जउ तउ प्रेम खेलण का चाऊ।सिर धरि तली गली गेरी आउ।।इतु मरगि पैर धरीजै।सिर दीजै काणि न कीजै।।
गुरु ग्रन्थ साहिब
__________
jau tau prem khelan ka chaau
sir dhari tali gali geri aau
itu margi paer dharijae
sir dijae kaani na kijae
Guru Granth Sahib
__________
Love is not a mental or physical need. Love is not for the faint-hearted. Love is not for those who fear the loss of relationships, reputation, possessions or life. Love is not for those who are afraid of family, society, or uncertainty. Love is not for those who seek sanction from tradition or culture.
Nanak says that if you are fond of playing the game of love – jau tau prem khelan ka chaau, then come over. Give me your head – denoting the ego, respectability, calculativenss. That is the only price you have to pay to enter love – off with your head !
Obviously, most people find this price too much to pay. Hence, what we see around is a loveless society – violence, strife, ambition, competition, insecurity and restlessness – all indications of lovelessness.
There is a clear warning being given. Nanak would have nothing less than your head- *sir dijae kaani na kijae*– if you want to take even one step towards love- itu margi paer dharijae. Only the intelligent man understands that this is such a profitable deal – to give up the disease called ego and get love. Rest remain slaves to their stupid notions and beliefs.
Acharya Prashant
(22nd Jan, 2013)
We often call something “help” or “love” while secretly expecting something in return. When that return does not come, we feel hurt, revealing that the relationship was a trade, not genuine help. The ego, being unfulfilled, cannot truly love or share. Likewise, desperation to be loved makes us controllable. Real love emerges when we stop seeking validation, work on ourselves, and become so inwardly fulfilled that we no longer need to be loved.
True love is not a biological instinct, emotional attachment, or social conditioning. Biology and science explain the body's drives, but they cannot explain the self that seeks freedom. Love is the inner restlessness to move from ignorance and bondage toward truth and liberation. Religion is not rituals or inherited beliefs but this personal journey of understanding. Freedom—not possession or conformity—is the essence of both love and religion.
Truth cannot be forced upon anyone, but neither should falsehood be entertained. Genuine love is not about preserving relationships at any cost; it is about helping oneself and others break free from illusion, even if that means risking the relationship itself. Spiritual growth begins by questioning conditioning, examining falsehood without bias, and choosing authenticity over comfort. Real relationships are built on the courage to seek freedom, not convenience.
