Questioner : The outcome of outer events still affects me. I shiver in fear, I become excited in happiness, but there is a voice that says, “I don’t care!”
This scares me terribly. What is this voice? I feel unsafe with it.
Acharya Prashant: There is nothing more “scary” than the Truth. The Truth has been called as that which terrifies you beyond limit. In the narrative of the Gita , when Shri Krishna reveals his real form, the Truth, to Arjun, he shivers; he trembles. He says, “I am going to faint!”
The word ‘tremendous’ has a deep connection to Truth. Truth is tremendous. And tremendous comes from the same root as trembling – that which makes you tremble, getting it? Tremendum. All these are related. So do not think that the Truth only pacifies, becalms, soothes, comforts, it shakes you! (Smilingly)
But it depends on who you are. If Truth is shaking you up, then you must know who you are. And who you are would always be shaken up by the Truth. So, no need to think of this as an abrasion. It always happens.
You see, one of the fellows here, when she was running away, she wrote me an email saying that, “I am running away because you terrify me. And I cannot live in an atmosphere of fear.”
Actually, she was being honest. She said that you know all the great Teachers have said that, ‘No learning can happen in the atmosphere of fear.’ And specifically, she quoted Krishnamurti that Krishnamurti had said that there must be no fear in relationship. Quoting Krishnamurti is always a problem. In fact, that is why I advise people that unless you are very, very sure of yourself, do not approach Krishnamurti. It is another matter that those who should not read Krishnamurti are always the first ones to go to him, and mostly, always, for the wrong reason.
So, Krishnamurti was quoted as saying that, “If there is authority and fear, there can be no learning.”
“But you scare me. I cannot sit in front of you. And the things that you say, they are so horrible, how do I listen to them? And I find that you are always attacking me.”
There cannot be a… (laughs). And I am not talking in future tense. There cannot be a better expression of the ego’s relationship with the Truth than this mail that I received from her.
“You scare me; you attack me; you suffocate me. I cannot bear to look at your face. You act like an authority. You do not listen to me at all.”
But that is it.
Yes, the Truth is an authority. And there does exist an authority, and it is an unmatched authority. Let nobody challenge it.
You have seen only the moral face of God, right? God – the father. God – the caring, compassionate father; wearing white clothes, showering bounties like the fellow who roams about on Christmas, huh? Oversized reindeers. (laughs) Sacks and socks.
That is the only face you know of God.
Now, let me tell you. God has blood on his clothes. His face is smeared with grime, sweat, blood, bile. He is a killer. You don’t see that face too often. Probably, you have never thought about it. Never seen it, right?
But there is nothing as bloody as God.
Even when you want to worship Shiva , you only worship Him with His eyes half-closed, deeply absorbed in meditation. You do not want to look at the Tandava Mudra of Shiva . Yes, there are a few temples. Yes, there are some infrequent references. But largely, you do not want to think about it. Because if you think about it, then it is not good for your mood. Your day will be spoiled. But the Truth is more like Shiva in his Pralaya mode than like Father Christmas.
The Truth is an utter destroyer.
I do not know whether It creates. But I am very, very sure that It annihilates. And when one’s life is so full of falseness, then it makes no sense to talk of creation. One can only talk of annihilation. Once the annihilation has been done, then creation would happen on its own. The primary function of Truth is to negate all your falseness; to show you that you are living in lies.
Yes, when you are being shown that, then, Truth itself gives you the courage to see. In that sense, Truth is compassionate. In that sense, Truth helps and supports; that without the help of Truth, you cannot even see falseness. But only in that sense.
Truth is not merciful in the sense that it will help you maintain your false and ugly world.
But that’s what you want, right?
“Lord, have mercy upon us and keep my shop running.”
“Lord, please be kind to my ugly family.”
“Please ensure that she does not run away with carpenter.”
The God Himself has come in the form of Carpenter. (Smiles) He will take her away. Don’t you look at the size of his saw? He is there to hack everything into two, right from the middle.
But you are praying, “Lord, the Father! In your immense mercy, I pray to you. Please do something about this carpenter. And I suspect he is bringing a plumber along now. What has happened to your world? At least, there has to be some equality! One man and one woman! Now the basics are being violated.”
(laughter)
Equality is a virtue in your moral world. In His world, only Truth is the virtue.
No equality, no liberty, no democracy is valuable in front of the Truth. So, when people come and say that they hear me and they feel really nice and good, then I don’t feel really nice and good. But when I see your face shrunk into half, then it means that something is happening; that your first encounter with the Truth is probably underway.
What do you expect? Darkness will celebrate when it faces Light? It will shrink! Every successive encounter with Light reduces darkness. Are you getting it?
But in the name of spirituality, happiness – an inflation of darkness – is being distributed. Don’t you see that happening?
People are going to so-called spiritual events, and they are feeling so happy. They are dancing, rejoicing, feeling pleased; nice music, nice clothes, attractive faces. Is that not happening?
Would that happen when Shiva Himself comes in front of you? But guruji is so pleasant. Is not guruji pleasant? Very pleasant! And the music is so nice. When Shiva will come with his musical instrument, you won’t be there pleasing it. You would be running away for dear life and finding nowhere to go and hide.
And Shiva will not say that you are wonderful and beautiful. He will say that you deserve to disappear. Before the Real you can come, this false one deserves to disappear. And that is compassion. Compassion is not about protecting and preserving what is false.
But guruji says, “Let your life continue as it is continuing, with some additions, with some beautifications.”
“I will provide the soothing touch.”
“Your business is not doing well? I will tell you what can help you get success in your business.”
“Your daughter does not listen to you? Come here, I will give you a mantra.”
Is that clear?
Please get this image off your mind – “the pleasant Truth”. Truth cannot be pleasant to that which we are. Truth can be pleasant only to the Truth. Only the Truthful can love the Truth. Truth falls in love only with Itself.
So when you see that a false man is worshipping gods, you must immediately know that these are false gods. When you see that a false man is worshipping guruji, you must immediately know that this is a false guruji. Getting it?
Yes, Truth is lovable. Truth is most beautiful – “Satyam Shivam Sundaram.”
Shiva too is really more attractive than anybody else. But to whom? To Shiva Himself.
You will love Shiva when you will gain something of Shiva. You will love Shiva when you will be Shiva. Otherwise, you cannot love Him.
Getting it?