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i live so much of my past in present. Sometimes I feel it as fresh as yesterday. No matter I am talking about a present situation, I switch to incedences of past in between it which is almost not required. I realise it later that why I mixed the current idea with something from past.
Upasana ji, notice what you did in that one sentence: you caught the switch, and then immediately filed it under not required, almost a fault to correct. That's the ledger again, just wearing a different coat, now keeping accounts against yourself instead of for yourself. The past you're pulled into isn't really about those old incidents, it's the present moment feeling too thin to stand on its own, so the mind reaches for a thicker, more familiar story to stand in for it. The seeing you already did, that you noticed the mixing after the fact, is the real move here. What might be worth watching next time is not the switch itself but the instant right before it, what exactly felt insufficient in the present that sent you reaching backward. This kind of catching, watched closely and often, is exactly what Acharya ji's sessions keep training the eye toward. Might be worth spending time there.
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