You Are in Prison
Questioner: Pranaam Acharya Ji, I've completed my graduation two years ago and during my graduation I was pursuing a professional degree course, and during that I got an internship opportunity in my dream company. But later I realized the corporate world is not for me — the toxicity and all the other things — and it's not worthy enough to give your life in corporate.
But since it's a set pattern in my family — I'm from a conservative family and there is a set pattern for all the girls that first you have to pursue a professional degree course, then two years job in an MNC, then an arranged marriage, housewife, and then kids — set pattern for everyone.
So I started pursuing CA with a hope that one day I'll start my own practice and get financial freedom. But, since last one year, I've been listening to you and I've realized that the set pattern — whether it's CA or any other course — is the worst part. And all the women in the family, whether it's young, old, educated, uneducated all are getting sorted at some or the other level. All the successful daughters, sisters who have always inspired — I felt like all their lives are miserable. I've always admired them because they have been labeled as successful women, successful daughters, but then I realized that this life was not worth living.
So two years back I decided that I will quit CA because it was never my decision. So I decided to start my coaching institute, and I have not told my parents yet. So whenever I try to study for the same, fear of further consequences, failure, the average life that I've seen around cripples me, and I eventually lose my focus. And also there is a thought that — if I would succeed in this, what if I got stuck in between on the right path? I mean, what if now “Maya mili na Ram” I don't want Maya, but what if I won't get Ram either?
So my question is: how to overcome all these negative thoughts so that I could focus on the study?
Acharya Prashant: I don't think you want Ram. I don't think anybody wants Ram. How can you want something, you cannot have any idea of? Ram is beyond imagination. How can you want something that's beyond imagination? We want Maya.
And the fear then is not that we won't get Ram. The fear is that we lose all the comforts and conveniences coming from Maya.
So first of all, let's articulate the fear rightly. You have stated your condition in a particular paradigm. You are saying, "I want to get rid of Maya, but what's the assurance that I won't be left stranded? That if I do give up Maya, I would end up having Ram." No, no. Ask yourself honestly — is that the real problem you are facing? That's not so. We really get used to comforts and habits and all the accompanying pleasures and assurances. And when it comes to going beyond them, our habituated self revolts. That's what happens.
The question you must ask is, 'What's the net trade-off?' Yes, there is a certain security living the way everybody else has lived. There are physical comforts and conveniences. There are monetary benefits. And one great benefit is that you know in advance the road ahead.
As you stated — a professional course, then a few years with an MNC, then wedding a rich guy, then motherhood, and then a continuation of the same secure premeditated life, right? And that's a big plus to the ego. The ego really loves that. Nobody comes to challenge the ego in that kind of a pattern. The track is very nicely laid out, like a railway track. You know in advance where things are going to lead to — all the milestones in between, all the sites, the valleys, the hills in between, all the stations in between — you know everything in advance. So you don't feel afraid.
The fear is not of missing out on Truth. The fear is of losing out on the false — and that's a great fear.
What if I lose out on all the false things that are there in life? Oh, all dear, sweet, nice, little false things! Don't be beholden. Don't be so sold out. If you really care for yourself, ask, 'Do I really want this?'
And I'm not forcing you into a decision. The professional course you are pursuing might be a very good course for a few people — including you — it's possible. I do not know what your equation with this course is. But do not do anything that pushes you into the same kind of rut that most people — especially most women experience.
You are the best judge. You are in the best position to know what's going to happen next. You are in the best position to know what the expectations of people around you are, and the kind of violence that is unleashed if those expectations are not fulfilled.
Violence does not consist in merely physically assaulting somebody. Emotional violence, or withdrawal of security, is a big thing — in the Indian context, in the context of a daughter, a daughter-in-law. Nobody should aspire for the real thing, because there is nothing called the real thing that you can imagine being currently what you are. Your utopia won't salvage you. No, Truth cannot come via imagination.
