What Women Really Want

Questioner: What is it that women really want in a man?

Acharya Prashant: We are generalizing almost four billion people on this planet. I mean, there isn’t just one woman; there are four billion of them. So, they want different things according to their different patterns of conditioning.

Maybe, we should ask, ‘What should the women want?' What women want is hardly a secret, right? They too want, often, a hunk with obviously, he should be good looking, he should have money. Sometimes, they want a knowledgeable one. Sometimes, they want a sporty one. So, these are the things we already know.

Anu would be…

Questioner 1: Lots of secrets.

Acharya Prashant: Yeah, Anu, what do women want?

Questioner 2: Safety, security, commitment, loyalty.

Questioner 1: Not a hunk and not sporty.

Acharya Prashant: You are not adding money to the list?

Questioner 2: Oh, sorry, money, rich. Both. It comes under safety and security. Right, right.

Acharya Prashant: So, safety and security means money, right?

Questioner 2: Money as well. A polite way of putting it.

Acharya Prashant: No, boys don’t always know that, all right? So, they need to be reminded of that.

Questioner 1: Yeah. Thanks for breaking the code for us, for hacking the code. Now, when I swipe on the apps, I know what it means.

Acharya Prashant: What should women want? For that they have to first realize what it is that they really lack. For me to want something, first of all I need to have self-awareness. “Who am I.” “And how good am I to myself?” No?

Unless I know myself, unless I know my origin, my centre, my inadequacies, my urges, my pulls, my desires, my fears, will I really know what to want? So that’s needed, be it a man or a woman. Man will go for sex. The woman will go for safety. And that ancient cycle will continue, the wheel will roll on. It’s hardly any good.

The woman has to be less of a woman. The man has to be less of a man. Another way of saying, “that they need to realize themselves as consciousness beyond the body. They need to acknowledge that as human beings they just have a body. They don’t necessarily have to follow the dictates of the body.”

You have a car. You have a car. You don’t have to leave it on autopilot or something, and then feel helpless about where it’s taking you. You must have the power, the agency, the discretion to course-correct, to decide the destiny, the destination. It is your car, it is your car, you are not a hostage in the car. So, what does one do if he finds that he indeed lives and thinks and behaves in damn desperate ways?

Questioner 2: First, figure out why he is feeling so desperate.

Acharya Prashant: Yeah, true.

Questioner 2: What else?

Acharya Prashant: Channelize your desire. You must know what you really are hungry for. And this much I can assure everybody, your central and primary desire is not sex. Sex may appear overpowering, tempting. But that’s really not what you ultimately want.

Figure out what you really must have. And then, sex will be assigned automatically, inwardly, it’s proper place. Then, sex will not be so much of a big thing for you.

It’s not as if you’ll start abstaining from sex or sex will become a taboo or you’ll look down upon sex or something, no. Sex will be just be sex, just sex. Right now, for us, sex is not just sex.

Questioner 2: Yeah.

Acharya Prashant: Sex carries magnificent notions. Sex carries the promise of ultimate fulfilment. Don’t you see we are a hypersexualized society, that just tells of the inner rot because we do not have inner fulfilment. We do not know what is meant by inner, so how can you have inner fulfilment. Because we do not have inner fulfilment, yeah. So, we put mega-emphasis on something so external — Sex.

Channelize your energy. If you find you are desperate, put your energy to the right use. In some sense, great sexual urge is an indicator of great inner energy waiting to find the right outlet, the right direction. Give it the right direction. The sexual urge will be calmed down and kept down to its right size. We are not talking of obliterating it.

Questioner 2: So, really asking what is it that you really want and desire.

Acharya Prashant: Yeah. I mean, think of a day when you are really occupied in something that grips you by the heart. Would you feel horny?

Questioner 2: You wouldn’t have the time.

Acharya Prashant: You wouldn’t have the time. You wouldn’t have the space. Even if a sex doll passes by, you probably look and ignore. Something far more important has gripped you in the moment. And if you can have a life like that, then sex won’t be such a tremendously important thing.

Questioner 2: Basically, it’ll be that something is bothering you, bothering you, bothering you. But because you have something else to do, so the botheration will become less or not noticeable in that sense.

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