Real carnal love, real worldly love, is not about trying to gain something from the other, or trying to bring happiness to the other, trying to exchange pleasures with the other. It is about seeing that the other is so much like you. It is a bit intricate, please understand.
You see that the other is so much like you. And who are you? You are the suffering one. Why are you suffering? Because you want That and you do not have That. The other, too, is just like you: he too wants That and he does not have That. He too is suffering. This realization of commonness between you and the other is love.