What Turns the Ego Towards God?
धुरी करमु जिना कउ तुधु पाइआ ता तिनी खसमु धिआइआ ||
“Dhuri Dhuri karam jinaa ka-o tuDh paa-i-aa taa tinee khasam Dhi-aa-i-aa.”
(Only those whose karma You have pre-ordained from the very beginning, O Lord, meditate on You.
~ Asa di Vaar (Guru Granth Sahib)
Questioner: What does Karma being preordained actually imply? Don't humans have freedom with respect to karma? Are all humans equally situated at birth, or are only a select few preordained for salvation? Hence, can I know what is preordained for me? Kindly, show me light.
Acharya Prashant: Subhranil, the very footstep of the guru is a teaching. He doesn't have to teach; he is teaching embodied. Even when the guru is stating something very simply, very ordinarily, it still contains a mantra. It still is a method for salvation. The Yoga Vasistha says that even if the guru is casually joking, there would be instruction contained in it. Even very casual gossip of the guru is a method of salvation for the student. The guru does nothing but teach. He does not teach in select hours, on select platforms. We said he is teaching embodied. He cannot help teaching. He cannot but teach. Even if he tries to, he cannot not be a teacher.
He is a cook, he is teaching. He is a crook, he is teaching. He is a player, he is teaching. It's not merely basketball, or football, or tennis, or badminton; he's teaching. He is a player, he is teaching; he is a slayer, he is teaching. You are being slayed, you are being taught. He loves– he is teaching; he hates– he is teaching.
He calls you near, he is teaching. He sends you afar, he is teaching. He is not, only the teaching is there. And because, every utterance, every movement, every action, every breath of the guru is a teaching, therefore, you must know that he is teaching the deepest Truth, the highest attainment in the simplest possible way; and he is very, very committed.
Do not be misled by the simplicity of guru's words. They come from great depths. In fact, it is obvious for complexity to be superficial. Better put, it is obvious that superficiality would be complex. It requires great depth for great simplicity to emerge. But we are not used to simplicity. So, the simple words of the guru, like the ones you have quoted, Subhranil, sometimes befuddle us.
We feel these are just ordinary utterances, and therefore, we just take them on face value. No, they are not ordinary utterances. Behind them, is a great technology; behind them, is great wisdom. Behind them is contained so much.
Just as so much is contained behind a single tablet of some medicine. Looks small, looks ordinary; you can take it, you can crush it, you can throw it away. But, do you know what goes into the creation of that little tablet? A lot. Similarly, the aphorisms, the little sayings, the proverbs, the truisms, there is a lot in them.
So, when it is being said that ‘only those whose karma has been preordained by you, O Lord, meditate on you’, what is it that is meant? All the verses are addressed to the ego–this must be remembered. Who is the recipient of grace? The ego. Who is the recipient of the method? The ego. Who is the recipient of the verses? The ego.
There is no one else to talk to. The guru communes with the transcendental; the guru is in union with the Truth, the Lord. He doesn't really talk to him. Whenever you find the guru teaching, he is actually addressing the ego. At times, the saints, gurus, have addressed themselves as well.
Even when they have addressed themselves, you must know that it is their little ego that they are addressing. And in addressing their little ego, they are serving the broader, the wider, the nobler purpose of teaching the entire world.
So, there's something being said to the ego here. What is being said to the ego? It appears, that it is being said that only the ones who have been predestined to meditate would meditate and the others won't. If you will not go deeply into these words, you will feel as if these are verses in fatalism. No they are not.
Something important is being reminded to the ego. What is being told to the ego? – “You cannot get IT on your own accord.” And when I say ‘it’ , I in capitals, and T in capitals. Apparently, it is being said that only those who have been preordained to get it, would get it. Now, read it the other way. What is being said? “You will not get IT out of your own doing.”
