How free are your thoughts and life? Let's test

Questioner: Namaste Acharya ji, So my question was when we make important life decisions, how do we distinguish between natural thinking and conditioned thinking. So there are some things like you get some genuine wisdom and there are things like which are conditioned to us. So how to distinguish uh between them?

Acharya Prashant: Inquiry is the only route. Otherwise, there is no way you can ever detect whether your thoughts, internal processes, feelings and importantly conclusions and decisions are your own, really original or whether they are products of an implanted process. You will never come to know what has been implanted within that which you are calling as conditioning is an implanted thing and once it has entered your insides it will always appear innate. In the normal run of things, human beings lack the capacity to differentiate between what is original and what is borrowed. That which is borrowed very quickly, very unnoticeably starts appearing as one's own homemade native. So, one puts the force of all his confidence behind his thoughts and feelings and decisions. One says these are my own and I'm confident. This is what I am thinking, right. This is what I am feeling, that's what I have thought out for my future “I”.

The "I" is such a lonely thing, it just wastes no time in latching on to whatever object it can get hold of and once it has touched something, it gets identified with that. So, a very foreign idea might enter your mind and once you get associated with it, you will start claiming ownership. You'll say it is mine. It is mine. And if somebody then questions that idea or invites you to debate, you might even feel offended or provoked. You'll say this is my idea and you are questioning it. It is not the idea that you are questioning. It is my I-ness that you are questioning. because now my "I” is attached rather identified with the idea. So, if you question that idea you are questioning their I-ness. you are questioning by implication their existence itself. “I” is your existence right?

So, I am identified with a particular attire: trousers, jackets, saries, whatever, nothing an inanimate piece of clothing. But if that becomes a part of my identity and we are saying the ego is such a hungry beast, it will very quickly associate itself with anything and everything it gets hold of, because nothing satisfies it. Since nothing satisfies it, it is always eager to bite into to pierce into to take grip of to clutch whatever is the next thing subtle or gross. That it comes across. So it could be a piece of clothing, it could be an idea, thought, feeling, whatever. If it comes to the self, the self has a great tendency to get identified with it. Identification could be both in affirmation and negation. For example, I am a conservative or I am a liberal. So I'm already committed to a particular idea. Right? I'm already committed. So if the opposite of that idea comes to me, I'll again be identified as the opposite because that's my very nature, the nature of the ego to be identified. I'll again be identified with that idea but via negative. So I'll become a sworn enemy of the liberals. That's again identification. That's again a statement of identity. Is it not? Who am I? Slayer of the liberals or hater of the conservatives. That's again a statement of identity. So one identity gives birth to several identities. There is no way the ego can let go of anything it is. We are saying always hungry, always lonely, always seeking company, always seeking an object that can fulfill it.

So once the ego gets associated, it starts claiming ownership. It says the thing is mine. The thing is mine. I want a fact pay package. “I” how do you know it is your own thought? How do you know? How do you know? I think mine is the best country of all. I think my thoughts are superior to those of my neighbors. How do you know? I think my gender has a biological and historical right to dominate. I think my gender is made to provide care and emotional nourishment. How do you know? How do you know? That's the thing the questioner is asking. How do I know? And that's what I'm bouncing back to you. How do you know? How do you know? The thing is we do not know but still we are very confident. That is the problem.

And there is nothing within that's going to raise a red flag of suspicion. There's nothing within that would ever say, "Sir, hold wait, watch, question. You did not always believe in these things. From where did these things come to you? Can you ask? No, I don't want to ask because if I ask, then it is terrible because I run the risk of making the ego lonely again. The ego is now finding some comfort associated with some idea. And if the basis of that association is questioned and if that association happens to be ruptured then the ego becomes — I'm so lonely. Again something is gone.

So even if the association is false the association has to be maintained. And if the association is to be disrupted then you will have to go through inner pain. That pain is the price for living a truthful life. Well, believe me, whatever we are associated with, there is a great chance. I dare not say 100% chance. Though the thing is, it is a 100% thing, but there's a great chance if you'll question it, it will be proven to be false.

That is the way of Vedanta. That is the way of honesty to keep questioning whatever you know.

