Feeling lonely on campus after being disappointed by friends? Acharya Prashant explains why loneliness should not push you into accepting the wrong company or remaining attached to relationships that pull you away from what is right. One person’s wrongdoing does not justify condemning everyone, nor does friendship mean supporting a friend in what is wrong.
Learn why the right company is the company that helps you move toward truth rather than merely giving you temporary relief from loneliness.
Question: Why is it that I always want to remain busy? Till the time I am busy, I think that the life is normal. But as soon as I find free time of some fifteen-twenty days, I feel that I am in prison. Why does this happen?
Questioner (Q): Sir, I want to ask regarding loneliness. Today we have all the technology available to connect to each other, we can instantly connect to people even a thousand miles away using zoom, etc. Still, we have become so lonely. Why?
Do not start considering that suffering and restlessness and boredom and loneliness and fear are the natural modes of life. They are not. Never, never allow this belief to settle within you.
Questioner (Q): The question that I have for today from the reading is that it appears when one is trying to escape loneliness, reading from some spiritual books, or practicing some meditational techniques, it is also not considered the right thing to do. Could you shed some light on it?
People often wonder about the effect of spirituality upon married life. Often it happens that one partner in a marriage starts moving deeper into spirituality, and this causes anxiety in the other partner. So how far do a normal marriage and Spirituality go together?
X says, “If I am with A, I want to keep A running after me because that’s what makes me feel important.” The more A tells me that “Without you I feel lonely, lonely, and lonely,” the more X feels important.
Sisyphus pushes a rock up a hill forever, knowing it will always roll back down. A regular workman does the same thing inside a job: he keeps pushing too, except he hopes it will eventually pay off, a promotion, a house, a better life. This hope is often just a comfortable lie. Sisyphus, who expects nothing and still keeps going, is actually more honest than we are. The real question is not whether the effort is worth it, but whether we can stop lying to ourselves about it.
Real love is not measured by comfort, agreement, or preserving relationships at any cost. It is revealed when one has the courage to challenge falsehood, embrace uncomfortable truths, and even risk a relationship for another's freedom and growth. Truth is not a fixed destination but a continuous rejection of illusion. Genuine relationships, mature guidance, and authentic scriptures all serve as mirrors that help us see and dissolve our own falseness.
The biggest weakness of modern education is not that it fails to keep pace with technology, but that it neglects self-knowledge. Students are trained to build identities around qualifications and careers, making them rigid in a world that demands constant change. Real adaptability, innovation, and lifelong learning come not from acquiring more skills, but from understanding oneself and letting go of fixed identities.
Humanity's greatest crisis arises from the imbalance between immense external progress and inadequate inner understanding. While technology, wealth, and knowledge have expanded unprecedentedly, unchecked desires and ignorance continue to fuel conflict, inequality, and environmental destruction. Sustainable change requires mass-based education of the self so individuals understand their motives and use science, technology, capital, and power with wisdom, responsibility, and inner clarity rather than unconscious craving.
The ego is not a real, independent entity but a bundle of conditioning that creates the illusion of a separate "I" and becomes the source of suffering. Self-observation is not introspection or analysis but moment-to-moment honesty about what is happening within. Real freedom comes when this false center is seen through, allowing life to function naturally without the burden of psychological ownership.
Life cannot be transformed by knowledge of the external world alone; it also requires understanding the one who experiences it. Science, technology, and logic are powerful, but they remain incomplete without self-knowledge and inner honesty. Lasting solutions to personal and global crises emerge when the same rigor used to study the world is turned inward, examining one's motives, intentions, and consciousness with equal seriousness.
Most people move through life unconsciously, mistaking inherited beliefs, ambitions, and social conditioning for personal choice. Careers, relationships, goals, and even identities often arise more from habit and circumstance than from conscious understanding. Real freedom begins by questioning the actor rather than the action, examining the assumptions behind one’s choices, and awakening from the psychological “coma” in which life is merely happening rather than being consciously lived.
Is loneliness really the absence of people, or the crowd of images and ideas inside us telling us that we “need someone” to feel complete? Two incomplete people cannot create wholeness together. Relationships are beautiful, but only when they do not become substitutes for inner completeness. Relate to the world, connect deeply, but never use another person to fill your inner hollowness.