But if you say this directly to the ego, it is merely as instruction in negativa. Therefore, the ego gets both hurt and disappointed. It gets hurt because it is being told of its limits– “Oh, that is so offensive! I am being reminded of my limits. I cannot get the Highest on my own accord. I don't like it.” So first of all, “I am hurt”, and secondly, “ I am demotivated, because I have been told that whatever I do on my own is going to prove insufficient.” So, how do I feel? “Demotivated!”
Hence, the wise saints are putting it differently. That is their Love. That is their wisdom. That is their craftsmanship. They are saying,“You will get Him, O ego, only if He wants you to get Him. You will meditate on Him, O ego, only if He wants you to meditate on Him.”
Now, please see what does this imply: It implies that whatsoever the ego chooses to meditate upon, will not be the Truth. You are getting it? I repeat, “ O ego, you will meditate on Him, not by your own choice, but only if He wants you to meditate on Him.”
Which means, “ Meditating on Him is not an act of your own personal free will, O ego.” The ego is being shown its little place.” Please see, “Meditating on Him is not an act of your personal little free will. On your own accord, O ego, you are never going to choose Him.”
Now what does that mean? Ego is always a chooser. And ego has chosen so many things.
So, the ego is being told that, “Whatsoever you have chosen, is not THAT.” And it's a very important reminder to the ego. Because, whatsoever the ego chooses, it chooses, as an image of THAT. As a provider of THAT. As a method towards THAT. Sometimes, as a substitute of THAT.
You never choose anything for any reason other than satisfaction, or do you? Whenever you choose something, you choose it thinking that it is the best for you, right? There's a little ego, it is making a lot of choices, right? And every choice involves: selection and rejection; left or right; pick or drop.
That's what a choice is about, right? Whenever a choice is being made, what is the assumption of the ego? What is the criteria on which the choice is made? The ego says, “This is best for me, so I am picking it.” “This is what would give me peace, so I am picking it.” “I am doing this because this satisfies me.” “I am being with that person, because that fulfills me” So, the ego, going by its own little intelligence, is trying to achieve peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment using its own discretion, its own criteria. Is it not? And that's how the common man indulges himself all his life.
He says, “ I am on the right path. Every moment I am making choices and those choices are certainly leading me to Truth, to satisfaction, to contentment, to peace, to liberation.” Is that not how we live, and behave, and decide? We are choosing, and whatsoever we choose, in our own little mind, we feel it is the best for us. Don't we?
Three things are kept in front of you, you pick one up; why do you pick one up? You feel it is the best for you. Whatsoever is the criteria. It is possible that different people will have different choices, but irrespective of the choices being made, the criteria is the same.
A, B, and C– maybe he will pick up C. Why did he pick up C? Because he thought C is the best for him. Maybe he will pick up A. Why did he pick up A? Because he thought that A is the best for him. And the choices are innumerable. It doesn't end at C. It extends till Z, and then A1, B1, A2, B2, and then A2, B2, C2, D2, and then A3, B3, and then there is no limit to natural numbers, we know that.
So, the ego is always choosing, choosing, choosing, choosing. Here, the saints, with all their smoothness, with all their Love, and the care, and the tenderness that accompanies Love, are telling the ego, “Son, you won't get Him on your own. Tumse na ho payega (you can't do it).”
Now, re-read– “Only those whose karma has been preordained by you, O Lord, meditate on you.” In other words, it doesn't happen by yourself, your efforts, your free will, your choices, your discretion, your wisdom, your knowledge, your power, your whatever. It's all just too small to succeed in an infinite project. All that you have, is firstly misled, and secondly, just too minuscule. The ant can't move the mountain, can it? So, the ant is being told, “The mountain would certainly move, when the mountain wants to, dear ant.”
The ant is being politely told, “The mountain won't move when you want it to.” Do you get it? “The mountain would move, when the mountain wants to. So, dear ego, you will be able to meditate on the Lord, not when you want to, but when the Lord wants you to.” Do you get the import? It is an instruction in humility. “Have some humility.”
