Is loneliness really the absence of people, or the crowd of images and ideas inside us telling us that we “need someone” to feel complete? Two incomplete people cannot create wholeness together. Relationships are beautiful, but only when they do not become substitutes for inner completeness. Relate to the world, connect deeply, but never use another person to fill your inner hollowness.
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Questioner: Good evening, Acharya Ji. I am Mohammed Arman, and I'm a first-year MST student. So my question is not very philosophical, rather a practical one, because during my prep year I was in complete isolation from friends and somewhat from family itself. I got focused, but when things didn't work out the way I wanted them to work out, it broke my core beliefs. It shook my self-confidence. So I feel socializing should be one of the things I should focus on.
Now that I'm here at BITS, the college I wanted, in a branch I wanted, I feel like I should lock in on my goals, you know, just get in the room, get on the books, but I'm hesitant to go back into that deep isolation which I used to do, because it feels heavy. I know how heavy it is when you stumble without support. So in my own field I see I greatly admire Newton, who strived in isolation, but I'm also a fan of Richard Feynman, who was a great socialist, who used to socialize with people quite a lot. How do I choose which is my path? Especially, after taking that decision, how do I accept that this is my path of life and I should stick with it?
Acharya Prashant: See, the world is made of others, right? That's the normal experience, a dualistic one. There is you and there are others. So there's no harm in interacting with others, relating to others, keeping company, all that is fine, provided one is discrete enough. Provided one is discrete enough. If you are with a person whose company fills you with random ideas of identity, obviously that person is not for you. If a fellow is just as lonely as you are, then probably the fellow is just as ignorant as you are. By "you," I don't mean you. How will the company of that person help?