The epistemological lens that filters that asks — how do I know? How am I sure of the validity of my knowledge? My conclusions? How do I know of anything? How do I know that even “I” exists? Well that's taking things too far will not go that far but, how do I know? That you know such and such this thing must happen. So there is this delimitation exercise, not the exercise really the debate currently raging. And if you look at what people are saying on both sides of the divide. It's so interesting and everybody is so confident and nobody wants to ask. Sir, how do you know? How do you know? You know the north deserves to have a certain premium because it is the north that defended the south from all the external invasions. Sir, how do you know? How do you know? Is it coming from history or from where? How do you know? We don't ask.

Well the north has been left behind because there was the freight equalization thing that enabled the south to leap ahead. You know the south is ahead because the Chinese and Pakistani missiles were more prone to reaching the north. So all the industries were set up in the south. All this is what is going around and we don't want to ask, how do you know? we are not saying what you are saying is false. We are just asking, how do you know? How do you know? anybody can earn money but it is the north that defends the frontiers, shouldn't we subsidize them? How do you know? getting it?

Now in this case it is probably easier to know because you could consult lots of history books. You could apply your own discretion and you could come to some sort of fair judgment. As to what is really going on, what the whole thing is about, what are the political dimensions, what are the historical angles and you can come to know. But when it comes to your insights, it becomes a little more difficult to know because now something very personal is at stake. Something very personal that something very personal is called the “I”. And there is no way of knowing whether you are conditioned or not except going through the process of inner pain. Inner pain. You'll have to question a lot of things. You'll have to question everything. It requires a lot of inner boldness. It requires a commitment towards honesty. That's what is called really being spiritual.

Are you getting it? Otherwise, it's a very easy, quick and cheap way to just assert anything. I am the best. My wife is the best. My kids are the best. My choices are the best. My marks are the best. My job is the best. My neighborhood is the best. My gods are the best. Everything that's related to me is the best because I'm the best. Fine. Very easy to claim all that. What's the real meaning of the term integrity? It is to not to have a dissonance between truth and your truth. And there is nothing that's further away from the truth than one's own truth. Personal truth that's the enemy of truth.

One requires we all know our track records. No? The kind of inner achievers we are. We might put things on our CV. I understand that I come from a similar campus. So I know how we build up and decorate our CV. So that's one thing. But we know internally, who we are. We know our track record. Then how do we manage to back ourselves so strongly so unflinchingly? One should have some suspicion if not cynicism. If I know who I am and what I have been and I also know that I can't change overnight, I won't trust myself too easily. Or would I? In fact, I would say if it's appearing to me, then it ought to be false. That's the mantra I sometimes give to some of my selected most loved people. See, just do the opposite of what you feel like and there's a 90% chance you'll get it right.

When I have to take a decision, sometimes I call in people to consult them and I want to hear their opinion just so that I do the opposite of it. We all should have this kind of attitude towards ourselves. We love slippery slopes. So if that's the direction our being is feeling impelled to, then we must know that the heights, the tops, the mountains lie in the opposite direction. If I feel impelled towards that direction, then there's a 90% chance that that's the direction of the bottom. The right side would be there, probably exactly to the opposite. Aren't slippery slopes always inviting? You don't have to do anything. Just slip.

You couldn't even slip. Sleeping comfortably. You are sleeping and yet so much movement is happening like sometimes in two years in the campus you don't even know when you have graduated. That internal sleep is a very typical thing that keeps happening. Externally we might feel our eyes are open. the way of inquiry. The more confident you feel about something, the more suspicion it should arouse. The more sure you feel of something, the more you must realize that Maya is trying to shut the doors to inquiry. Confidence is your enemy.

Catch the inner thief red-handed. Look at its functioning. See how it manipulates and distorts. See how it has preset conclusions and then it fabricates arguments in favor of the conclusions.

That's such a bad way of arguing and concluding. No? If you do that in any of the sciences or in economics, statistics, commerce, accounting, anywhere, even in humanities, if you have a readymade conclusion and then you manufacture arguments to support that conclusion, you would be called a third rate philosopher. A third rate arguer. But that's what we all do internally. My kid is the best. My choices are all right. That's something already proven well in advance. And then you have to come up with arguments to somehow justify your choice. And we do not even know why we have already concluded in a particular way. But that's something we need to know because the one sitting inside is not your friend. Please. The one who sits inside of us is not our friend. It's the false “I”. It's a usurper. It has taken over, stolen somebody else's name. The real I is something else. Somebody else. The one who sits inside us has stolen the name.