The gurus are teaching Vinaya (humble behavior). Do your best, but know very well that your best won't suffice. At the same time, without doing your best, you won't be able to avail grace. It's like running hard at the airport to get the boarding pass in time. You are going, let's say to New York, and you know that the gates are going to be closed. You are already late. So, you run very hard so that you may be able to get the boarding pass.
Now, did you reach New York because you ran very hard? Would you tell someone that, “Because I am a very good runner, so I reached New York in time.” Would you tell that? That's what.
You have to do your own bit, you have to run very hard. And then, the skies will carry you. Of course, the great distance will not be covered by you on your feet. You don't have the capacity. You'd be carried to New York. But even for the plane to succeed in carrying you to New York, you, first of all, have to do your own share of running.
If you haven't done your own share of running, even the jumbo jet will fail in front of your laziness. Your laziness will succeed, and all the technology of the world, and all the care of the world, and all the transportation systems, and all the aviation capacity, will all fail in front of your lack of devotion, your lack of discipline, your lack of determination.
So, you have to run. But the gurus are telling you, that running will not take you to New York. And when it comes to the Lord, New York is like the next house. New York is, atleast, on this same Earth, in the same dimension as you are. Even if you walk on foot, there is a probability that you may somehow reach New York some day.
But the Lord is not merely distant, he is dimensionally apart. Do you get the difference? You can keep walking as much as you want to, on the earth, that would not take you to the skies. But still, you have to walk to reach the point where flight becomes possible. So, you have to do your own bit.
So, the gurus have instructed you both ways. There are times when they will tell you, “Do as much as you can, come on! Where is your Tapa (religious austerity)? Where is your Sādhana (practice or discipline)? Where is your discipline? Show me what you have done.” They will encourage you to act. And then there are times when they will tell you, “It's beyond you. It's beyond you.” And both these things have to be remembered, simultaneously.
While you have to do as much as you can, you also must know that the Truth is not an attainment that comes to you as your reward, or as your remuneration.
It is not a quid pro quo thing. It is not a software in which if you feed the requisite input, you get a particular output. Therefore, spiritual attainment is always called grace. It is never really an attainment, in the usual sense of the world. It is never an achievement. The ego never achieves the Truth; the ego disappears on meeting the Truth. Getting it? You must be careful because it is possible to be misled both ways. There are people who say, “What is the point in doing anything? After all, God is the karta .
Whatsoever is being done, is being done by Him. He is the real doer. What business do I have to act on my free will?” No, you must act. You must act. Yes, the plane will carry you to New York, but still you must reach the boarding counter. You must act.
And then, there are those who believe that man is the creator of his own fate. That's the other extreme. What's the first extreme? “I don't have to do anything. I am just a devoted fellow of my father. He will take care of me.” And the scriptures give us ample ammunition, to be selectively erudite in defense of our laziness.
The scriptures say, “ Look at the python. There is an entire Gita devoted to the python. It's called ‘Ajagara *Gita*’. Just look at the python; does nothing. Just keeps slumbering. And the deer, on its own, comes to the python. The python just has to fall on the deer. Even when it has to do something, all it does is fall.” And, then you know, a little bit of coiling around the animal who is already half-dead.
And then there are couplets by saint poets, who have talked of all being controlled by Ram. Even a little leaf does not fall from the trees unless He wishes it to. So, they say, “Let me just sleep. Why the hell should I get tired, and unnecessarily waste my energy? Whatsoever is to happen, will happen, by his command.” That's the first extreme.
The second extreme is: “Kar ke dikhayenge! (will do it myself and show!) I am the go-getter. I will get it done.” Both these extremes are extremes of ignorance. We do not quite appreciate what is going on. So man has been divided. Divided since man has been conscious. And these are the two poles of the debate. One that says, “He will do it.” The other that says, “I will do it.”
And, as we know, the reality does not lie on either pole of any duality. And that is why man has been confused. Sometimes, in his great energy and eagerness, he wants to move the mountains; and sometimes, he gets totally punctured, and demotivated, and confused, and he leaves it all to fate.
