Loneliness

Most of us have such low tolerance for loneliness that we fill it up with crap. Either the wrong kind of job, or beliefs, or person. Loneliness is a gift because it gives you the opportunity and the freedom to go for the best. “I’m lonely,” means “I have the opportunity.” And the opportunities are available throughout life. Do you want to give that up?

Loneliness and Love

13 min

Questioner: I have a question on an excerpt from you.

“Aloneness is not about being free of others and living without others. Aloneness is to live without oneself. Aloneness does not have much to do with the so-called others; aloneness has everything to do with the one called oneself.”

I’d… read_more

How to Overcome Loneliness?

You are lonely, so you go and tie a knot with someone because you are not alright with yourself. One does not like looking at oneself. It is rare when the ego acknowledges that it is an idiot, but it does sometime happen that one looks at oneself. And when one starts looking at oneself, it’s a new thing that is happening because what one sees is worthless, but the seeing is not worthless. And then, one reaches the state of aloneness where one doesn’t hate oneself so much anymore.

How to Deal With Loneliness?

Research has shown that loneliness is found throughout the society, including among people in marriages along with other strong relationships, and those with successful careers. As a subjective emotion, people experience loneliness even when surrounded by other people.

Understanding Solitude: A World Apart from Loneliness

17 min

“Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it grasps the heart and makes it ache with sorrow. Solitude is the ally of sorrow as well as a companion of spiritual exaltation.”

-Kahlil Gibran (The Broken Wings)

Acharya Prashant: “Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it… read_more

Loneliness, Hurt, Conflict... || Acharya Prashant, with youth (2015)

You too feel lonely? || (2021)

Question: Why is it that I always want to remain busy? Till the time I am busy, I think that the life is normal. But as soon as I find free time of some fifteen-twenty days, I feel that I am in prison. Why does this happen?

Speaker: You sense… read_more

Questioner (Q): Sir, I want to ask regarding loneliness. Today we have all the technology available to connect to each other, we can instantly connect to people even a thousand miles away using zoom, etc. Still, we have become so lonely. Why?

Acharya Prashant (AP): See, it’s not that we… read_more

Aloneness explained

Aloneness is to see That alone; to see That alone is Love || Acharya Prashant, with youth (2013)

Questioner: What is aloneness?

Acharya Prashant: Aloneness is not being free of others and living without others. Aloneness is to live without oneself. Aloneness does not have much to do with the so-called 'others', aloneness has everything to do with the one called ‘oneself’. Others appear many, appear outside but… read_more

A great alternative to loneliness

Listener: Why do things appear different?

Speaker: The more distracted the mind is; the more it believes in diversity, the more it believes in different things to be different. Taking different things, letting your mind be subjected to differences, is what is called as chaos. Understand this clearly. Letting your… read_more

Live with your loneliness, live with your disgust || (2016)

Questioner: Acharya Ji, what is the difference between Loneliness and Aloneness?

Acharya Prashant: Simply put,

Loneliness is when you are not alright with yourself.

Loneliness is when you are just not okay with yourself.

Aloneness is when you are alright with yourself.

When you are not alright with yourself, you… read_more

2 min

Questioner (Q): Can one be lonely even while being immersed?

Acharya Prashant (AP): Yes, of course. See, it is not a question of ‘Can one be or not?’, Whatever is there, is there. It is there, now, live with it; acknowledge it. Live with it without hoping for a change… read_more

The real way to deal with dependency || IIT Bombay (2020)

12 min

Questioner: Sir, how to overcome emotional dependency and loneliness?

Acharya Prashant: First of all, there are not several types of dependencies. These types are very superficial. We might say, “I have material dependency, I have financial dependency, I have physical dependency, I have emotional dependency, I have spiritual dependency, dependency’s… read_more

Suffering is natural? ||Neem Candies

1 min

Do not start considering that suffering and restlessness and boredom and loneliness and fear are the natural modes of life. They are not. Never, never allow this belief to settle within you.

If life is boredom, loneliness and fear, that is unnatural. Just because you see a lot of sorrow… read_more

Loneliness and girls || Neem Candies

1 min

If you will go and figure out the fact of loneliness, it is the woman who is more susceptible to loneliness. Man makes merry even in the company of man. You would find a boys’ gang going all over, all around, a group of six boys having fun; but rarely… read_more

On Introversion and non-attachment

2 min

Question: Sir, Why and how when somebody is non-attached to people and things make him less compassionate or loving in the eyes of the society and when less talkative, anti-social?

Answer: Ankita,

Look at people. People know of themselves only as bodies bound in time. They think of their minds… read_more

A relation born out of loneliness will cause suffering to all || Acharya Prashant, with youth (2015)

Only right company can heal your loneliness || IIT Patna (2021)

Question : I am a slave of worldliness. I always need a company. How to get rid of this dependence?

Acharya Prashant : First of all we have to realise that what do we do to the company, and what does that company does to us?

