You may say that you are in love; but do you love that man, or do you love what you get through that man? When you are needy and lonely, then your relationships are like band-aids: they are there to take care of your wounds. But if you live your life from a point of aloneness — which is totally different from loneliness — your relationships will take on a different colour. Then you will really be free and not a slave.
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Acharya Prashant: Only in aloneness can you have relationships that are not exploitative. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter what name, or what color you give to your relationship; your relationship will definitely be one of exploitation. Have you ever looked at your relationships closely? Do you ever want the other? No, you just want to exploit the other. The proof of that is, that which you want through the other, if it is not obtained, you start disliking the other. You never want the other; you always want something through the other—that is, you want to exploit the other.
Ask yourself. You may say that you are in love; you may claim that you have ever loved somebody. Do you love that man, or do you love what you get 'through' that man? And if you do not get what you want from that man, you start hating that man. Had you wanted the man himself, the man was easy and available; but no, you had needs that you wanted fulfilled through the man. And that is a life of need; that is a relationship that has no aloneness. That is when you just want to consume and exploit and get your fingers into the other’s flesh.
I am again asking you. Look at every single one of your relationships. Is there any relationship that does not involve getting something through the other person? And if you stop getting what you get through the other person, would your relationship remain unaffected?