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You are born with a feeling of loneliness and dependency. Even if you live till 126, you will find that loneliness still haunts you. The real way to fight this is to go to the scriptures. Once you develop the taste of being with Shri Krishna or a Mahavira, you will forget loneliness and dependency. And to make space for them, you have to evict all the nonsense that is sitting in your mind.
To be lonely is to be surrounded. Surrounded not necessarily on the outside, but surely within. Are you worried about yourself? Do memories keep haunting you? You are lonely. You are very very lonely. Who then is alone? The fellow who is alone is the one who is not with himself, just as the lonely fellow is always with himself. The fellow who is alone is rarely with himself. Because he is not with himself, he becomes available. He becomes available. Available to be with that which is.
Most of us have such low tolerance for loneliness that we fill it up with crap. Either the wrong kind of job, or beliefs, or person. Loneliness is a gift because it gives you the opportunity and the freedom to go for the best. “I’m lonely,” means “I have the opportunity.” And the opportunities are available throughout life. Do you want to give that up?
Excerpts from Articles
Stuck Between Job Security and Your Real Passion?
Struggling to choose between a secure job and the path you actually feel drawn to? This isn't really a question about careers. It's about why other people's opinions have so much power over you in the first place. Real clarity doesn't come from finding the 'right' choice. It comes from honestly looking at your own fear, again and again, until it stops running the decision for you.
Justice Without Boundaries: Why Compassion Cannot Stop at Species
Oppression should not see caste, gender, creed or colour, and it should not see species either. The moral threshold is sentience, not intelligence. An animal feels pain as fully as a human does, whether or not it can explain its suffering.
ज्योतिष कितना सच है? कुंडली, ग्रह-नक्षत्र: इनका क्या अर्थ है?
वेदांत को केवल इसलिए सही या श्रेष्ठ नहीं माना जा सकता कि वह किसी विशेष परंपरा से आता है। विज्ञान जहाँ भौतिक जगत की वस्तुनिष्ठ जाँच करता है, वहीं अद्वैत वेदांत सीधे मनुष्य के ‘मैं’, उसके दुख, बंधन और मुक्ति की पड़ताल करता है। इसकी कसौटी वैज्ञानिक प्रमाण नहीं, बल्कि अपने जीवन में इसकी सच्चाई को देख पाना है। किसी दर्शन को मान लेना नहीं, बल्कि उससे स्वयं को मुक्त करना ही उसका वास्तविक उद्देश्य है।
Climate change is more than an environmental crisis—it is a crisis of human choices. Our patterns of consumption, consumerism and endless pursuit of more are putting increasing pressure on the planet. But meaningful change does not necessarily begin with new technology or stricter policies. It begins with a deeper question: what are we willing to change within ourselves?
कई तरह के डर—अकेले पड़ने, छवि खोने या छोटा समझे जाने—की जड़ अक्सर अतीत में बनी पहचान और कहानियों में होती है। शरीर की हाइट जैसी चीज़ों को समस्या मानकर उनसे जूझने के बजाय उनकी अप्रासंगिकता को समझकर आगे बढ़ना चाहिए। अतीत को दबाने से मुक्ति नहीं मिलती; उसके करीब जाकर अपनी स्मृतियों, धारणाओं और पुराने पैटर्न को निष्पक्षता से देखना ज़रूरी है।
Questioner: I have a question on an excerpt from you.
“Aloneness is not about being free of others and living without others. Aloneness is to live without oneself. Aloneness does not have much to do with the so-called others; aloneness has everything to do with the one called oneself.”
I’d…
You are lonely, so you go and tie a knot with someone because you are not alright with yourself. One does not like looking at oneself. It is rare when the ego acknowledges that it is an idiot, but it does sometime happen that one looks at oneself. And when one starts looking at oneself, it’s a new thing that is happening because what one sees is worthless, but the seeing is not worthless. And then, one reaches the state of aloneness where one doesn’t hate oneself so much anymore.
Research has shown that loneliness is found throughout the society, including among people in marriages along with other strong relationships, and those with successful careers. As a subjective emotion, people experience loneliness even when surrounded by other people.
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“Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it grasps the heart and makes it ache with sorrow. Solitude is the ally of sorrow as well as a companion of spiritual exaltation.”
-Kahlil Gibran (The Broken Wings)
Acharya Prashant: “Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it…
Speaker: You sense…
Acharya Prashant (AP): See, it’s not that we…
Questioner: What is aloneness?