The gurus have taught us, “Let the ego be a servant of the Truth.” So, apparently, the servant would be doing a lot. But who would be the real doer? The master, the Truth. Do you get it? So, the servant does and yet does not. The master does not and yet does so much. That's how the gurus have taught us. So, Subhranil, are you asking, “Don't humans have freedom with respect to karma?” You have freedom with respect to karma, and that's why the saints are advising you, “Give up that freedom!” If you didn't have it, or to put it rightly, if you didn't think that you have it, why would somebody advise you to surrender it? Man does have free will, in his own eyes.
Please understand this. Does free will exist? For whom? Does free will exist? FOR WHOM? For the thinker, for the person. For the ego. The free will really does exist. And man does live as if free will exists. And, one cannot wish himself out of this situation. For us, free will does exist; absolutely, it does not. For us it does.
Absolutely, Freedom or free will do not exist. But with respect to us, in relation to us, free will does exist. We are creatures of free will. And, therefore, that free will is taught a lot of things.
What is being taught to the free will here?– “If you choose according to your own predilections, if you choose according to your own sense of right and wrong, if you go by your own pleasures and displeasures, you will never reach the Lord, O ego.” So, free will does exist, and as long as there is free will, there is no possibility of being free. Because free will, ironically, is very, very indisposed towards Freedom. What prevents a man from being free? Free will. But free will, as we said, cannot be wished away. Because at every point we do have will, don't we? At every step, we do meet choices, don't we? So they are there; and we must choose. That's our burden, and that's our opportunity. We must choose.
Saints are teaching the ego of something very subtle. When it comes to choice, be a servant of the Truth. Do not choose according to your own personal discretion. Choose as the Lord has instructed you. The servant goes to the market, and he has to make many choices there. Stuff has to be bought for home. How must he choose?
Must he remember what he likes and dislikes? Or must he remember what the master has instructed him? Please tell me. The servant goes to the market and choices have to be made. There is this, there is that, there is that, and the servant is carrying a certain sum of money, and it is to be spent, and stuff has to be bought and brought home. How must the servant exercise his choice?
So, it's a delicate thing. Choice has to be exercised because you have no option. You cannot wish away your faculty to choose. To be born is to be born in a world of choices.
So, you must choose, but choose like a servant. Choose like a servant; don't become the master. But you have free will, and you can choose to act like the master. You can choose to believe in your own personal dream world that you have usurped the seat of the master.
You can act like the center of your universe. You can see to yourself as the sun in the solar system. “All these petty planets, they orbit around me.” You can do all that, but if you do all that, what you get is suffering.
[Repeating the words of the questioner] “Are all humans equally situated at birth in terms of getting salvation, or, are only a few preordained for that?” What is it that takes birth, Subraneel? What is it that takes birth?
Questioner: The little ‘I’.
Acharya Prashant: The little ‘I’ self. That's what takes birth? The child is conscious of its existence. The child may have not much knowledge, but of one thing it certainly knows: ‘I'.
The child is not so ignorant that it does not know the difference between itself and the bedsheet. You put your finger on the bedsheet, the child does nothing. And you prick the child's little arm with your finger, the child knows that, “I am being pricked.” This much knowledge he has. “I am being pricked.”
Who taught the child that the bedsheet is not ‘I’, and the arm is the ‘I’? So, that is what is born. If that is what is born, then that will have a desire to be liberated from these pricks that continue through life. So, it is not a question of everybody having an equal opportunity for salvation.
It is a question of whether all have an equal desire for salvation. It is not about opportunity, it is about your inclination– what is it that you want. You want it, you will have it. If you want it, you will have it. Who owns it and who does not? Nobody knows, and therefore, the gurus tell us, “It is unknowable.”
Anybody may suddenly want it. Ideally, everyone should want it because everybody is born in chains and suffering. So, it should be commonsensical and obvious that everybody should clamor for liberation. Nobody should, not be eager to be liberated. In fact, the child right since its first movement should be yearning for liberation. You see, if there is suffering, there is an accompanying desire for the suffering to end. Without that desire, you cannot call suffering as suffering.
