Making yourself happy isn't self-love. Self-love is gifting yourself the highest possible. If you do not know what to give yourself, at least abstain from giving yourself toxic and harmful things. Real love is always tough. Self-love is an exercise in reduction, not accumulation. When you work to make your life beautiful, you are truly loving yourself.
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Questioner: Acharya Ji, Pranaam! We have been taught not to be selfish. If we start to love ourselves, where to draw a line before we get self-obsessed? Or is self-love the same as self-obsession?
Acharya Prashant: Self-love is a wonderful thing. But one has to really know what love means. Isn’t there a difference between pleasing someone and helping someone? Is there, or is there not?
You have a child in your home, and he keeps asking for sweets. He doesn’t merely have a sweet tooth; his entire jaw is sweet. All he wants is sweets. What would please him? Lots of sweets? Or, “No more sweets! You are already so fat?”
Now tell me, 'What is love?' To give sweets to the child, gratify him, please him, make him happy, make him feel at least momentarily satisfied, make him your great admirer— you offer him, sweets, you know. Or keep him away from the sweets, even if it peeves him a little, even if it puts the relationship in a bit of strain, even if it makes him drift a little away from you? Where is love?
