You are lonely, so you go and tie a knot with someone because you are not alright with yourself. One does not like looking at oneself. It is rare when the ego acknowledges that it is an idiot, but it does sometime happen that one looks at oneself. And when one starts looking at oneself, it’s a new thing that is happening because what one sees is worthless, but the seeing is not worthless. And then, one reaches the state of aloneness where one doesn’t hate oneself so much anymore.
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Questioner: Acharya Ji, what is the difference between loneliness and aloneness?
Acharya Prashant: Simply put, loneliness is when you are not alright with yourself. Loneliness is when you are just not okay with yourself. Aloneness is when you are alright with yourself. When you’re not alright with yourself, obviously, you will seek an alternative to your company. I’m not okay with myself. So, what will I need? I’ll need somebody else to be with. That’s the state of the lonely person.
His self is the ego, and the ego lives in great contradictions, therefore, great conflict. The ego does not really like itself. The ego labels itself as unworthy and incomplete. Therefore, the ego cannot just be with itself and feel fine. The ego must necessarily reach out to the world and want a companion.
Can there be somebody to relate to? Can there be somebody to sit with, fill myself up with, form a bond with? Can there be somebody else I can look at? Because if I look at myself, all I see is nonsense. Worse still, if I continue looking at myself, then I see that I am false and I don’t exist. So, I don’t want to look at myself.
