They Are Not in You Out of Love; Kick Them Out
Questioner: First of all, thank you. How do I relate with myself or with others or with everything in general, because everything is in a flux. Having somebody as a master of his own mind is a rarity, I believe. So, how does one live in such a chaotic world? And with himself he can probably become more responsible, but he cannot take responsibility for the other. So, how does one really conduct in this world? Thank you.
Acharya Prashant: See, all the occupants of the house are actually trespassers and encroachers, right? The house is yours. Don’t you love your house? If you love your house, would you ask how do I get it vacated? Go and kick the damn occupiers out! They are not in you out of love. They are in you as an act of violence. They have come to make an imprint on you. They are impressing their presence on your impressionable mind, on your delicate mind. This is violence. Now, why do you want to harbor them? Why provide them shelter?
And remember, the law is with you—the law of existence. If you don’t want this invalid occupation to continue, it can’t. See, please understand, have you given every single person in the world decent space in your mind? Is that the case?
So, who are the people or thoughts or stuff that has managed to find a nice place, a strong foothold in your mind? The ones you relate to, the ones you allowed entry to. Otherwise, they have no power to occupy you. And why do you allow them entry? You must have seen some profit, or you might have been unconscious.
You’re drunk and sleeping with the gate flung wide open, so what happens then? Strangers just come over, and they start occupying your place. And even when you gain some consciousness, they fool you, and also they drug you, so that you remain unconscious and, therefore, not resistive to their presence.
If you gain full consciousness, will you tolerate their presence anymore? So, first of all, they will enter when you are unconscious. And secondly, they will keep drugging you, so that you remain unconscious, right?
But all said and done, the house is yours. Wake up! Get up! And command ownership, won’t you? I repeat, all these are not in you out of love. If someone comes to your door in love, by all means, open the door and welcome. But be honest with yourself, is it love? Is it love? We had said these people fight with each other, right? We had said there is always in-house strife.
We didn’t say why these people fight with each other. Do you know why they fight so much with each other? They fight with each other to decide which of them will rule you and exploit you the most. The winner amongst them gets to exploit you, torment you, and rape you. That’s why they fight. That’s the domination they crave. Are you getting it?
We could go deeper into it and say, you know, that these foreign influences exist in the first place because you are unconscious. Once you get up and roar aloud, you don’t even need to fight them—they are gone. But whatever be the case, the fact is they exist as long as your ignorance and your unconsciousness does. I repeat, they are not lovers, they are not friends. Your tendencies do you no good; Don’t side with them; Don’t favor them; Don’t protect them.
If you refuse them safe sanctuary, they won’t have a place to hide. They are as good as gone the moment you resolve. Their presence in you is not really a forcible occupation. Their presence in you is a thing sanctioned by you. Withdraw the sanction! Be ruthless! In a few matters one should not be accommodative. Don’t give an inch! Put your foot down, and stay put. Be very unremitting, unyielding.
The word for that is ‘Nirmam’ — you are not mine. It is instructive that the word ‘Nirmam’ has a pejorative meaning in layman language. There it means cruel, but Nirmam actually is a beautiful word. Nirmam means not mine. You’re not mine, why must I shelter you? You’re not mine—no. You are no well wisher. You are no lover. I will be nirmam. If this is cruelty, you need this kind of cruelty. It is a very life-affirmative cruelty.
