How to Fight Our Inner Conditioning?
Questioner: Acharya Ji, pranam. Going by my own mental state, I am seeing that two bodily conditionings are afflicting me. One is the food, I am too much attached to the tasty food, though I am trying to observe why I am attached to these, waiting for taking, intake of the food, resisting, still attraction is there. Though it has come down, but, it is there.
And the other intrinsic bodily conditioning is the attraction towards the opposite sex. Though it is very down from my beginning, when I joined you in 2019, intensity is very less. But still, I feel troubled by these body conditionings.
And regarding social conditioning, I feel that I am still dependent on my job for comfort and for social recognition. These points are troubling me, and I am trying to get out of these. I think it is becoming a war inside me. I am giving too much importance to these conditioning. What can be the way out? How to get out of this?
Acharya Prashant: Animals in the jungle never overeat. And they don’t care for delicious food. They want food, just as life energy. Right? And if a big python or crocodile happens to swallow a big animal, they will not eat for long weeks or even months. There is no intention to overeat. If a huge thing has come, we will take it, but then we will not eat for long. Why does man overeat? There has to be something specific to man's psyche that is not found in animals. Please guess.
Questioner: It is the mind which is on the taste buds.
Acharya Prashant: But, it has to be something that we don't share with animals.
Questioner: Consumption. We are looking for getting something from food.
Acharya Prashant: What is it that human beings want and animals don’t?
Questioner: Fulfillment.
Acharya Prashant: Yes, fulfillment. Another name for that is Truth or liberation. So that's what makes us do a lot of things and also resist a lot of things. You see, look at the complex nature of the ego. The ego wants fulfillment that it seeks through several things including food.
Also, the food that the ego consumes, in its search for liberation, is one of the things that will not allow it to be liberated. Because when we are attached to food, obviously we are not saying that we love apples or grapes. When someone says, “I am attached to food”, it's heavy, oily, carb loaded food that we are talking about. And that kind of food simply dulls the mind. We know that., right?
You take a heavy meal and you sit in a Gita session and you will find it difficult to keep awake. And it’s not a question of your intention, It’s a question of chemicals. Certain chemicals have been secreted that will simply not allow you to stay awake in spite of your intention.
So, the ego wants to avoid Gita and it uses food as a medium. It can do that, right? Equally it goes towards delicious food because it wants to use food as fulfillment, which means the ego wants fulfillment. But where fulfillment was available, the ego obstructed it using food.
So, do you see the complex relationship between man and the stuff that he consumes? Now again, if you could know that fulfillment is indeed coming from some place, would you still keep giving food more and more chances? We have given food umpteen chances now, right? Since the day of our birth, we have been clamoring for food. So, we know of our experiences with food.
And other things. I am using food as a representative thing. We know the extent to which food succeeds in fulfilling us. We know that. If something else comes up that fulfills us more, will we not very happily give up on the expectations we have from food?
So, food continues to be dominant as long as life is not rich. As soon as you get a whiff of something that has the potential to fulfill you better than food, you can easily keep food aside. Not that food is inexorable. Not that.
I will give you an example. A lot of people here have been overweight. I am talking about both. Either overweight or unfit or simply weak or something, simply means not fit. And then we set up this little gym here. Quite sufficient for the residents. And since then, people have lost weight, a lot of people. Not just because they have been hitting the gym very regularly, but because they have successfully discarded several kinds of food items. Why?
Because the very presence of the gym and their initial experience with the gym, told them that the fulfillment that they want, comes more easily from the gym than from food. So now food is being seen as an obstacle. If fulfillment is to come from a fit body, then gravy and oils and carbs are an obstruction, right?
So, the same food that used to be a fulfilling experience, is now something no one looks forward to. Anmol has lost 5 kgs. And several others as well. And it's not just because they have been burning calories. Burning enough calories to lose 5 kgs is quite difficult. You lose weight when you consume less.
And the consumption patterns have changed. I can see that. Frequently in their rooms there would be stuff from Zomato that they would be ordering post-midnight and then binging on it and that would result in obviously swollen bellies and stuff. That's not happening. That's not happening. So, you need another source of fulfillment.
And if you do not have that source of fulfillment, you will have no option but to fall back repeatedly upon food. Nothing else is there. So, the only pleasure that is available is through food. How can you give up on that pleasure? We all want pleasure, right? If pleasure is not coming from anywhere else, then you will seek it in food.
Do you remember that during the days of your joy, so often you forget to eat. And one of the symptoms of depression is that you start overeating. You remember the days when you were very joyful or very occupied with something very important, you miss your meals and you do not even remember that you have missed them.
Then maybe when you are to fall asleep, then, something troubles you here and then you say, “Oh! have I not eaten anything!” And then you discover it is too late to get anything to eat. So, you say, “fine. I'm anyway very tired after a fulfilling day. I'll simply crash.” And that's so wonderful. Nothing wrong with that.
We’ll have to search for something you can give yourself totally to. Then these proxy avenues we seek pleasure from, they become unimportant. Then food is needed just as fuel. Not as entertainment or fulfillment. Also, your choice in food changes. Because something more important has now come to you.
So, you say, “Well, I have to be ready for that. And, if, to be ready for that, I require a special kind of food. I'll take that food. Even if that food does not appear tasty to me. Because taste is now a low priority. Something more important has come. So, taste can wait.” Or a special kind of food can be had. And then that special kind of food becomes important because it is serving something important.
So, it's not that you give up on food. It’s that your taste changes. You don’t give up on food. When you come upon something that is very, very important in life, when you let that thing happen to you, then your taste changes.
The same thing then applies to women as well, your taste changes. It’s not that you have to stop interacting with women. How can you stop interacting with half the population? Not that you have to necessarily play celibate. There is no great virtue in that. As human beings, we come close and we often come physically close as well. All that is in the game of life. All that is in the flow of Prakriti. That happens.
Just that your taste changes. Just as you will not tolerate fatty food, you will also stop tolerating women who will put fat here, on the consciousness. Just as now you will invite food that resonates with leanness, similarly now you will have women, who will turn you lean from here (pointing towards his head). It’s not that you are keeping women aside, it’s that your taste has improved. That's what self-knowledge does. It makes you a person of taste, a person of good taste. You will now not be found going after worthless people, men, women, whatever.
The mark of the spiritual person is not that he will not have sex. If he does not have sex, then that can even be a mark of impotency, not necessarily spirituality. The mark of the spiritual person is that he will not have sex with unworthy people. Please understand the difference. Similarly, the mark of the spiritual person is not that he will not have food, he will not have unworthy food. That is also the definition of celibacy, brahmacharya — Not to be found close to unworthy people — That is brahmacharya.
Questioner: Regarding social conditioning, I was asking. I am becoming more dependent on job for comfort and social recognition. Recently the department has promoted me, it has upgraded me. I am feeling more entangled with my job.
Acharya Prashant: Very soon you will retire anyway. How many years left?
Questioner: 12 years left. It is a long time.
Acharya Prashant: When you feel you have sufficient or reasonable amount to cover your important, reasonable expenses, opt out. Anyway, pension and other benefits will be available. So go for the golden handshake. What else can be said? They will keep promoting you. The last few years of one’s service, one gets frequent promotions. That is the nature of a career with the government.
When you feel you have had enough, then simply say, I am opting out. And that doesn't anyway hinder your perks, privileges, pension, whatever. At some point there has to be a realistic assessment. How much is enough? And how much is too much? One has to draw the line somewhere. If I have this much, then I decide that I can now retire on my own, consciously. Not wait for the fine…..