Acharya Prashant: Aloneness is not being free of others and living without others. Aloneness is to live without oneself. Aloneness does not have much to do with the so-called 'others', aloneness has everything to do with the one called ‘oneself’. Others appear many, appear outside but…
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Listener: Why do things appear different?
Speaker: The more distracted the mind is; the more it believes in diversity, the more it believes in different things to be different. Taking different things, letting your mind be subjected to differences, is what is called as chaos. Understand this clearly. Letting your…
Questioner: Acharya Ji, what is the difference between Loneliness and Aloneness?
Acharya Prashant: Simply put,
Loneliness is when you are not alright with yourself.
Loneliness is when you are just not okay with yourself.
Aloneness is when you are alright with yourself.
When you are not alright with yourself, you…
Acharya Prashant (AP):
Yes, of course. See, it is not a question of ‘Can one be or not?’, Whatever is there, is there. It is there, now, live with it; acknowledge it. Live with it without hoping for a change
…
If life is boredom, loneliness and fear, that is unnatural. Just because you see a lot of sorrow…
If you will go and figure out the fact of loneliness, it is the woman who is more susceptible to loneliness. Man makes merry even in the company of man. You would find a boys’ gang going all over, all around, a group of six boys having fun; but rarely…
Question: Sir, Why and how when somebody is non-attached to people and things make him less compassionate or loving in the eyes of the society and when less talkative, anti-social?
Answer: Ankita,
Look at people. People know of themselves only as bodies bound in time. They think of their minds…
Question
: I am a slave of worldliness. I always need a company. How to get rid of this dependence?
Acharya Prashant: First of all we have to realise that what do we do to the company, and what does that company does to us?
I am feeling lonely,…
Questioner (Q):
My question is about loneliness. There is so much technology available for social interaction these days. We can instantly connect to people from all over the world, have video meetings and such things, and then there are all the social media platforms. But in spite of having all
…
…
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Questioner (Q): In the spiritual journey, it is very, very difficult to find companionship, community, or like-minded people—people you can talk to about your experiences on this journey. So, it becomes a very lonely conquest. It is obviously a very lonely conquest because eventually it is a conquest of the…
Spirituality is a movement into the…
Love and loneliness will actually go together.
You see, love is forever a movement. Love is an attraction, a pull. We all feel that irresistible urge and it is so quick, spontaneous, and comes without preparation, planning or warning that we hardly have the time to know about its origins,…
Does X sound familiar? Most people in the world…
Acharya Prashant (AP):
The way our brain is constituted, it has nothing of its own. If you ask the brain, "Who are you?" It will not be able to say anything if it has been kept in complete isolation. But the brain is never in
…
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वेदांत को केवल इसलिए सही या श्रेष्ठ नहीं माना जा सकता कि वह किसी विशेष परंपरा से आता है। विज्ञान जहाँ भौतिक जगत की वस्तुनिष्ठ जाँच करता है, वहीं अद्वैत वेदांत सीधे मनुष्य के ‘मैं’, उसके दुख, बंधन और मुक्ति की पड़ताल करता है। इसकी कसौटी वैज्ञानिक प्रमाण नहीं, बल्कि अपने जीवन में इसकी सच्चाई को देख पाना है। किसी दर्शन को मान लेना नहीं, बल्कि उससे स्वयं को मुक्त करना ही उसका वास्तविक उद्देश्य है।
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Knowledge alone cannot transform life; it can become another object of the ego. True knowledge is self-knowledge—a mirror that exposes and destroys false ideas about oneself. Ravana may have been knowledgeable, but without self-knowledge, knowledge can become a tool for exploitation. Wisdom is not something to acquire; it is innate. Self-knowledge is the process of unbecoming unwise by clearing away the nonsense we have gathered.
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Question: Why do I feel lost?
Acharya Prashant: Because, you are asking this question.
We ‘think’ that we are lost, equally, we ‘think’ that we are not lost. The same place from where the thought, the perception of being lost, or not lost arises, that place is the same place…
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Friendships naturally change as people follow different paths in life. When you remain focused on your true purpose, you stop clinging to those who only accompany you briefly. Instead of dwelling on memories or fearing others' intentions, examine your own expectations and self-deception first. Honest self-awareness brings clarity, wiser relationships, and the freedom to move forward without resentment or attachment.