How can this thief be our friend? Where is this thief coming from? It's not homegrown. It's not arising from inside. It is coming from here and there. It's not our innate sense of self. It's a biological and social sense of self mostly random, time bound, conditioned, influences of family culture, religion, education media and the rest of it. When it's coming from all these external places, what do we call it? How do you feel if I say you sir you are sitting there you are there you are there you are there you are there you are there, you are all over the place does it make sense? So, physically we want to unit. Right. An integrated unit there has to be a certain oneness. This is me and if this is me. That is? please tell me, that is not me and if this is me then that's not me that's not me.

But look at how it operates internally psychologically. Here (pointing towards the head) when it comes to your arm your arm is at one place and it cannot be coming from five other places. But look at what you have here it's coming from five 5,000 different places and the flux is continuous. The tragedy is unmitigated continuous movement of influences and these are coming from everywhere. Here, here and yet we manage to call the content here (pointing towards the head) as my own. How is it my own? How do I say I am thinking? You're hurting my feelings. Are your feelings your own? Really? Are any of your concepts your own? A little hit on the head. And if you lose your memory, would these concepts stay with you? How are they your own? They are things stored in your memory. Stored in memory and picked up by the ego to associate with. How is anything here? How is it your own?

My cast, my geography, my nationality, my aims, targets, hopes, dreams, are they our own? If we ask a set of people like we have here to write down their dreams, please enumerate five top dreams you have. I guess there would be a 50 to 80% commonality and I might be underestimating. How is it possible if we are individuals? How is it possible that we all have such very common dreams? How is it possible? Does that not trigger suspicion? Prima facie does that not point towards a need for inquiry? Something very dangerous is happening inside. And what's the danger? I am not at all there inside. I am calling it my insights. The fact is inside of me there is very little of me. How big a danger is that? That's a danger that the learned ones have called a danger bigger than death. Bigger than death.

To the extent that they say that you are not even alive. They say you need to take birth. This that emerges from the mother's womb is just a thing of flesh. You cannot call that thing as living or alive or conscious. Life is for the sake of actually attaining birth. And you attain birth when you are able via the process of self inquiry to clean yourself of all that is not you. When that only that remains that's just me pure me that's when you can claim that you are now alive and that's the point referred to as jiwanmukti. So how big a danger is it to lead a conditioned life. A danger bigger than death is something we see as coming in the future.

Whereas this is a danger about not even being born. No, not even being born is said to be a danger bigger than death. Most of us well that's the way of those who know they don't mince words. They say most of us die physically without ever having taken birth. So here's the dead body. The tragedy is the fellow was never even born. He died without taking birth. He was eating, breathing, all that was happening, walking, talking, mating, reproducing, making a CV, getting a job. That's fine. The little problem is that he was never alive. All that was so conditioned, so mechanical. And we don't call machines as sentient beings, do we?

so even a machine can do most of the stuff that we do. And with AI it has become even clearer. Everything that we do including emoting can be done by a machine. So how do we say that we are even born? We don't call machines born. We call them manufactured. So we are manufactured beings. Right? DOM (Date of manufacturing), not DOB (Date of birth). Don't be sure of yourself. They say only 1/9 of the iceberg is exposed above the surface. When it comes to the human mind, it is probably 1/90. That is the extent of our self-awareness. You'll have to watch yourself continuously, dispassionately, ruthlessly. Your words, your thoughts, your feelings, your associations, desires, hopes, heartbreaks, you'll have to, you'll have to observe them like in a case study.

The most intimate case studies our own life, our own movements and when I say life I don't mean historical life. I don't mean what you were doing between the ages of 8 and 18 by life, I mean that which is happening. The dynamic process itself here now one will have to very dispassionately very objectively look at oneself like one looks at a case study and see what is really happening. We say facts are the door to truth. One will have to have a fact oriented attitude towards oneself. I say I am this. But is that borne out by how I behave, how I relate, how I desire? Desires are wonderful things to observe. No, they are more honest than actions because actions are very fearful things. You might desire something but never act on it because of fear of consequences. But look at your desires. They'll tell you a lot about what you have become. When you look at all that then there is a cleansing thing. It happens inside. That's called revelation of the real self. It comes via the false self. Look at the false self. Look at it without attachment, without association as if you are looking at somebody else. When the falseness loses your own support, it falls. What's left behind is who you really are.

