Questioner (Q): Sir, there are many things that we are taught in our HIDP classes that go against the societal norms, and following them would hurt a few people related to me but I want to follow them. How can I implement all these things in my life, without hurting the feeling of others?
Acharya Prashant (AP): First of all, let us observe that there are a few things that I might understand but that go against the grain of what certain others stand for. What I understand puts me in conflict with others. How many of us have experienced it?
(Some listeners raise their hands)
We know the other person only in our own context. Do we really understand the other person in his totality? You know the other person only as an image you have of him. Let me just say that it will be extremely ignorant of us to think that our parents will not understand these simple things that we understand.
There are many students who would come up and say this, "I have understood but my parents will not understand." Don’t you think that it is extremely arrogant of us to say that "I can understand but they can not understand and their feelings would be hurt"? What will happen to this HIDP program if I start thinking that your feelings will be hurt if I make activities on Ego, Personality, Freedom, Mind? I have complete trust in your intelligence and hence have made these activities.
I know that some of the statements, some of the situations would offend us. There would be hardly anybody who would have not been offended by something or the other that would have happened in the class. But then I also know that we all have something which is far greater than these feelings which hardly gets hurt. Our feelings are like a storm in a teacup, very easy to come, just a bit of wind, and the storm will come. Such are our feelings. Someone says, "You are an idiot" and you are hurt. Why? Someone says, "You are glorious" and you are elated. Why? Such are our feelings. But I know that you in totality are much more than your feelings. I know that you all have the capacity to understand. I have faith in your intelligence. Are you getting it? What makes you think that your friends, your family members, people you are related with, will not understand? What makes you think that they will not understand? Do you know what is love? Love means to bounce back and keep bouncing back. It means that if the other person does not understand I will try, I will try again, that is the action of real love. Have you done the activity ‘Love is not’? What does it say towards the end? That love is?
Q: Action.
AP: Love is effort and action. The action is, go ahead and try. What happens in the HIDP sessions? At times you get offended and sometimes say things that make the teacher offended. You come up with a cutting remark or an argument. Some of you are even experts in writing sarcastic comments and other rubbish on the paper. What does it do to the teacher? Don’t you think that he or she will be offended? But the teacher bounces back. That is the action of love. You don’t resign, you don’t call it a day. You don’t hang up. You say, "I love and I will try, I will try again and yet again, I have faith. You will understand. You will not understand my words but you will understand that I am trying. You will not understand what I am saying but you will understand that there would be something for sure otherwise he would not have put all this effort. There is something important for sure." Are you getting it?
At the first level, I want to say that we do not try enough. If you really love your folks, please try hard. Try with all your might. Albert Camus has said, “The greatest rebellion is when your existence, your being itself is an act of rebellion."
If you have really understood what is freedom, if you really realize what is love, it will radiate through your being. The other person will not have any other option but to understand. How long can I refuse to see brightness when there is sun? I have no option but to open my eyes one day and realize that there is sun. How long can I keep my eyes closed and pretend that there is darkness? Not for long. Can I? When there is broad daylight around, sooner or later I have to open my eyes and realize that there is brightness. But first of all, let there be brightness. I am asking you that, "Are you radiating brightness?" If it is in you, it will reach the other. A flower does not have to try too hard for its fragrance to reach others. If the fragrance is there, sooner or later it would spread and reach others. The flower does not even have to try. But the fragrance must be there in the first place. Do we have it? Before we rise up and complain and say that we are in conflict with others, do we have it in us? First and foremost, it is about me. Do I have it in me? If I have it in me, then surely I will radiate it. It may take some time.
As I said, if you love, you will be patient. If your relationship with your parents and other members is not just of convenience, not based on the needs, if it is a real relationship, you will be patient, you will bear a lot, you will be able to take that. Are you getting it? Before you become too obsessed with whether others understand it, I repeat, ask yourself, "Do I have it? If I don’t have it, how am I trying to give it to others?" If I do not have clarity, how will I be able to give it to others? If I am carrying all my confusions and conflicts, what will I radiate? If my head is full of doubts and confusions, what will I give it to you? Doubts and confusions. I can give you clarity only when I have clarity. Do not focus on giving. Do not focus on society and ask, "What should I give it?" Focus on asking, "Whether I have it?" What was the first point?
Q: Am I free?
AP: Does it say, "Is the society free?" Does it say, "Is the country free?" or does it say, "Are my people free?" What does it say? It is saying, "Am I free?" The first thing is this inwardness. Once there is surety, you will get a lot of courage. A lot of power becomes available to you and you would not even know from where it is coming. Am I able to reach out to you all? Are you understanding what I am trying to say?
Q (everyone): Yes, Sir.
AP: See, it is very easy to get into the complaining mode. It is very easy to complain that, "The world is like this, what should I do?" It is very easy to say that, "What you teach in HIDP will not be relevant in the outside, corrupt world." It is very easy to say that. But it’s a shame for a young man and a young woman to say like this. It is not your age to talk about how bad the world is. You have great power within you. Realize that power. Great unlimited power! You don’t even know it.