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Superstition does not begin with rituals alone; it begins with unquestioned beliefs about the self. Science can remove many false beliefs, but complete freedom requires Self-knowledge. Vedanta, philosophy and meditation help expose the ego, making awakening possible. Religion becomes meaningful only when it encourages Self-knowledge rather than blind belief. Real freedom comes not from accepting inherited ideas but from understanding oneself through direct observation and awareness.
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Materialism and emotionality are not opposites; emotions themselves often arise from material desires, fears, and biological conditioning. The real distinction is between the material-emotional world and spiritual understanding. Spirituality is not another belief, emotion, or acquisition but the clear observation of thoughts, desires, and assumptions. Many personal and social crises stem from unexamined beliefs, and meaningful change begins by questioning them, speaking truthfully, and paying attention to what occupies the mind.
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Gen Z isn't rebellious or individualistic - they're simply following their generation's conditioning, just as previous generations followed theirs. Real rebellion begins with honest inquiry into why you live as you do. The primitive restlessness driving all humans remains unchanged; only its expression differs. True freedom requires questioning borrowed desires, recognizing that your ambitions, tastes, and choices aren't genuinely yours. Vedanta teaches this: stop chasing false questions and confront who you actually are beneath all conditioning.
Acharya Prashant:
There is nobody who does not recognises
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Everybody recognises. They just don’t speak about it, it’s a secret. It’s a well kept secret. If you speak about it you will be ostracized.
L1: Because you are then a threat…
Why am I so attracted to the personality and mannerisms of all my teachers, often curious about their lives than the truth of their teachings? When I read Jiddu Krishnamurti(JK), am I conditioned by him? Is JK’s method really ‘via negativa’ all the time?
…
What do you call as ‘bipolar disorder’? Is this disorder fundamentally not present in everybody? Mind lives in dualities; that is what you call as the ‘poles’. Sitting on one pole you feel attracted to the other. There is always a need to change and become something else. Won’t it be great to firstly understand the mind itself–its urges, its actions? There has to be determination to go into the route of the swings, desires and urges, to be free and well. And it is quite possible that the right medication need not be a pill.
I am asking you, who is more important? The mobile phone or the man holding the mobile phone more important? Unfortunately, your education is such that it will tell you everything about the mobile phone, but nothing about the man. They ask you to keep looking outwards but they never tell you to look inwards. Self-education is more valuable than the rest of your education put together. Has your education ever brought you close to yourself? Now you decide what is more important.
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You have to get into your own life, thoughts, feelings, actions, decisions, and see what holds you back. And freedom from what holds you back is the most important. That is what is most important. And then you can accept whatever price you have to pay for that most important thing. So it all starts from you. what is really important is a subjective thing. It depends on you. Nobody else can tell it.
Guilt says, “I am better than how and what I did.” Right? There need not be any imagination in this. Far better than guilt is the realization of one’s actual state. And once you realize where your choices and decisions have brought you, there is a certain sublimation. That honest realization does not shout too loudly, but it has great power. For that power to arise, you first have to acknowledge where you really are.
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Most of us look outwards for reasons of security, of prestige, because we want to have career progress, or because we are just curious and we do not even know what’s behind the curiosity. And then there are those who want to know the curious one itself. If there is no conscious point behind your choices or actions, then the default point is biology. The other center is when you are coming from an illuminated point that wants to know, not because it does not know why it wants to know, but because it is interested in knowing, and therefore the knower itself.
I am being told to work hard, but not for myself. I am being told to slog for something I don’t really care for. This is the situation of each one of us: no purpose and high pressure. The very system is designed to rob you of having any innate, heartfelt purpose of your own. Pressure alone is not the problem. The very nature of a great purpose is that it brings pressure, but such pressure now is life-saving, even life-giving, because you love what you want to achieve.
We keep carrying the unexamined burden of the past all our life. That’s a great problem that we have. If you want to carry something from the past, if you want to remain related to it even today, then you have to ask: how does it benefit you? Because it’s an expensive decision to make. The purpose of life is to unburden yourself. Relate to something or somebody in a way that will help you clear away a lot of useless relationships.
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It’s a great thing not to be submissive to authority. One doesn’t needlessly bow down, because that would be detrimental to one’s interests. So, it’s all right if you are careful. But being careful is one thing, and becoming psychotic about that is another thing. Obviously, let’s try on one’s own first. But we all know how limited we are beyond a point. And when we come to that point, one needs to look beyond herself, that one needs to seek help.
