Competition and Stress in Student Life
Acharya Prashant: What is it that gives you stress? How many of you feel stressed, let’s say, at least a couple of times in the week? Quite a few! All right! What is it you feel stressed about? Just speak up, I’m here. Without the mic just speak up.
What is it you feel stressed about? GPA, and deadlines and assignments, and getting jobs, placements, and? Train travels — commuting to-and-fro from the campus. Okay, and? Performance in terms of grades, okay! And? So, that’s okay. Itna to hamara bhi tha (this much was ours also). So, not much has changed. Just the train part was not there. But everything else we too experienced. Right?
See It’s all right to have a particular level of stress, it keeps you disciplined. The problem is when, stress becomes everything for you. When you lose sight of joy, of freedom, of attainment, and start feeling overwhelmed by stress. The stress is okay, you must learn to crack jokes when stressed, and those jokes will have a special flavour.
There is tension in the mind, and I turn my own tension into a joke on myself. So, right now there is so much tension within me – some kind of sponty PJ (poor joke). Close to the breaking point, something on the Young’s modulus, stress and strain. Turn your own situation into a joke. It’s okay, there’s nobody who can live without stress and it is not even not even desirable, that one lives with zero stress. You should have however; things in life, that are bigger than your stress. You must know the right and relative place of everything.
There is something you feel stressed about, the stress is all right, but then there are far more important things in life. Life and existence itself are more important than anything in life.
So, before I came here, I was at IIT Bombay from there I went and checked into a hotel, and then came here. And yes, time pressure was there, definitely. Right? And this was actually scheduled at 5 pm. Originally, the time I was supposed to be here was five, and then I was told no a little later 5:30 then 5:45 and things happened.
So, that stress was there. You’re not the only one, who feel stressed coming to your Institute, even I experienced that tension coming to your Institute, there is something special here. It’s just that you probably take the train, and I was in another vehicle. And, I was wondering will I be here in time? Will the students be kept waiting for me? Bad thing! That’s okay.
How did I cope with the stress, my fellow passengers will tell you — I fell asleep! And, then somebody woke me up, “Sir, two more minutes we are entering the campus.” And then I am, “Okay.”
Who wants to live with stress, there are more useful things to do, there are better ways to utilize your time, sleeping was a good way to utilize my time. Otherwise, what’s the point in just staring at the bumper and the number plates of the vehicle in front of you, and that’s what you do in Mumbai all the time. If the eyes are open, all they’ll see is the bumpers, the number plates, and the chaos on the streets. Sleep! I’m not saying you must start sleeping, when… I deal in a lot of symbolism. So, bear with me.
If you deal rightly with stress, stress is a friend. It crystallizes something within you, it makes you stronger.
But if you do not know the right place of stress in life, then stress becomes threatening — It becomes anti-life, to the extent that it can lead to physical diseases, and it reduces your ability to work, to concentrate, to think, to be meditative all that will suffer.
Next time you are in a stressful position or period, try to take it lightly. Try to turn it into a joke. Try to laugh at yourself. Try to remember all the previous instances when you were stressed out; what happened to those instances? They passed. Right?
So, as the sufis say, “This too shall pass.”
“I was stressed out for exactly the same reason last Sunday, what happened to all that stress? What happened to that episode?” It passed. So, this period too should not be too big on me, this too shall pass.
Competitiveness too; is the same thing, much the same thing. Even I have been highly competitive, I think I still am. When I’m playing with someone, I do keep an eye on the scoreboard. When I’m playing with someone and I’m lagging-trailing, being defeated — I want to win. Right?
Competitiveness should be used to bring out the best in you. The problem is when competitiveness brings out the worst in you. If you find yourself lagging behind someone; ask yourself, “Is it the best that I can be? Or, “Is there hidden potential, that I am not choosing to reveal, to manifest, to dig out?” And, let me assure each one of you, you are more powerful, beautiful, and greater than you can ever imagine. But all that remains hidden within just as an unexpressed potential. You know what, most people die, carrying that potential within, without ever seeing it expressed. They do not even know, what they were capable of? And, they die! Don’t let that happen to you.
