We are limited beings and limitation means boundaries. Any successful marriage will have boundaries. Spend quality time with each other and then leave each other free, both physically and psychologically. Get rid of the romantic notion that the two of us have now dissolved into each other and therefore there are no boundaries. Good fences make good neighbors. You must know where to stop. You must know that.
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Questioner: Namaskar Acharya Ji, I'm Dr. Rakshit. I'm a final year student in Lady Medical College. So my question is from chapter 67, named “When Closeness Becomes a Cage.” So if someone is married, by default that situation becomes a situation of closeness. So how can we, in that situation, avoid it from becoming a cage? Especially if the other partner is not interested in any kind of spirituality or anything.
Acharya Prashant: Marriage, we understand, is a ubiquitous, almost compulsory institution for most people. But still, there is a lot of room within it for you to define the nitty-gritties, the intricacies, right? Marriage is a very broad framework, and you must exercise your right to define its internal contours.
The chapter you are quoting says: let closeness not become a cage. Now, why can't you define closeness within marriage? Why does each marriage have to be a replica of a million others between you and your partner to define what marriage is going to mean for you? Why must closeness imply clinging? I'm asking. Why must that be the norm? Why must that mean that the two have to stick together all day? Let there be protocols, simple, direct, loving protocols.