Would you? Suffering means that which you do not want. And if you do not want that, you surely want its disappearance; and that is liberation. So, you could also say that the very desire to be liberated is born. What is born? You could say suffering is born, or you could say, the desire to be liberated is born.
Now, does that answer your question? You are asking, is the opportunity for salvation equal and available to everyone? Well, nothing but that opportunity is born. What is born? The opportunity to be liberated is born. And yet, not all avail of that opportunity. Why? Nobody knows. Sorry! you know. Tell me.
Why are you not eager for liberation? Only you can tell that, Subranil, because God hasn't decided that you should be kept bereft of liberation. God does not discriminate. It is your own free will that is deciding against liberation.
Why? How do I know? You know. You tell me. If you will ask me, why you have decided against liberation, I'll say.. I can never guess! If you will ask me a reason, I'll say the reason is stupidity. It's as gross as that. Because, there cannot be a tender, delicate, deep reason.
The moment you go deep, you will decide in favor of liberation, not against liberation. And if you are hell-bent against freedom, that only means that you are in some kind of love with superficiality. Something on the surface has bewitched you. You are in a spell. Why are you in a spell? How do I know? You tell me. You must be finding something useful in that spell. Why don't you inquire, is there something really beneficial to be had from remaining bewitched? But, we know of human consciousness, don't we? We know how we love intoxication.
Does the drug addict not know that there is nothing to be really had from drugs? But he still goes for them, and regularly so. That's how we operate Subhranil. Knowledge fails; something else succeeds. What is it? Ahh! The knowers have called it Love. Even if you know that the peace that psychedelics or intoxicants offer you is fleeting, and it only leaves you with a hangover, and a headache, and bills to pay, and things to lament, you still go for them, don't you? Don't you? That's how we live.
That explains the structure of our consciousness. We choose against liberation because we have chosen for something very small, very petty, and very cheap as a substitute of real liberation. You could have gone for devotion, you went for drugs. And you are trying to find the same thing in drugs that you could have found in devotion.
Oh you fail, but you succeed a little, don't you? You succeed for those four hours of the night. You say, “Give me those four hours. I am a creature of time. Four hours are long enough for me. Let tomorrow be tomorrow. Right now, I just want to..” And we are allowed to do that, by our constitution. That's how we are structured.
So, we do that. You too might be doing that. You too might be choosing against liberation; you can only be advised. Nobody can enforce it upon you, because you would always retain your– free will.
Then you are asking, “Can I know what is preordained for me?” From the side of the one who preordains, only one thing is preordained, Subhranil: liberation . From his side, I am very certain of what is preordained, but I have no idea at all of what your plans are. He has decided liberation for you. What have you decided for yourself?
And now, don't jump at me saying that, “If God has decided liberation for me, how will God fail? I must be liberated.” No, that's not the case. People do not get the point. God is very, very polite. He keeps his word. He does not intrude into somebody else's domain.
The moment the ego is born, it gets a life of its own. God stops meddling. God remains present, but not as a meddler. Now, He remains present as a watcher. He remains present as a? Watcher. Sākṣī (witness).
In fact, that's what you must cry out in all your prayers, “God please do not remain merely a Sākṣī , a witness. Come and intrude actively in my life. Do not just watch passively from somewhere. Do not just let me do things. Make me do things.” That's what your prayers must be. Because when God gives you freedom, it's a punishment, you know. Freedom must be given only to the one, who is really free of his boundaries.
If you give freedom to someone who is not free of boundaries, that is, if you give freedom to someone who is limited, then he will use the freedom in a suicidal way. You must pray, “God, please take away all the freedom you have given me. Forcibly make me your slave. I do not deserve free will. Kindly, take away my free will.” And this is what is called as surrender .
To surrender is to surrender your doership, and make God give up his non-doership. If God remains merely a witness in your life, a non-doer, then who remains the doer? You remain the doer. And that's devastating.