When challenged, when defeated, when cornered — just remember that, whatever is the level of your work, your performance, you can be far better than that. It depends on, how much you want to put into it? It depends on your choice to commit yourself more to the thing you want to excel in. It depends on your choice to withdraw your inner resources from all the wasteful miscellaneous places, and concentrate those resources on the one thing that matters.
Are you getting it?
This (giving example of a cup) might cost me 200 rupees, right? And, I might have two thousand rupees. But what if I have committed 500 to this, 1000 to that, 100 to this, 50 to that, this this and I’m left with just 10 Rupees. And, when this comes up as a challenge, as an opportunity, requiring rupees 200, what do I have to offer? Rupees?
We have inert gases here, or what? No reaction! How much do I have to offer?
Audience: 10 Rupees
Acharya Prashant: How much do I have? Two thousand! What would have I done with the 2000 that I have? I have squandered it here and there. I have so much, I have 10 times more than what it requires to win this one. But still I am being defeated. Why am I being defeated? Am I really so poor? “No, I’m not poor. I am just unwise.” “I’m making bad choices. I am putting my money, where it not really is needed or useful.”
“How do I win this challenge?” “Withdraw my resources from the various places.” Withdraw! And, concentrate! Or, “I could just get into a wild and petty negotiation with this one.”
Oh, you’re not worth 200. Or I could say, “I want to break this into 20 pieces.” You say, “This is 200, out of the 20 pieces, each one would be rupees 10 and then I’ll be victorious. Because, 10 is what I have.” And, that’s the worst that comes out of you, when you are competitive.
Instead of; remembering your potential, and concentrating your resources, you start destroying the challenger, the opponent, the competitor. That’s what most people do usually. They don’t want to remember, that their worth is far greater than 10 Rupees, that they can rise to 200 or 2000 from their current level of 10.
They don’t want to do that, because that would involve making choices, that would involve withdrawing effort and attention from useless places. They don’t do that, instead they pull the competitor down. They say, “This one is competing with me, I’ll destroy it into 10 pieces.” Is that worth it? How has that helped you? You began at 10, and you remained at 10. Have you risen? Have you become richer? Have you become better? No, instead you have consoled yourself with a petty victory.
How has the victory come about? By attacking your opponent. Don’t attack your opponent. Become greater than your opponent! And, you can become greater than everything and everybody possible. It is in you! You just have to forget, you have to un-remember that you are small and pity, and helpless, and powerless! This feeling has gotten too deeply into us, “Oh, but I am a little person.” “But sir how will I fight the world?” “All I am is a little girl.” “I’m sorry, how is it possible for you know me to tackle challenges?” “I was never very brilliant academically.” “I never secured even 80 percent and here again, I am trailing in my class.” And, “I’m five feet three and you are telling me I am a world beater?” Yes, you are! Potentially!
That potential in Vedant is referred to as — Anantata! What does that mean? Infinity. Your potential stops nowhere. At no point, can a limit be set to your potential. You insult yourself, you degrade yourself, when you limit yourself in any way. And one sure short way of limiting yourself is; by thinking of the opponent as great or very Superior. That’s the wrong kind of competitiveness. When your opponent beats you, ask yourself, “How did I play so badly?”
When he hits a great shot, my coach once told me, “When your opponent hits a great shot…” that was in squash, ask yourself “How did I allow him a loose ball?” “It’s not that he has played a great shot, I gave him the opportunity to play a great shot. Had I not given him a loose ball, he wouldn’t have been able to play a great shot.”
Don’t tell yourself, “Oh my God I have a ferocious opponent. I’m surely going to be defeated.” That’s not the thing to be said.
Yes, your shot is indeed great all right I admire that, I concede you played a wonderful shot but before you played that great shot, something else happened. What was that? I offered you an easy ball, I’m not going to do that, I’m not going to do that. That’s real competitiveness. Real competitiveness introspects, real competitiveness looks at oneself, and tries to raise the bar within. Getting it?
