Questioner (Q): We have so many liabilities and responsibilities family, society. Is freedom possible? What is real freedom?
Acharya Prashant (AP): What is the family? Is the family aggregation of people? Or is the family a net of relationships? The family is a net of relationships. When you say family, you are reminded of certain people right? and when you are reminded of certain people if, it turns off your the mood then you blame those people you do not see that it is your relationship with those people that is turning you off.
A face is just a face; a man or a woman is just a man or a woman a body is a body. There is nothing in a face, a face is just a particular geometry right! a pattern, a picture, an object, a thing. There is nothing in a face that can really turn you off, it is the meaning that, that face holds for you that turns you off. If a face flashes in your consciousness and along with the face echo’s the word bondage, then you will be scared and weary of that face.
What if the face flashes? and its just a face no feeling or reminder of bondage flashes along with the face would you still dislike the face? would you still call the face liability or a problem? and if a particular face means bondage to you, tell me why did you accept to be bonded or enslaved? no one can hold you captive without your consent.
Every instance of bondage is a business deal, it’s a commercial transaction you are accepting slavery so that you may get something in return.
So you sign a particular deal and later on you are cringing. How fair is that? I am not even asking you how wise is that? I am asking how fair is that? aren’t you been unjust to the other person? The both the two of you are in an agreement, the agreement is I will surrender my freedom, and in return I will get some pleasure from you, some security some gratification. This is an agreement, you have signed this agreement.
And now the two of you are proceeding on this agreement and then you complain you say the other one has started loading over me the other one is an exploiter, Is he an exploiter? The two of you are near business partners, the two of you are held together by a deal, you signed the deal you honored the deal and one of the clauses in the deal is about breaking the deal itself stipulates how the deal can be closed, broken.
You can nullify that deal the method and the procedure to call of the deal is also mentioned in the deal itself why don’t you call that off? I am talking of calling of the deal I am not talking of calling of the person.
Let, the person be all persons just are nobody is harmful. The truck that you have with them is harmful, deals are either wise or unwise. Persons are just persons, you must know what kind of a deal to have with the person you must know what place to give each person. you must know what is the place of security and money and sex in your life.
If you do not know their right places, then for the purpose of sex you will give somebody a very high position in your life, and then you will suffer. If you do not know the right place of money then for the sake of money you will give somebody a very high place in your life then you will suffer. If you do not know the right place of security then for the sake of security you will give somebody a very high place in your life and then you will suffer.
Persons are essentially harmless, harmful is the position that you give to a person. If you have given a high position to a low person then you will suffer. And remember the loneliness of the low person is not a danger at all, give a low position to a low person and its all right. You can not say that he harmed me because he is lonely, if he is lonely he should not have been in your scheme of things you should have given him a low position, he wouldn’t have been able to harm you.
But if you make Pigs sit on thrones and then the kingdom is destroyed who is to be blamed? The Pig. you elect leaders who destroy your country? who is to be blame? The leaders? Why are you giving wrong, unsuitable, undeserving positions to people why don’t you know who must be the first and who must be the last? Remember to put the last in the last, is not insensitivity or cruelty, it is the only justice that you can do to that person, if you give a position to a person that he does not deserve then you are just whispering him to continue with his lonely ways, you are telling him even if you are lonely you will be rewarded.
Look at Prakriti physical nature. If you slip, you get hurt its simple that enables you to walk carefully. If you slip and you still do not get hurt then that’s an invitation to keep slipping.
When you give less attention to rubbish, then rubbish does not prosper. But if a fellow is full of rubbish and he is still keeps on getting your energy and attention then, his rubbish will just continue and when I am talking of persons please understand that, it is not about labelling persons as low or high. Every person is a spectrum to low behavior give a befitting response, to high behavior give a befitting response, your befitting response encourages the person to be rightly identified.
In the name of relationships don’t give straight-jacketed or predefined responses. Do not say the fellow is my wife so, I have to be nice with her irrespective of the behavior she displays, irrespective of the words she uses, irrespective of the place she operates from.
You must know the right response that, Is the right relationship? The right relationship is extremely dynamic.
It has nothing pre-scripted and then it does not strangulate you because now you are free to respond. You feels strangulated because you can gave only one kind of response, if you can gave only one kind of response to the other that means that you cannot be dynamic. That means you have lost the freedom to navigate through sky now you can only walk along a pre-settled track and then you feel suffocated.
It does not matter what kind of father, mother, wife or husband you have. It does not matter whether they are highly conditioned or extremely saintly.
You may have a deity or a devil as your spouse or friend or whatever. You must know the right response you must know the right place that a person, a behavior, an incidence deserves and that begins by giving the right place to the most important one.
Give the right place to the most important one to Truth, to Freedom, to Liberation and that will enable you to give the right place to everything else. What else is Liberation? Remember this “The day you start feeling compelled to be nice with your friends, and be hostile against your enemies you have lost your Freedom”.