What you should honestly and realistically seek is freedom from the current bondages — that is, if you do not like those bondages. If you are in love with those bondages, I have nothing to say. Do not have an image of freedom. First of all, it is unrealistic. Secondly, the ego that clamors so much for an image of the Truth or freedom is actually passively conspiring against the freedom it is imagining.
Please understand: being in my bonded state, I'll imagine freedom. And what kind of freedom I'll imagine? Bondage — modified. Also, being in bondage, how will freedom look to me? Scary. Because I am in bondage precisely because I like bondage. Else why would I be in bondage?
I am in bondage because some part of me — some very strong part of me — likes to be in bondage. And being in bondage, I imagine freedom. I'll try to pick holes in that freedom. That freedom to me would be so scary that the image itself will ensure that I never move towards freedom.
I'll come up with arguments such as — Alright, even if I’ll be free, I'll have to do such things, so what's the point in being free? Do you see what you're doing? You are purposefully imagining a very distorted image of freedom or Ram, as you said in the question. You're purposefully imagining something in a way that ensures and gives you credible arguments against freedom itself.
"Now what's the point in freedom? You see, even if you are free, see — if everybody becomes a Buddha, Who will run the world? Now why will you become a Buddha?" You have already imagined what it means to be a Buddha. And what has your imagination given you? It has given you a credible argument against Buddhahood.
You imagine what a Buddha looks like and immediately you come up with the argument — "If everybody becomes a Buddha, 'Who will run the world?' If everybody starts listening to this Acharya, no kids will be born, and what will happen to the human race? For the sake of our species, like Elon Musk the philanthropist, let's produce, let's breed like rabbits." We imagine freedom just so that we can develop fresh arguments against freedom. Because our imagination is anyway going to be rotten. And that rotten image is now good food for arguments against freedom.
Your imagination is your own cannon feed — and you are firing the cannon against the Truth. "See, Truth is all right, but one has to live."
Can you give this argument without imagining something about the Truth? No. So, to make this apparently strong argument, you first of all imagine something about the Truth. Now that imagination is there — now you can fire at this imagination. If there is nothing, what will you fire at? Tell me please — if you want to say something against something, first of all you need to have an image of something, right?
I need to destroy something. What do I need first of all? I need that thing to be present in front of me as a target. But Truth cannot be present in your world to be made a target. So what do we do? We imagine the Truth. The moment we imagine the Truth, now we are happy. Now we can target the Truth. Target the Truth — not in terms of reaching it, but in terms of destroying it.
That's the reason why so many people are so fond of spiritual imagination. And that's what happens in a lot of the so-called meditation. Imagine, imagine it's happening — imagine — and then there is so much mental activity. Don't you see it's a cheap conspiracy of the ego against the Truth? All the imagination — the moon is there, the lake is there — imagine. And the so-called guided meditation and all the spiritual experiences — you come up with mental stuff, because that mental stuff enables you to downplay the Truth.
I say — forget the Truth. The Truth is not something to be remembered. It is already there where it should be. You don't have to remember something additionally. Your job is to forget a lot of things. Your responsibility is not to acquire something more. Your responsibility is to drop a lot of things.
Ram is not a name. The name is not Ram. You need not be worried whether you would get to Ram. The worry itself is coming from your fear of Ram. Drop the worry. Ram is there. You need to drop, not attain. Are you getting it? Drop what is unnecessary. Drop what you know to be needless. Drop what you know to be harmful. And don't worry about the rest. You don't have to clear an entrance exam to be called Ram-qualified. You don't have to enter into something. You have to make a lot of exits.
When we are talking of people inside a prison, should we talk of an entrance exam or an explosion that enables your exit? Should we talk of more entrances or exits?
Listeners: Exits.
Acharya Prashant: Never forget who you are — you are someone in prison. Talk of exits and if doors do not exist, blast the damn walls. That's the reason why you need power.
