Attraction

Questioner: I was in a relationship with a person from the last eight years. Last three years while being with me, he was also seeing and dating other women. I have always been honest and loyal to him. After knowing that he is so mean, so dishonest, why am I… read_more

Acharya Prashant: Women like burly guys. Why do they like burly and big and muscular guys? Because they are likely to have a higher level of testosterone. Unless you have testosterone, you cannot build muscles, right? And that is why you cannot build muscles, let's say after 50 or 60.… read_more

Acharya Prashant: The punishment for not having a girlfriend is that you will keep fantasizing about girls. Does that not happen? Who are the ones who always keep salivating? The singles. And you meet someone who is in a relationship, he won't want to look at girls or boys, for… read_more

Questioner: What is the role of persuasion in teaching? Is it alright if teaching involves a certain degree of persuasion? If yes, why must one be persuaded?

Acharya Prashant: Freedom is available only to a free mind. A mind that has been conditioned, deeply enslaved, moves from no other factor… read_more

Questioner 1: There's one thing that I feel that should be discussed is the true purpose of life. We all talk about it a lot. We all hear it a lot. But what do you think is the true purpose of life, and how does someone who is 20 years… read_more

Acharya Prashant: ‘Law of attraction’, all such stuff is based on the premise that you know what is worthy enough to be attracted to. Who are you to know that? Do you really know that? And if you really knew that, would you really want to attract something? Wouldn't you… read_more

Questioner (Q): Today we read that loneliness is love and in aloneness, love is gone; only the beloved remains. Doesn’t this boil down to self-love? Is aloneness and self-love different?

Acharya Prashant (AP): Love is not blind. And you cannot love nonsense. To help something is one thing, to purify… read_more

If a drunkard were to use the law of attraction, what would he deem suitable to attract to himself? A huge truckload of beer. He would keep fantasizing of beer companies and such things, and maybe that materializes also. And if that materializes, it is even worse for the drunkard,… read_more

Questioner (Q): Acharya Ji, there are different planes of love possible – mental, spiritual, physical. But somehow, to me, they seem different. It may be because that I have been raised this way that I intertwine these two – mental and physical plane. And that is how I come to… read_more

Listener: What is an attraction?

Acharya Prashant : At least this much should be very clear. We see instances of attraction, every moment, all the time around us. There is the game of attraction going on. So somebody bangs the door, and your mind gets attracted towards that. It is… read_more

Gynaecology is psychology. Where else does the whole thing come from? And it’s not as if I am talking exclusively of women; with the men it’s just the same.

This entire body is just genitals expressing themselves in various forms. One part of genitals you call as genitals; the other… read_more

The evil can consume you in two ways. One is, you look at evil and you find it beautiful. Some people do; they are captivated by the sheer charm of evil. Aren’t the dons in the movies sometimes very charming? In fact, the most charming characters in the movies in… read_more

When the woman is not in front of you, do you keep fantasizing about her all the time? This is mental illness. Only if you are indulging in all kinds of sexual fantasies and inner perversion will you jump upon her at the first sight. Otherwise, there is hardly anything… read_more

Men and women are different; their biologies make them different. But what we have is a hyper genderization, a hyper sexualization. The differences are there, but little. Society has hyper-inflated those differences. The woman has been turned into a hyper-woman, and the man has been turned into a hyper-man. And… read_more

I am saying this as a friend of the woman. I am asking her, why is the male sight or the male gaze so important to you? If you want attention from people, if you want respect from people, why can’t it be for higher reasons? Why do you want… read_more

If you take yourself as primarily physical, then beauty too for you would be something just physical. You will look at the woman most capable of successfully reproducing. That’s the prakritik definition of beauty.

The first thing that comes to mind is flowers. What are flowers? Flowers are the reproductive… read_more

It is not so much about attracting somebody beautiful to yourself or about obtaining a beautiful mate in your life. It is more about knowing what beauty really is. Depending on your definition of beauty, you will choose your relationships, you will choose everything in life. Because life, in one… read_more

The quality of your love depends on the quality of your life. Your love affair cannot be a sublime thing if your life is mired in littleness.

We all want our love affairs to be fairytales, and we don’t look at our lives. We are little people—afraid, desirous, ambitious, suspicious.… read_more

If a woman is good and fine, then her lover or husband would spoil her. Women must be honored for her intelligence, her qualities, for her inner strength. But when you start giving her importance for reasons like, her body is attractive and she is very sexually appealing, then you… read_more

Women like burly guys—and why do they like burly, big, and muscular guys? Because they are likely to have higher levels of testosterone. Unless you have testosterone, you cannot build muscles; you know that, right? And that is why you cannot build muscles, let’s say, after fifty or sixty. It’s… read_more

I understand, we live in a society, we are related to each other, we will have something to do with the other. You will always have some relationship with the other. But why can’t that relationship be on healthier grounds? Why must the two be related because they appreciate each… read_more

False love is very lucrative, very charming. Oh, there is such a romance around it! But then, that romance is hardly love.