Questioner: Namaste sir, my follow-up question is that you've always said that, you must find what you must do. And you've talked a lot about finding that must do things and it's it's clear from this conversation also that you need a lot of self-knowledge to even find that thing else. You're just finding it from some conditioning and that conditioned thought is telling you that it's the must do thing but how do you know that because the conditioning is …

Acharya Prashant: Yes, all certainties you know arise only from conditioning. Would you remember this? Please remember it not to simply blindly execute it but to be with it. be with it in the sense of accompanying it, questioning it, experimenting with it. All certainty arises only from conditioning and that certainty is never the certainty about rightness of the action. It is always an assumed imagined certainty about the fruits of the action. Conditioning and desire are very intimately related. Right? So I want something. I want something. I never do anything except for the No, no. Except for the role it has in serving my desire.

Desire comes first, action comes later.

Is that not so? You want something, hence you act. Now in this, what is certain? What is certain for you? Fixed, determined. The desire. I want it. I want it and I won't budge. So all certainty is conditioned. Truth never gives you any kind of certainty. The redeeming thing is with truth you do not require any assurance of certainty. Only when you are clamoring for a particular thing, do you want to be sure that you will attain that thing. I want that thing. Please please come and assure me that I'll definitely get that thing. Now that's why we say that hopes make the world go round. Yes, in 5 years I'll get that thing. Why do I enter the campus? I'm assured in whatever way I could be that two years later such and such package is guaranteed. Right? So the admissions office means a lot and the placement office means a lot. Everything in between lets me just go through the motions that happen on every campus.

Desire is what affords us certainty and all desire as we experience it is a product of conditioning. Conditioning. So conditioning and certainty they always go together. Hence, how do we come to that which is real? Question everything. Question everything that you take as certain. Our friend here asked us how do I know what I must do in life? The thing is you already know so much that you must do in life. And how do you know that? through very very flimsy processes and roots. Somebody told you, you gathered it from somewhere. That's the cultural norm of the era. So we already know all these things. You must do this, you must do this, you must do this, you must do this.

you must get educated. and education. If you are from the global south, it generally does not mean getting educated in philosophy or psychology or sociology. Education to us means vocational education. Education that opens the doors of a particular profession to us STEM. right? So highly educated would usually mean manager, doctor, engineer, lawyer and what's common between the four vocational degrees you could add accountancy, CA and the rest of what's common between all these vocational degrees right? So that's education but you already know that you must do all these things. That's the trick.

Don't find out what you must do. See what you already know as must do’s in life and ask where did I get them from? Where did I get them from? And you could afford a certain awkwardness in this. You could ask certain very basic questions without hiding behind words like common sense and obviousness. People will say you know but it is obvious. It's common sensical. Don't hide behind those words. Ask, why must I get educated at all? Forget about vocational education. Why must I have any education? And let the answer be original? Because if the answer is original, you will not find it so troublesome to attend classes and maintain attendance. If the answer is really original, why must I get educated? You must earn so much. Sir, where did that figure come from? Please tell me.

22 years back when I appeared for my placements 5 to 10 lakhs per annum that kind of CTC was taken to be honorable good. You exceed 10 then you say — lottery lag gayi iski to and if you are stuck at three or four people say don't worry Okay, within 3 months you jump to some other place. For now, just take the offer. So 5 to 10 was a decent package. The median would lie somewhere between 6 and 8. Today how much? 33, 35, 40, 25. Sir, how do you know? These are random numbers. Where did this number come from? Is it just an inflation adjusted thing for six lakhs LPA? Is it coming from there? Where is it coming from? How do you know? How did this random thing become so sacred? How is it coming from the cost of living?

We calculate the poverty line and that's not a random number, right? How do we calculate the poverty line? We look at the basic metabolic requirements of a man and a woman. In urban areas we say he does not engage in physical labour. So he needs to expend only these many calories. In rural areas we assume he works on the farms and travels by foot. So a little more calorie expenditure is happening. So we come to that number. Then we say if this much calorie intake has to happen, then the fellow must consume this quantity of grains and and this much fruit and this much veggies and then we say, this is the going rate of these edibles and from there we come to the definition of poverty line approximately.