I am feeling lonely,… read_more

An uncommon way to beat loneliness || (2019)

Questioner (Q): My question is about loneliness. There is so much technology available for social interaction these days. We can instantly connect to people from all over the world, have video meetings and such things, and then there are all the social media platforms. But in spite of having all… read_more

9 min

Questioner (Q): The question that I have for today from the reading is that it appears when one is trying to escape loneliness, reading from some spiritual books, or practicing some meditational techniques, it is also not considered the right thing to do. Could you shed some light on it?… read_more

Freedom from the compulsive need for company || (2020)

The indispensable spiritual intimacy

Questioner (Q): In the spiritual journey, it is very, very difficult to find companionship, community, or like-minded people—people you can talk to about your experiences on this journey. So, it becomes a very lonely conquest. It is obviously a very lonely conquest because eventually it is a conquest of the… read_more

Love and loneliness || Acharya Prashant (2016)

People often wonder about the effect of spirituality upon married life. Often it happens that one partner in a marriage starts moving deeper into spirituality, and this causes anxiety in the other partner. So how far do a normal marriage and Spirituality go together?

Spirituality is a movement into the … read_more

23 min

Love and loneliness will actually go together.

You see, love is forever a movement. Love is an attraction, a pull. We all feel that irresistible urge and it is so quick, spontaneous, and comes without preparation, planning or warning that we hardly have the time to know about its origins,… read_more

I feel so lonely without you! || Neem Candies

1 min

X says, “If I am with A, I want to keep A running after me because that’s what makes me feel important.” The more A tells me that “Without you I feel lonely, lonely, and lonely,” the more X feels important.

Does X sound familiar? Most people in the world… read_more

How attachment arises, and how to get rid of it? || (2013)

To help the other is to help oneself || Delhi University (2022)

Questioner (Q): What is attachment?

Acharya Prashant (AP): The way our brain is constituted, it has nothing of its own. If you ask the brain, "Who are you?" It will not be able to say anything if it has been kept in complete isolation. But the brain is never in… read_more

Suffering under peer pressure? || IIT Bombay (2022)

Questioner (Q): Sir, if we do something to make someone else happy by deceiving our own self, is it worth it?

Acharya Prashant (AP): No, you cannot make someone else happy by deceiving your own self. That kind of a thing cannot exist; that kind of a thing exists only… read_more

9 min

Questioner (Q): Man is typically a social animal who seeks to coexist with the society around him. I am a vegan but many people around me are not, and that creates a difficulty for me. I want to speak out my thoughts on animal cruelty and get into animal activism,… read_more

What is Friendship and Who is a Friend?

Friendship is nothing; friendship is a state of being in which you are concerned not with what you can get from the other person, but in the real advancement of the other person. And the real advancement is, discovering the Truth. So, a friend is a friend only if he brings you closer to the Truth; in whose presence you become less agitated, in whose presence a silence comes. Find out such friends, and then, there will be real magic.

How to Overcome Sadness?

Why do you have so much personal time? How are you available to grief? Your consciousness is too self-centered; it needs expansion. Even as you grieve over one death, billions of goats, rabbits, lambs, fish, cows, and chickens are slaughtered. Commit your time. Dedicate it to a higher purpose. We attach great sanctity to our personal lives. Give it up!

How to Bring Real Change in Oneself?

31 min

There are a million spiritual seekers who keep on practising observation and find that their lives are not changing at all. Just observing your daily life will often be of very little help. Observation of your own condition must be accompanied by exposure to something beyond yourself. Those who keep saying, 'Just observe and things will happen.' No, nothing happens just by observing. Love is needed. Love gives you the patience to wait. You require the depth of love that is prepared to wait till eternity.

How to Handle Insults?

20 min

Any kind of harm that comes to you can only come due to a lack of self-knowledge. If you do not know who you are, you will be forced to believe whatever others tell you about yourself. We don’t even realize how big a slavery that is! Every time you allow circumstances to rule you, you are actually acting like a dead object. You are alive only if you have something within that circumstances cannot touch.

J. Krishnamurti's 'The Observer Is the Observed' Explained by Acharya Prashant

'The observer is the observed; an honest observation dissolves them both.' Or, 'The observer is the observed, and both are false.' We lay a lot of emphasis on the world, assuming it to be the Truth. If the world is an entity independent of everything, then it has to be the Truth, right? Truth is that which is independent of everything.

Can Multiple Sexual Partners Fulfill You?

All your relationships are deeply your attempts to fill an inner void. Whether you relate sexually to one person or many — will sex give you what you truly want? The body is a shallow means to attain that which your consciousness craves. There are beautiful ways of relating to men and women; relate to them in higher ways.

Why Do Partners Cheat?

20 min

Marriage founded on the body alone is bound to suffer from cheating, as one body can never satisfy anyone. Your association with the other person should be based on love, friendship, and inner fulfillment, not the body. If you are physical and bodily, no loyalty is possible. Loyalty is fundamentally spiritual.

How Do I Retain This Beautiful Silence?

Silence is not just the absence of sound. Sound has its utility. Let there be a lot of sound and yet let there be silence and that silence is not cultivated through discipline. It is just a matter of the mind being aware of anything outside it but also of itself.

How to Deal With Anxiety?

