How to get respect and yet live free? || Acharya Prashant, with youth (2013)

Question: How do I get a life in which I get respect, as well as I can live life my own way?

This is a desire that is entrenched in everybody’s mind, “I want respect and I also want to live on my own terms.”

This is very much possible but it is not possible in the way you think it to be possible. What you are asking for is possible, not only possible, it is your right. It is your right to be respected and also live freely. When you say, “I want to live on my own terms,” what you mean is that you want to live freely. Yes it is possible. There are no constraints at all. There is no problem at all. Yes it is possible that we be respected and we live freely, but there is a small spoiler. It is not possible in the way we think about it. Let’s try to understand.

What does the word ‘respect’ mean? ‘Respect’ has two meanings. One the conventional meaning, where respect is just a code of conduct. You go to your teacher and you say, “Good Morning”, you bow your head a little and it is considered as ‘respect’. Right? You do not argue with your parents and it is considered as, ‘respect’. Right? When you are walking in front of a temple, you do not do a few things thing or you do a particular thing, it is considered as, ‘respect’.

This ‘respect’ if you look closely at it, is just a particular way of behaving, as we said, it is conduct related. It does not really have much to do with whether you understand it really or not. It has only to do with your behavior. Whether or not you understand your teacher, just show this kind of action and you will be considered as respectful. Is that not so? This is the conventional meaning of ‘respect’.