How Can a 20-Year-Old Find the Purpose of Life?
Questioner 1: There's one thing that I feel that should be discussed is the true purpose of life. We all talk about it a lot. We all hear it a lot. But what do you think is the true purpose of life, and how does someone who is 20 years old discover his own true purpose? Like, what is the way for them to discover their true purpose? And for that, I have a quote too, from Victor Frankel.
He used to say, "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life, he can only respond by being responsible."
So, can you please expand on one of his quotes and how to find the true purpose of life for a youngster?
Acharya Prashant: You see, you cannot ask for something called the true purpose while being simultaneously and stubbornly invested in all kinds of blind purposes. Maybe the true purpose of life is just to get rid of all the false purposes. Maybe that's what you were born for. Maybe the moment you were born, you were already handed over a lot of false purposes.
Plus, the potential to accumulate even more false purposes. That's what your condition was the moment you were born. When you are an infant, are you purposeless? Ever seen an infant? Is the infant purposeless? Even as a very little baby, you still have a purpose or many purposes.
"I want the right temperature. I want the right humidity. I want my feed very regularly and at the right time. The room should be neither too dark nor too bright. I want a few people around me. At the same time, I don't like crowds. And if I spoil my little pants or the diaper, I want somebody to quickly provide me with hygiene services.
You already have purposes, and all these purposes relate to the body, don't they? Think of these. Do these purposes really change as you grow up? No, they don’t. You already have purposes, and you have the potential to gather more purposes that are nothing but the old biological purposes amplified in a social way.
The kid loves its territory, does it not? Think of a kid or think of an animal. Think of a pup or kitten. They love their territory, don't they? How many of you have pups or kittens or some experience with them? If you have two of them, they know their areas. And if the other squats in their area, see how violent they get.
Now, how is that very different from the adult zest, the adult desperation to have a house? A house that you could call your own. And when you were growing up you probably had your room, and your brother had a room. And once you reach a certain age, siblings are put into separate rooms. And did you really enjoy it if your brother intruded and messed up with your room? You retaliated. You said, "Fine, and see what I can do."
How is that very different from the very biological urge of a human baby or an animal to protect its space, its territory? And then, food. See how the baby yells if it does not get food at the right time, and the baby can get really violent. It does not care for the mother's comfort. It's 3 AM. The mother is very tired and somehow, she has managed to fall asleep. What does the baby do? Does the baby display compassion? Does the baby say, "I'll hold my hunger till 6 AM at least? Let Mumma relax."
Does the baby say that? What does it do? The baby says, "My hunger is more important than her comfort. It does not matter whether she is mother, or father, or whosoever she is. If I am hungry, I am hungry." And that hunger relates to body identification. "I want food at any cost. Even if it does something terrible to the mother, I must have food." Right?
Is that not what grownups keep doing their entire life? It's just that the diversity in food increases. The kid simply wants milk. Adults say we want all kinds of dishes when it comes to the stomach, and we also want mental food. All kinds of things that fill up not only the stomach but also the mind. And just as the kid says, "I must have the food irrespective of what it does to the other; even if it includes violence, I will have what I want."
Similarly, adults keep saying, "If I want something that fills me up either psychologically or physically, I'll have it even if I have to kill the entire humanity. So, you have purposes. We are created with inbuilt purposes." There is an A-priori purpose even before your birth.
Now, you see what is the purpose of life? Get rid of all these nonsensical purposes. Just because you are born, you haven't become human. The kid can hardly be called human. You have to become human by discarding all those purposes embedded in your hardware. And society, when it brings you up, praises you, educates you, does very little to relieve you of those biological purposes. It simply builds on them. In that way, it amplifies those biological purposes.
The kid is competitive, is it not? The kid is violent. The kid is selfish. The kid has very little realization, and society just teaches you how to satisfy your violent and competitive nature. This is what you call a success, and everybody wants to be successful, right? This that you call a success, is this not something, if you truly look into it, that is arising from our biological core?
What does being successful mean? It's basically a kind of domination that you have over others. Now, don't talk about the success of an Einstein or a Gautam Buddha, or a Krishna. Keep them aside. In general parlance, when you talk of success, what do you mean? "I am better than the others. I have power over others." If you have only as much as everybody else has, would you call yourself successful?
Success, you see, therefore, is necessarily violent because you consider yourself successful only when you are ahead of forty others. So, forty others have to be put behind, left behind, defeated, subjugated, and dominated for you to be successful. And that kind of thing is already present in the kid when it is born. Competitiveness is biological. Compassion has to be taught. Attraction and attachment are biological. Love has to be taught.
Are you seeing something about the purpose of life now? What's the purpose of life? Learn to Love. Grow human. Undo your conditioning? You are born encaged. Fight hard to break free. That's the purpose of life. Otherwise, it's a very strange thing, like a prisoner in his cell, fully encaged, and he is deeply in thought.