So tell God, “Let's swap positions. Let's play a little game, Goddie! I will become the non-doer, you become the doer.” God will say, “No no no… a word is a word. I have given you freedom, now go and play and do whatever you want to.”
Tell God, “I no more want to do anything on my own accord. I want you to be the driver of my car now. I want you to hold the reins. I have had enough of myself. I am fed up of myself. Will you please drive for me?”
And he is a very reluctant driver, I tell you. One fat, lazy fellow. Doesn't want to do anything. Just wants to passively watch, and call himself the Supreme Witness. “Oh, I do nothing! I just vest all the powers of doership, in these little incapable fellows.” That's simply unjust, I tell you. What he is saying is, “I won't do anything and the power to do has been given to little fellows who do not deserve it."
They don't deserve it, and they have been given great powers. So, obviously, what would they do? They would do what they are doing. Don't you see what they are doing? They are burning up the planet. They are self-immolating, and they are neck-deep in misery. They are neck-deep in suffering. And the Great dad is…
Questioner: Watching!
Acharya Prashant: Watching. He is saying, “I gave you all the powers. I gave you free will. You could have chosen rightly, and you could have come back to me. Instead of coming back to me, you are proceeding more and more on your own ways. And, you have gone so far away. But what do I do? Once you have been given freedom, it cannot be taken away. And there is nothing except freedom that I can give you, little kid.”
Why? “Because I can only give what I have. I have freedom and I have given you freedom. You have littleness, so you have taken little freedom. What do I have? Freedom. I have given you that. What do you have? Littleness. Because who are you? You are an embodied being. To be embodied is to be contained; is to be defined; is to be definite; is to be small. So, I gave you freedom, you turned it into? Small freedom. So Subhranil, the question has bounced back towards you. Do you want salvation? If you want it, you will get it. And if you are not getting it, simply realize that you do not want it desperately enough. There is such, you know, titillation in free will, is there not? “I will do this, I will do that. Let me try, explore, fix, build, demolish.” And then say..?
Questioner: I did it.
Acharya Prashant: “I did it!” And He (pointing towards God) does not even feel jealous. When you say, “I did it”, he doesn't even wink. If you want to feel that you did it, he says, “Fine. Feel that you did it.”
He won't send down a curse. He won't even wink, or blink. He doesn't even get bored, doesn't even sigh. We continue with this little repetitive drama, and He continues to watch time, sitting beyond time. Lastly, you have said, “Kindly show me light.” Subhranil, open your eyes! It's already very, very bright. When you say, “Show me light! ”, you are actively alleging.
You are saying, “You know, I am so fond of light, but I have been unlucky. Light has not been available.” Is that really so? Do you need light or do you need to open your eyes? It's broad daylight. Open your eyes. It's upon you. Free will. That which we cherish so much, Subhranil, is paradoxically, our curse.
Man worships nothing more than freedom. And that freedom, when availed by the ego, is the biggest curse.
Freedom is the biggest boon, but freedom to the ego, freedom of the ego, is the biggest pain. This difference has to be understood.
Man loves freedom, but freedom.. of the ego. “I will do what I want to. I will eat pizza tonight. I must be free to go wherever I want to go.” That's the kind of freedom we want, right? “I must be free to go to the temple, or not go to the temple.” That's the kind of freedom we want, and that is a curse.
So, let's redefine. What is bondage: Freedom of the ego. What is bondage? Freedom of the ego. What is freedom? What is freedom? Giving up freedom of the ego. Do you see the subtle difference between the commoner and the saint?
The commoner wants freedom of the ego. The saint wants freedom from the ego. Both love freedom. Just a little bit of semantic here and there makes a world of difference.
What do you want? Freedom of the ego, or freedom from the ego? Mostly, when somebody says, “Don't encroach on my freedom!”– which freedom are they referring to? Freedom of the ego. “I must be free to wear the dress I want to. I must be free to bunk classes. I must be free to listen, I must be free to not to listen.” So Subhranil, did you see light? Let me know.
