Will I ever know who am I? || Acharya Prashant, with youth (2013)
Speaker: Will I ever be able to know – Who am I? Or is that supposed to be left blank forever? It teases, it irritates and then you say,“Why can’t I find out the answers?”
“I must have an answer!” it demands!
There are two prerequisites for getting a real answer to any question. One, you must not already know the answer. To get an answer, you must not believe that you already know the answer.
You remember the very first question of the session in which we said that our mind is full of beliefs. If you already believe that you know who you are, can you ever really know who you are? But you know so much about who you are.
If I don’t look towards you and answer you, you will feel awkward. Doesn’t that suggest that you know that you are a body? *(Moving his head in o*ther direction) If I look at that side but still speak, you can still hear what I am speaking but you will not like it. If I am speaking to you, then you expect that I must face towards you. Right? Doesn’t that indicate that you firmly believe in yourself to be your body because it is your body that is there, right? Otherwise I could have looked that side also. But because your body is not placed there, so you feel offended.
You have a deep and firm belief about who you are. And when you already know the answer, how can I give you the answer?
Can you please first empty yourself of all your beliefs? That is the first prerequisite that I must not first believe that I already know the answer. But most of you believe that you already know.
The second prerequisite is that there must be a deep, deep urge to know the answer. Such deep urge that you say that I can’t sit still untill this question is resolved. Do you have such a deep urge? Something will come out of this question for sure. It is the most precious question anybody has ever asked, “Who am I?” And going into this question is surely fruitful. But will you even remember this question after this session is over, after this course is over?
Listener 1: If I get to know the answer.
Speaker: (Laughingly) “If I get to know the answer, I will be one of the answers and that will stay with me.”
(Everyone laughs).
The question is what counts, all answers are worthless. And remember this question will not give you an answer, it will give you something else. You will not get an answer, you will get something else. Now he is scared. “What will I get, Sir?”
(Everyone laughs).
The first thing is to look intelligently at your identities. You have already answered – ‘Who am I?’ by the way of your identities, as you said, that you are a father, an Indian and the rest of it. Now you are so closely attached to these identities that this ‘Who am I?’ has been already answered for you. Answered falsely. But you have taken those false answers to be true and you have taken them to heart.
First step is to see that they are false. And seeing does not mean just saying that they are false. No. Their falseness must penetrate deeply, that belief must go away completely, and then you realize the truth of this question– Who am I? This question can be answered only in negative sense.
This question can be answered only in the sense of, “Who I am not?” And when you keep on discounting these away- “This I am not, and this I am not,” then you are left with just one entity. Which entity? That entity which keeps on discounting everything. As I am saying, “This I am not”, surely there is somebody who is saying, “This I am not”.
That understanding which is realizing, “This I am not”, that understanding will remain, and that you may be. But that cannot come from outside, you have to figure it out on your own. When you figure it out, I assure you, I really assure you, what you will find will be extremely precious. That is what makes life worth living.
You will be amazed, it will be beyond all your expectations, it will beat all your desires, and it will be so beautiful, so fulfilling, utter joy! But it cannot happen as a borrowed thing. You will have to make that effort on your own. I can only urge, I can only give you a little push but you have to travel yourselves, in your own intelligence. Alright?
Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.