Real love tests. Real love stretches, breaks. Real love is like a sculptor carving a beautiful one out of an unseemly rock. The rock must go through and… read_more

You do not need to wait for your encounters with women to know whether or not you are sexually motivated. Just see whether leather seats attract you. Just see whether furniture and garments and carpets and upholstery and wall-hangings and curtains and sofa sets attract you. Just see whether you… read_more

Real love is always tough. False love is very lucrative, very charming—oh, there is such a romance around it. But then, that romance is hardly love.

Real love tests. Real love stretches, breaks. Real love is like a sculptor carving a beautiful one out of an unseemly rock. The rock… read_more

If you are someone who is a serial relater—one relationship after the other or several relationships at a time, whatever, it is one and the same thing really—you must tell yourself that you really have not a physical but a spiritual urge. And therefore, you should stop your mad, nonsensical… read_more

Acharya Prashant: The Upanishad is saying, “Be very, very cautious of the one you take as your god. Be very, very cautious of the one you feel pulled towards. Be extremely cautious of the one you are attracted and attached to. You will become that. You have no option.”

When… read_more

Questioner: Acharya Ji, whenever any conflict arises between myself and the ones I am attached to, why does it hurt me?

Acharya Prashant: It is because we don’t comprehend the nature of duality, so we want to have one side of duality while trying to avoid the other side. And… read_more

Hold on. There will be temptations; old habits, old environments will beckon you, but stand still and strong. Don’t give up. It’s a battle worth fighting and worth winning. Don’t lose this one.

If you can win this one, then in all the forthcoming battles of life victory is guaranteed.… read_more

You are saying that you step out and you look at the opposite sex and feel attracted, and you are calling it a problem. To deal with the problem, first of all, there must be a problem. The man is charming—how is that a problem? The woman is beautiful and… read_more

Questioner (Q): What is the difference between attachment and Love ?

Acharya Prashant (AP): There is a Story about a woman, a rural woman, an illiterate woman, who did not know how to read. So, she was in her village and her lover was a soldier, serving in some far… read_more

Questioner (Q): What is attachment?

Acharya Prashant (AP): The way our brain is constituted, it has nothing of its own. If you ask the brain, "Who are you?" It will not be able to say anything if it has been kept in complete isolation. But the brain is never in… read_more

Acharya Prashant: The more you are capable of aloneness, the more you are capable of love. It is a paradox, but go into it.

Meet as you meet a lover. Don’t take the other for granted. Don’t expect that the other would answer the doorbell. Don’t expect that the other… read_more

Questioner: Thank you for meeting with me again, Acharya Ji! I have a question.

Every time I see an attractive woman, I’m gonna feel the impulse to drop everything and look at her.

Men’s headspace is occupied with conquering women. Can I train myself out of it?

But I have… read_more

Acharya Prashant: A fly comes and sits on my arm here (pointing towards the arm), I reject it, I discard it – Is the game over? Is she not ever going to return? Why? Because I discarded the fly and not my arm, so irrespective of how strong your resistance… read_more

Questioner: Is it possible to live without a target in life? I set a target for myself so that I have something to strive for, so that I have a sense of direction, but the thought of not achieving this target also brings sorrow and fear. So how can a… read_more

Questioner: Due to my conditioning and fear, mind tries to perceive some ‘thing’ to surrender to. This stops me from actually surrendering. With this conflict, how to understand if there is any movement towards the centre, or is it all at the periphery?

Acharya Prashant: The inner and the outer… read_more

Acharya Prashant: Love is the fire that melts down the bondage that is you. Knowledge is merely the light in which you can see your bondages. Even if you are able to look at your chains in the light of knowledge, that does not rid you of the chains. In… read_more

Questioner: Namaskar Acharya ji! I am reading a book called “Freedom from the Known”, where the author, Jiddu Krishnamurthi, talks about removing authority to be free from the ego. What does he mean by authority? Can we take anything to be the authority and then say, “I’m not going to… read_more

Questioner: (Reads out the following)

If you love, love openly

Twenty monks and one nun, who was named Eshun, were practicing meditation with a certain Zen master.

Eshun was very pretty even though her head was shaved and her dress plain. Several monks secretly fell in love with her.

One … read_more

Acharya Prashant: What if you were never, never trained in womanhood? How would you live? You can’t even think because right now, every bit of you is a trained bit. How do you know that a woman must have long hair? How do you know? That’s how it is! Nine… read_more

Questioner: Namaskar Acharya ji. Acharya ji, I have been listening to you for quite some time now, and one thing that I have noticed is that whenever you speak on any topic, you always speak in the light of Advait Vedant. One thing also on which you have spoken a… read_more

Acharya Prashant: Pleasing oneself is not at all an example of self-love; if at all, it is an example of lack of self-knowledge. You cannot have self-love without self-knowledge; it is a great misconception that must be cleared very very thoroughly, very very finely. Making yourself happy is not at… read_more