A. Vulnerability
‘Vulnerability’ to us is a consequence of the fact that there are forces outside of us that are hostile, aggressive and inimical, because we need to protect and defend ourselves against these forces. We need to have armours, protection, defences made of thought.
We feel being vulnerable means – exposing ourselves to attack. What we forget is the basics of duality. You are attacked only as long as there is something to be attacked. And when there is something to be attacked, you would always feel attacked, or threatened to be attacked.
‘Vulnerability’ does not mean dropping your armour and getting hit by the bullets. Remember, the moment the armour drops, the bullets also drop. Vulnerability scares us because we do not understand that the world has no objective existence of its own. How can the world remain wicked when you have dropped your wickedness?
And if you get hit, it is a matter of gratitude, because you did not know that there still exists something within you that could get hit. You did not know that you still had weak spots, and it’s wonderful that a situation arose in which you could see that the world still has control over you, that there is something within you which is arranged ‘against’ the world.
Hurt is always pre-decided. You very well know sitting here, right at this moment what would hurt you. Before some man comes and hurts you, you have already declared to yourself that you would be hurt, if such a man comes and says something to you.
All that vulnerability means is that – the seeds of hurt are not present, that – “I am not pre-hurt in advance.” A vulnerable man is not one who exposes himself to hurt. The vulnerable man is the one who can no longer be hurt.
Your definition of ‘vulnerability’ is just your defence against being vulnerable. That is a very smart ploy, is it not? Give all right things the wrong definitions, so that you can avoid them.
B. Desire
Desire is something that you surely want. It is just that what you want cannot be given by hope, future, because hope is always in time. Everybody wants a weak adversary. This adversary – do not desire, do not hope – is so weak, that we all love it. Let us all say that Spirituality is about not desiring and not hoping, why? So that then we can say that Spirituality is rubbish!
We are not deciding in advance that desire has to be dropped and all that, because such a decision is impractical, cannot be implemented, and also hypocritical. We are products of desire and we are desiring not to desire. So there is a lot of hypocrisy in this. I am saying: Go to the root of your desire. I am not saying to drop it. I am saying don’t be so stupid that you don’t even know what are you desiring. Please look carefully at your desire. Go close to it. Find out why you desire so much, and in that there is no condemnation of desire.
When did the mind start ‘wanting’? What is ‘wanting’? What is its relation with ‘becoming’? What is its relation with time? What is its relation with our way of living, our social structure, our celebrations? When exactly it comes to the mind, that it must ‘want’, that it must ‘become’ something else. May be this ‘wanting’ is contained in the very constitution of man. May be that is what Christianity calls as the original sin – being a man. You are being a man, when you are not a man, so you remain dissatisfied. But you say, “I must remain a man and fulfil my wants” – that won’t happen. Because ‘wanting’ starts with being a man.
You are so small. But in this little mind, oceans must be contained, otherwise you will not get Peace. That’s the contradiction that man must overcome. Being small, he must contain infinities, otherwise he won’t come to rest. Being man, he must transcend humanness. Otherwise he won’t relax. That’s the challenge, that’s the invitation. Enter so deeply into yourself, enter so deeply into your smallness that you come to the beyond-ness that you so desperately crave.
C. Real Objectivity
Can you look at the world not as ‘the world’? Because if ‘the world’ is looking at ‘the world, then just a very random combination of diverse influences, a very accidental, perchance combination of diverse influences, is looking at the world. And what will it see? Nothing, general randomness, not the Truth. Not at all the Truth. Can you look at a person, but not as a person? That is what is meant by – looking at somebody afresh. Can you look at the world, but not as the world? Are you getting it?
Because if you are a ‘person’, looking at another ‘person’, this ‘person’ is surely composed of the influences of the other ‘person’, and the rest of the world. Now it is not possible to know anything. Can I look at the world, while not being of the world? Can I look at the world, while not taking an identity given ‘by’ the world? Can I look at the world, somewhat like an outsider to the world? This is what is meant by – looking at something, or someone, for the first time. This has no relationship at all, with the deletion of memories. That is an impractical and stupid thing to say. No one wants you to delete memories and it cannot be done – even if you try.
So, the entire game is going on. Can you look at the game, not as the player in the game, but as somebody who is standing just outside the arena? And remember, that does not preclude you from participating in the game. You are participating in the game, very much participating in the game. But at the same time, parallely, is it possible to look at the game, really objectively?
Do you know what ‘real objectivity’ is? Real objectivity is when the subject and the object are one. Usually, people lack objectivity. What do they do? They bring their subjective biases, whenever they are looking at an object. Hence, people talk of objectivity, as a virtue. They say, “One should be objective.” And what do people mean when they say, “Somebody should be objective”? What they mean is – do not bring in your subjective perceptions and biases. But the fact is, as long as the subject is there, his prejudices and biases will be there. So what then is ‘pure objectivity’? ‘Pure objectivity’ is when the subject has disappeared. And when the subject has disappeared, the object too has disappeared. So, ‘pure objectivity’ is, the disappearance of the object.
D. Present
The Present is the Source, Present is nothing but the Truth.
The Present is that from which everything emanates. The Present is all, there is nothing but the Present and the Present is not this moment where you are sitting and doing something. All this is sheer memory and movement in time. Present is not a moment at all and to say that, ‘Live in the Present’ does not mean that do what you are doing right now and think of this and that. All that is a very limited way of looking at things. The Present is ‘what is’. It is the Truth itself, the Source itself.
The Present never changes. Mind changes and time changes. The Present is always there at its place. It has nowhere to go. There is only the Present. Present is a mystical experience in itself. Present is not a sensory experience that if you can see it with your eyes, then this is the Present. You can take the Present, as an image, as a huge container, in which lot is happening. The container goes nowhere, it is there. Within it everything is happening, within it is time. So, things appear like changing. Within the Present lies the whole of time.
Nothing is moving. Only your mind is moving. Nothing happens and that is the Present. You are in the Present only when you realize that nothing is happening, otherwise you are not in the Present. It’s not so easy, “Okay, come in the Present, let’s all be in the Present moment”. It’s not that. In the Present, ‘you are not you’, the Present is. So, there can be no personal Present. The Present is completely impersonal. Impersonal, unchangeable and unlimited. So the Present is not at all this moment.