If the kid has come to believe that the world is everything, how will there remain an untouched point within? If you allow the world to rule here, then there arises a bewildering dichotomy. Your heart must be a place of serenity and stability. Whereas, if the world manages to penetrate your heart, your heart becomes a place of all kinds of fickleness. It is this dichotomy that pushes you into stress, tension, anxiety and other related stuff, that constitute the entire spectrum.

When You are Alright, then the Sound of Your Footsteps Is Compassion

9 min

When you are not bothered about the other, that is when you are totally compassionate. When you are not trying to change the other, that is when you become an agent of change. Compassion is not about thinking all the time of others. You cannot try to be compassionate. When you are alright, then the sound of your footsteps is compassion. That is what compassion is.

How Do I Really Know Somebody?

Because we all carry identities wherever we go, from these identities come ready-made opinions, and these opinions never allow us to look at the truth. We have no understanding of who we are, and all over, self-knowledge is limited to these identities that have been handed over to us by the environment, by others, by parents, by society, by education, by others, and it’s a very funny situation. You are unable to know the reality because you are determined not to know the reality.

What Does Equanimity Mean in Life?

12 min

When you know that you can not be harmed, then you let the change come to you. Then, you do not lose your inner poise in front of changing conditions. This is equanimity. For equanimity, you require a very good driver, a totally dependable driver. Our driver is the Ego. It does not allow the Absolute to drive us. The Ego is so arrogant that it goes and sits on the throne, the sacred place, that is reserved only for the Beloved, only for God. It has no right to be there. Dethrone it!

Stop Calling These as Scriptures

A scripture is a book that tells you about yourself. A scripture has to deal essentially with self-knowledge. A book that talks of dietary choices cannot be called a scripture. A person who talks of the kind of things you must eat to enhance your health and such things cannot be called a Guru. Shastra is what deals with self-knowledge; a guru is one who encourages self-knowledge in you.

How to Get Rid of Pain and Suffering?

17 min

If you are suffering, all that you need to be told is that freedom from disease is possible. No positive, affirmative statement needs to be given. If you are really crying out of pain, do you need to be given dreams of the pink of health? No, You only need to be assured that this pain is not your nature, and that is all.

Live-in Relationship or Marriage?

There is not much difference between a live-in relationship and marriage. When you are living with somebody, that person gains enormous power to affect your life in all kinds of ways, and you too gain that power. You cannot do justice to that responsibility if you are not a spiritually evolved person. Be very, very conscious of your personal space. It is sacred; not everybody must be allowed to enter it.

How to Handle Disagreement in Relationships?

Whenever disagreement arises, don’t see it as something unwanted. A conflict of opinions can help broaden one’s perspective, provided the intention is to reach the fact. Most often, however, the intention is to defend one’s position, which is driven by ego. Talk and don’t take it personally. If you don’t know how to interact—even with the best of people—you won’t grow. You must know what to take and what to totally ignore.

Sad and Depressing: Living Without Knowing The Self

Ours is the situation of a man who trades everything away and gets nothing in return; double depression, double debit. Without realizing that Truth must be the number one priority, we very easily dispense it away. Depression means – the height is unknown to you. The only height is the Core, the Essence, the Self. The one who is not connected to the One Truth will always feel depressed, will always feel down.

Trouble or Just a Story?

It is not events, but the meanings that you hold of them that agitate you. A great happening in the world that you do not take to be related to yourself, does it bother you greatly? It doesn’t because you do not enforce the ‘outer equals inner’ rule in such cases. But the moment you bring about, bring in that dangerous equation, that dubious identity, ‘outer is inner,’ that is the moment you start shivering and panicking. We decide our triggers, they don’t just happen.

Are You in a Right Relationship?

12 min

There are only two kinds of relationships that are right in this world. If you connect with someone at a higher level of consciousness, hold their hand so they can uplift you. If you connect with someone at a lower level of consciousness, hold their hand to uplift them. Any other kind of relationship is junk.

How to Save Your Relationship?

Relationships get spoiled when people cling to each other. If you truly want heart-to-heart contact, give each other adequate space. At times, disappear from each other’s lives—go on a vacation alone. Then, when you vacation with your partner, it will be delightful. We all need space, and only a free mind has the right and the capacity to love.

Does Self-Help Really Help?

Self-help doesn't help. Its approach is, “I am sad as my desires are not fulfilled, so the way to help myself is to fulfill desires.” They never realize their lives are driven by biological, social, and cultural forces outside of themselves. Spirituality offers the only real solution: “Before helping the self, one must know what the self really is."

The Great Power That 'Om' Points To

In the Upanishads, "Om" is used as a powerful symbol of transcendence. It consists of three sounds: "A", "U" and "M". These correspond to the three states of consciousness. "Om" begins where one currently is—obviously, there can be no other place to begin with. You can only begin from where you are. So "Om' begins with "A", which is your current state of consciousness.

How to Overcome Restlessness?

Restlessness lives on the promise that, eventually, I will find rest somewhere. There is no great future waiting for you. If you are lonely right now, lonely is what you are, and no great company is waiting for you in the future. You have nothing except what you think you have right now. This is it. When you see this, you enter into rest right now!

Dealing with a chronic medical condition