So there is a logic there is a rational if we say you are not earning this much then you deserve to be called poor. Then there is a logic to it now tell me what is the logic behind 33 LPA, there is no logic and we don't ask. There is no calculation that can ever lead to the 33 figure where it is coming from. But you must do it. And if you don't do it, oh! Shame! ostracization! Somebody might just throw you out of a WhatsApp group. Bloody! loser. Just 25 LPA. Why must I get that package? It's a must do, right? It's a must do. Why? Why must I? I'm not saying you should not. Should and must have no place in inquiry. It's a question. It's a very innocent question to ask. No, why must I go after that package?

And I'm not saying you must have only instead of 33 only 25 why should I not target 63. If 33 randomly can become so important then I could as well randomly say 63 and train myself to feel disappointed on not getting 63. Because it's your own internal training sir it's not coming from anywhere else. Are you getting it? Now you must have that bigger car. I understand it's a four-wheeler. It has a certain utility. I too own one. It's required. But the question is, is there a relationship between my real needs and the vehicle I'm desiring or is it coming from a must do kind of dictum? Where is it coming from? Where is it coming from?

You're asking, how do I figure out what I must do in the clutter of all the false must dos? Where is the space for the thing that must really be done? Please tell me. So the first thing is to question and cut the clutter. In all your little life and even in that little life there is approximately only two third periods when you are neither infantile nor senile, and then of that period you spend approximately one third sleeping. So how much time do we really have available for meaningful action? Very little. And even that very little time is spent in pursuing false must do’s. So should I ask what is the real must do or should I first of all disown all the false ones? Please tell me

Listeners: disown the false.

Acharya Prashant: But we are not prepared to disown. We say all the false things I will gladly keep with me. Now on top of this falseness, can you put some cherry on the cake please? Will that help? Will that help? And if you are a woman, if you're a lady, oh! you must have kids. And that is the age when you are building your career, right? And you'll have to make a choice. But you already know what you must do. So the other thing will definitely take a backseat. You don't get pregnant after 60. It's not something that mother nature wants you to do after your retirement. It coincides with your peak time in career building. And when all your batchmates would be surging ahead, you would be doing what you must do.

And one of those batchmates might as well be the father of the kid that you must carry. And when on campus you are an active competitor, right? You didn't like it when that batchmate would get half a grade higher than you. But now you are doing what you must do and he is doing what he must do. So where is the question of the real must do? Where's the question of that? Please see, we are so enveloped in a thick cloud of falseness that it is absurd for us to question about the truth. We need to first of all cut through this envelope otherwise it is just so awkward. Makes no sense. It's like sitting in a burning house and asking how the Himalayan glaciers feel.

Ma'am, you first of all quickly need to come out, run away. Instead, we say no. Please, please tell me, please tell me. And then you have people who tell you to meditate for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and they say experience internally. Experience the freshness, the coolness of the Himalayas even as you are sitting in a burning house. What kind of self-deception is this? And where will it take you? Once all that which does not need to be done, once all that which does not deserve to be committed to is gone, you are left with no need for certainties. Then you can plunge into purposeless action and play joyfully because now you're not clamoring for a particular result. It's fine. All the falseness is gone. And what am I left with? Just a playground to enjoy myself.

I don't care what happens in the future. I'm all right right now. The funny thing is those who stop caring about the future are presented with surprise gifts in the future. You must, please understand that the future you envisage is a product of your conditioning. Why can't we see this simple thing? If you close your eyes and dream of the best future you can have 5 years down the line, please see where that dream, that vision, that image is coming from. Please see it's coming from the movies. It comes from folk culture. It's coming from parents. It's coming from tradition. It's not yours. Your dreams are not yours. Your targets are not yours.

