. Persons are essentially harmless; harmful is…