💫🔥An ID card and my transformed identity🔥💫
Sometimes when I look at my old photo, I feel, yes, that is me and yet, I just can’t connect that girl to the Shilpi I am today.
In the first picture there is makeup and grooming, nice clothes, even a smile on the face. From the outside, everything probably looks fine. But when I look at that photo today, I see more than just the face; I see the life behind it.
I see fear. I see inhibition. I see a girl who knew very little about herself.
The decoration was there, but that glow was missing, the glow that slowly appears on the face when you start walking in the right direction.
And then there is the second picture.
There is a small ID card hanging around my neck.
For the world, it was probably just an ID card. For me, that day, it was nothing less than a medal.
I still remember when that card went around my neck for the first time. I kept looking at it again and again. My name was on it, Shilpi Mehta. PAF.
For the first time I felt that my identity was not limited to being someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, or to some role defined by society.
I, too, could have an identity of my own. And that identity didn’t have to come from appearance; it could come from meaningful work.
That day, what I saw around my neck was not a card—it was my changing identity.
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The place I come from has many fixed notions about how a girl’s life should be.
What she should do, how much she should do, where she should go, how she should live—a lot of it is already decided in advance. And many times, the girl herself accepts that boundary as her own limit.
I too used to feel that maybe this is all there is to life.
But after connecting with Acharya Ji’s teachings, for the first time I began to see that bondage is not always outside. Many of the chains are sitting within us.
And if you gather the courage to look within, then slowly you begin to see how many areas of your life you are living without understanding.
For me, education stopped being just about knowing a few things.
Education gave me a way to look at myself.
What am I doing?
Why am I doing it?
From which fear am I doing it?
From the fear of “What will people say?”
Or because it is actually the right thing to do?
These questions have shaken a lot inside me.
And perhaps that is the biggest change.
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What does a girl really need?
Only good clothes?
A good job?
Money?
Respect?
Or someone who tells her, “You can do this”?
Maybe she needs all of that.
But in my experience, a girl needs something even more.
She needs her life to matter to her.
She needs to be able to understand her own decisions.
She needs to understand the difference between fear and a right decision.
She needs not to live merely to fulfill other people’s expectations.
She needs enough discernment to not accept the wrong as right just because everyone is calling it right.
And most importantly
She must learn to take her own life seriously.
I feel the greatest thing I’ve received from Acharya Ji’s teachings is this, an eye to look at my life.
He did not hand me a ready-made life.
He gave me a mirror to look at my own life.
And what that mirror shows is not always beautiful.
Many times I see my shortcomings.
Many times my cowardice.
Many times my ego.
Many times my small, petty desires.
Many times I see that what I was calling love was perhaps just fear.
But at least now I am able to see them.
And once something is seen, the work of repair can begin.
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Working at PAF has not been just a job for me.
It is like standing face-to-face with myself every single day.
Every day some challenge or the other comes up. Sometimes in the work, sometimes inside me. Sometimes I feel I have come very far, and sometimes I suddenly see myself slipping back into old patterns.
But now the difference is, I pause when I see it.
I ask myself
Why this again?
Why am I doing this?
Do I really want to change?
And then I return to the work.
So I won’t say that my life has become completely right now.
No.
There is still a lot of work left.
I am still a student. Still learning. Many things still hold me back. Sometimes old habits, sometimes fear, sometimes laziness, sometimes my own weaknesses.
But earlier there was only darkness, and I used to think that the darkness itself was my world.
Now even if the darkness comes, I know there is a path somewhere.
And perhaps that is the most important thing.
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After joining the Foundation, it’s not just my work that changed.
My way of sleeping changed.
The way I look at what I eat and drink changed.
My way of walking and speaking changed.
The way I look at people changed.
And most of all, the way I look at myself changed.
Earlier, I used to decide a lot about myself based on how others saw me.
Now I at least try to see what I myself am doing and why I am doing it.
And this is where the impact of company becomes clear.
We may say as much as we like that we are not influenced by anyone, but the environment we live in, the kind of things we hear daily, the people we spend our time with, they do leave an impact.
So if your company is such that it makes you a little more aware every day, shows you your shortcomings, pushes you from within to do better work, then that company in itself is something very big.
For me, the Foundation and the people here often become that very push.
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And when I come back to that ID card…
Even today, seeing that picture makes me happy.
Because it is not just a girl holding a card.
I see in it the moment when, for the first time, a girl felt proud of her transformed identity.
That identity was not something she had been given.
That identity was being built.
And perhaps it is still being built today.
That is why I don’t say that after connecting with Acharya Ji’s teachings, some magic happened in my life.
In fact, the opposite has happened.
Life has become more visible than before.
My mistakes too.
My responsibilities too.
My weaknesses too.
My possibilities too.
And when life begins to be seen, the possibility of making it better also arises.
For me, this is the meaning of Acharya Ji’s teaching
Not to run away from your life, but to look at it.
To look within before blaming others.
And to honestly repair whatever appears wrong.
I have not yet reached where I want to reach.
But now I know which way I have to go.
And for me, that itself is perhaps the biggest blessing.
The Shilpi in the first picture did not know where she had to go.
The Shilpi in the second picture doesn’t know all the answers, but she has started to see the direction.
And as she walks in that direction, a little more light is growing every day.
Perhaps that is my biggest achievement.
And perhaps that is the real value of that small ID card for me.