What's the point in chasing them? What's the point in investing your life on them? And then we start feeling suffocated. We say, "Okay, fine. Suppose I drop all this. Suppose I drop all this. Please give me something worthier to chase. Please." Now, with self-awareness, I would know what the intent of the question is. Why am I asking this question? so that I may get some answers. Okay. You drop all these must dos MDs. You drop these five MDs. You give me something in return, please. All right. Here is something in return. This is what you must chase. Ah! show me. Ah! I don't like this. And if I don't like this, what will I continue chasing? My pre-existing 5 MDs. And that's the reason why we ask for an alternate vision of the future. You do not need any vision of the future is dangerous.

You need freedom from the foolishness of the present. You don't need visions of the future. The future will take care of itself. That's called faith.

But we don't want to give up on the foolishness here right now. Instead, we ask for either borrowed visions of the future or all right. Ah, you are acting so smart, so wise. You tell me. You tell me. What should I do 5 years down the line? I don't even know what I'll be doing five. I don't know and I don't want to know. Why should I play this joke on you? Are you getting it? There is nothing specific that you must do in life. If there is something that happens to be your absolute responsibility, it is to live without bondages. That's what you must do. If it can be called doing at all, I do not prefer to call it a doing because it happens, happens on its own. When you realize what you are encumbered with, when you realize what is it that chains you, then the realization itself splits the chains open.

That's the only must do in life. That's your only goal to be yourself.Swabhav. And your Swabhav is freedom. freedom absolute. That's the only thing that you cannot compromise on. And if you compromise on it then as we said we are not even born. You're missing out on the only thing that you have. This single one is a priceless life. What is it that I must do? know. Please know. Please know. Please see you don't need a new direction to go towards you need to ask these paths these contours these maps that I have supposedly chosen for myself. Where are they coming from? Why must I commit to them? How is it my obligation or responsibility to walk these paths? I hope I'm not being too abstract. Yes.

Questioner: So, I hear what you're saying. The one thing that always catches me off guard is that when I'm looking at why I'm trying to do something or why I'm deciding that hey I should do this uh I can it's endless. It's layers and layers and layers. I find something and then I say okay what's the next thing? Why is that coming? Why is that coming? And at some point I don't want to be paralyzed. There is an obligation to act even if I don't act, that is an act of right. So what do you suggest is the point at which we act uh do something.

Acharya Prashant: Yes. Wonderful! Wonderful! You see there is an assumption inherent here. The assumption is action and observation are distinct things. They are not. You don't pause to observe. That's a traditional model. That's not what I'm talking about. What you're saying is if I just keep observing when do I act or what is the point at which observation assumes gains so much certainty that I can now commit myself to some action that's the question. Am I right? yes that's the question no you never have to stop because you cannot stop h you cannot stop you are acting huh we all are acting in our particular conditioned ways it is this movement that needs to be observed. Hence, movement and observation are concurrent. They are not episodic. They don't follow each other. Are you getting it?

If you pause to observe, what will you observe? What will you observe? How will you observe the flow of the Ganga in a picture? Can you? So there's the flow and the flow itself is being observed. The flow itself is being observed which means you cannot have the luxury of observation-less movement and that's the luxury traditional spirituality provides you. So there is a particular time slot for observing mornings 6:30 to 7 in my meditation room and then the entire day you don't need to be observant. I'm talking about observation 24/7. I'm saying even as I stand here and we sit here we should know what's going on.

As I speak, how many of us found something somebody within us coming up with replies or resistance? Yeah. Yeah. So, that's what needs to be observed. Now, the one who came up with those rivets or resistances, does that person really understand what is being said? Honestly, it doesn't. But the reaction is instantaneous. Even without understanding, it is prepared to counter. No, no, no. Now that's what needs to be observed. That's what observation is all about.

You're sitting at the window side of the bus, right? And you are continuously seeing things. The bus is moving. Do you see how something within keeps reacting? Even though you might not speak, you might not move. But there's a continuous something happening. That's what needs to be observed. You watch a long car. You watch a fat man. You watch a sexy woman. You see somebody wearing a skull cap. You happen to watch a dead body, an ambulance, a police man. Aren't these common occurrences? We see these things. Do you see how there is something within that keeps reacting to them? So, observation and movement are simultaneous. simultaneous. Don't do this, that. If I have to make a great decision then I'll stop doing everything else, enclose myself in my room for 2 days and then come up with a great decision. That's stupid. It is in the flow of things that the facts will emerge. If you stop the flow, what will you see? Where will the facts come from?

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