Stop hating your ex || Acharya Prashant, at Delhi University (2023)

Acharya Prashant

5min

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Stop hating your ex || Acharya Prashant, at Delhi University (2023)

Questioner (Q): Hello Sir! My question is how to stop hating someone? I had a friend who deceived me in the past, but then after some time we made it up. But then the things keep on haunting me—like how he deceived me. So, can you please guide me on how to stop hating someone?

Acharya Prashant (AP): See, the wise once have told us that the mind is a very sacred place and deserves to be kept very clean. Do not put things in the mind that do not deserve to be there. So, they would say: man mandir —the mind should be treated like a temple. And you keep only sacred ones in the temple, right? And you want to keep the temple very, very clean, correct?

Now, tell me, what do you do when you hate someone? When you hate someone, do you forget them, or do you remember them all the more? When you hate someone, do you forget them, or do you get deeper into their memory? Deeper! So, the one that you are hating, in a very perverse way, very indirect way, but in a very real way, you have made them your God. Only God deserves to be in the temple, right? But see who you have put in the temple? Someone you hate, means someone who is pretty unworthy, correct? The best act of hatred, real hatred, pure hatred, would lie in forgiving and forgetting.

If you are still hating someone, it means you still have a very strong relationship. Such a strong relationship, you are preserving that person in your mind. Is that hate? No, that's worship. Why are you worshipping that person? I will tell you why we are worshipping that person—because we have nothing better to keep in the mind.

There was a level of mind that associated with that person, right? There was a level of mind that associated with that person. That person might have gone away, but my level of mind is still the same. I had this level of mind, right? Level of consciousness, and I got into a relationship, correct? Now there is a breakup, the person is gone; but my level of consciousness is still the same. So, what am I doing? I am still associating with that same person because my level is the same.

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