Most self-help starts with a wrong idea: that the “I” we live with is real, permanent, and worth defending. This so-called self is really just a collection of fears, desires, and conditioning that is always worried about its own survival. It has to hold on to its stories to survive: “I’m not enough,” “I need to get better,” “I need to become something.” So it looks for aid, not to get rid of these false beliefs, but to make them easier to deal with.
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Originally published in Deccan Herald on 27 oct '25.
Every bookstore one goes to today will have at least one aisle full of books that say essentially the same thing: “You can fix yourself.” The self-help industry is full of quick-fix mantras and five-step success models. They all share one simple belief: that the “self” is broken and can be fixed with the right technique.
But before we try to “help” the self, shouldn’t we first question, “What is this self that we’re trying to help?”
Most self-help starts with a wrong idea: that the “I” we live with is real, permanent, and worth defending. This so-called self is really just a collection of fears, desires, and conditioning that is always worried about its own survival. It has to hold on to its stories to survive: “I’m not enough,” “I need to get better,” “I need to become something.” So it looks for aid, not to get rid of these false beliefs, but to make them easier to deal with.
