Acharya Prashant (AP): Pleasing oneself is not at all an example of self-love; if at all, it is an example of lack of self-knowledge. You cannot have self-love without self-knowledge; it is a great misconception that must be cleared very very thoroughly, very very finely. Making yourself happy is not at all an example of loving yourself.
Love does not bother for happiness; it bothers for rightness, for elevation. Self-gratification ‘fattens’ the self. Self-elevation ‘dissolves’ the self. Obviously, if you are a fat man, getting a little fatter doesn’t quite hurt you immediately, or does it?
If you already have 105 kilograms, it’s all right to binge a little more and turn 106.5kg by end of the dinner; it doesn’t quite hurt. Right? You are already 105kg. But someone comes to you and says you ought to be 75kg; you want that person to drop dead in front of your eyes. What did he just say? He wants me to lose 30kg; he wants me to dissolve, he wants me to reduce.
Oh my God! Isn’t life about gaining more and more? Now, when it comes to the body, you find it obvious that sometimes it is important to reduce. Right? But when it comes to the ego, we don’t appreciate that it is mostly important to reduce. All we want is an accumulation and further accumulation.
Self-love is an exercise in reduction, not further accumulation; therefore, be it love toward somebody else or love towards oneself, real love is always tough. False love is very lucrative and very charming. Oh, there is such a romance around it- but then that romance is hardly love.
