Communication Gap with Parents?
Questioner: So, I notice I feel this sense of desperation or urgency that my parents would get the teachings. And I guess if I go deeper into that, I think that sense is because I don't want to really talk about the other stuff that perhaps we used to talk about before. I don't want to know who's getting married, I don't want to know who's working where, I don't want to know the gossip. So I can see that's my self-interest in just not finding that interesting.
So, I'm trying to teach them or show them something else, and I notice I get frustrated. When they don't feel interested in it, I just drop it and I move on, and I don't really engage. I kind of ignore them when they talk about the other stuff, and then I feel guilty that I'm just ignoring them. I can sense that they feel that I've just kind of cut myself off and gone away.
So, my question is: Why doesn't it seem to be a middle path? It's either 'get the teachings' or…"
**Acharya Prashant: I get what you're saying. There is a middle path, there is a convergence. You can very fearlessly engage with them in topics of their choice. Don't worry; get into what they want to say, see what they want to say, and if your understanding has any roots, then your engagement will slowly, gradually nudge them towards the right space.
So it's not a binary, where either you talk core spirituality or you talk pure gossip. Out of that gossip can emerge a few rays of light, it's possible. In fact, that's the only hope, that's the only way. Otherwise, how will you make darkness meet light?
Questioner: So, maybe I'm not doing this right, but when I usually do this with my parents, it tends to end up in an argument.
Acharya Prashant: Don't do this with an agenda.
Questioner: I'll give you an example. For example, my dad says, 'Why don't you spend time in the house?' and I say, 'I don't want to be around this type of TV because it's selling a version of life that I don't want to live.' Then he says, 'Well, that's just your opinion. I'm doing it just for fun.' And we kind of get into a position where we each have our own positions.
Acharya Prashant: You join him in his fun. Why not?
Questioner: It feels boring now. I would have done it before.
Acharya Prashant: I understand. That kind of sacrifice is needed, go through boredom. After a point, it would actually become interesting to observe why somebody would want to not only tolerate but actually embrace that boredom. Why don't you want to understand why not only your dad, but millions of people in the country or a billion, actually actively patronize that kind of boring stuff? If you can put your finger on that, maybe you will understand more about yourself as well. What is it in that thing that makes so many people remain glued to the screen?
Questioner: I guess to me it seems like…
Aacharya Prashant: something you have left behind long back.
Questioner: No, it seems very fake, in the sense that I can see the fakeness. And why can't you see the fakeness?
Acharya Prashant: Had it been completely fake, it couldn't have been so enthralling. There is something there that captivates. Don't you want to know how maya works? If you don't want to know how she works, you will never be able to avoid her or win her over.
Questioner: Maybe, in some ways, I think I do see what they're doing. So it's the glamour, it's the promise of a different life.
Acharya Prashant: It's not just that. You very well know that some of the best MBA minds are employed in the advertising industry, in so many of these places that dish out the TV stuff to you. So, obviously very, very sharp, very smart — rather, very cunning minds are at work in drafting those images and sounds.
Don't you want to see through their ploy? Don't you want to see exactly why that man is appearing with that kind of face? Because, let's say, it's just a 12-second thing. Don't you want to see how much has been packed into those 12 seconds? Or, if it's a TV serial, or if it's an episode of something, or a movie. Don't you want to see exactly how that fellow wants to play with your mind?
If you don't understand that, sooner than later you too might become a victim, if not of that thing, then of something else.
Questioner: So, maybe my issue is that I feel that I get the consumer ads, because I used to work behind the scenes. I think being able to take it to other areas of my life is the part I haven't investigated. So I know what happens behind the scenes.
Acharya Prashant: Then just revise the syllabus, used as an opportunity. You know, I see that ad and now I see how it has been manufactured — what the opening jingle means, what that color combination means, how the audience's mind is being captivated. Can I just redo the whole math? Can you not only know it for yourself, but also open it to your dad? Maybe he'll find that interesting.
'Dad, Dad, can we just pause this thing here? Here, do you see why blue follows red? Because that's been used to signal a certain thing to your mind. It's not just a random or meaningless flow of sights, sounds, actions, there is a deep mechanism at work.'
Questioner: So, I guess I try to do that even when we go shopping—to point out that this is placed here for a certain reason, this is a promoted item, things like that. But, so, I guess maybe the underlying question is—why do I get frustrated at his or my parents' refusal to see this?
Acharya Prashant: Because you underestimate Maya. Because maybe you are in the illusion that you have conquered, that you have left her way behind. Because probably you do not perceive that you too are still threatened. You feel, 'Oh, the thing is so easy, I overpowered it. Why is my dad not able to accomplish this simple feat?' Maybe it's actually so difficult that not only your dad is failing—even you have not fully succeeded.
Once you realize what kind of difficult customer she is (Maya), you will then not berate somebody for failing you.