What is the purpose of life? Can't you see? Don't you see? You are in prison, and that is exactly the purpose of life. What else? But the fellow is saying, "This is the world. These four walls are the universe, and I have to figure out where the purpose of life is within these four walls."
Sir, remaining where you are, you can have no purpose. You are imprisoned. What purpose do you want? Any purpose that you have will be within the prison? Do you like to call that a purpose? Any purpose that a prisoner will have will be within the prison. So, the only rightful purpose can be to break out. What else?
But that's not what your education or your society will ever tell you. That's a secret never to be disclosed. They will never tell you. They will tell you of all the great things within the prison. And they have raised a lot of amusing and entertaining attractive places within your cell. Within your cell, there are a lot of attractions. All within the cell. Mind you. Enough to keep you engaged all your life. So, you're born in a prison, and then you die in the prison. And you have some meditators within the prison who keep asking, what is the purpose of life?
And then there are the handcuffs, the chains, the fetters, and all the jazz. And what do you call that? You call that handcuffs? Do you?
"Nice bangles."
Now, look at that and think of what it really is. Where does it come from? Does it come from your consciousness? Really? Think of all the stuff that you are wearing on your body because I can't point at the stuff that you are wearing in your mind. I wish I could. It's very intangible. I can't show it to you right now, even if I see it. I can't show it to you. But think of all the things that you're wearing on your body. Think of where they are coming from. Think of this ring on your finger.
You think of that as something you have chosen to wear, right? Please, do you know what that means? Why is it present on you? It's present on you out of somebody else's wish, but that exactly is the definition of a handcuff. Which is present on your body not because you want it but because somebody else wants it. Is that not the definition of a handcuff?
So, if you wear that necklace, or that ring, or the amulets, or whatever it is. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that we wear internally, externally. You have to ask, "How is that different from chains?" Why? That's the purpose of life? Give it up.
Questioner 2: Good evening, Sir. So, as you said, these are all handcuffs. But if they are giving me happiness, and the one who has given me those handcuffs, it is also giving them happiness. So, why shouldn't I wear them?
Acharya Prashant: Then, why is there this question about the midlife crisis and the crash at the age of twenty? Wish they could give you happiness. All that they give you is a bubble. Don't you see that the entire discussion today, from the beginning till this point, has been about crashes? Midlife crisis, and depression, rejection, and whatnot.
Wish all the stuff that you are wearing on your wrist or on your mind could give you lasting happiness. It does not. And it is the ensuing frustration that kills, and that's what you were saying. Most people prefer to live in the proverbial fool's paradise than in the eternal truth. We want to somehow be entertained, even if we know that the entertainment is false. That's what common life is all about.
"I fully well know that I am being fooled, but I still agree with it." My question is, why must it be so? Why must you invite a lot of suffering just for a little bit of gratification? That's a peculiar feature amongst animals; that's how animals are trapped, maimed, and killed. You showed them a little bit of fodder or bait, and what do they do? They walk into it. Then, what happens to them? You know what you do to them, right?
The inability to resist instant gratification is a feature of animals. If you are a human being, you should be able to say, "No, I do not want gratification."
Gratification, you understand. What is gratification? Just sensory happiness. Pleasure. That's gratification. Animals do that. So, you show the rabbits some carrots, and the rabbits won't be able to resist them. It walks up to you, and then you just skin it alive. Otherwise, you won't be wearing all the rabbit jackets, Angora, and all those things.
Why must we behave like unconscious animals? And if you behave like animals, you will meet the fate of animals. Don't you see how easy it has been to trap animals? Why do you want to be trapped like animals? Somebody will show you some happiness, and you start following him. Is that not how all of us are trapped? No?
Nobody traps us by telling us the truth. We are trapped by those who sell us happiness. So, be very cautious when someone gives you happiness, sells you happiness, or promises you happiness. Be very cautious. You are being trapped. Happiness is the ultimate trap. You will be made happy for a while, and then after that, there will be no relief, no respite.
Once this thing gets on your wrist, you know how difficult it is to get it off. Once that thing gets on your finger, you very well know how difficult it is to….. You are young people; I hope you understand. So, before you put these things on, it's a moment of great happiness, intoxicating happiness when you are compelled to put that thing here (points to ring finger), or here (points to wrist), or here (points to neck), or here (points to forehead). Avoid! Avoid!
It's easy to get into the trap. Almost impossible to get out of it. Remember, the mouse. Think of the mouse trap. The knowers have said that the wise men look at the world, first of all, as a mouse trap or a minefield. Anytime, there can be an explosion. Anything that appears tempting and tasty can simply trap you.
