Stop Chasing Praise – Know about Ego and Validation
Questioner: Acharya Ji, there was one thing that the exhibitionist mind: it looks for validation from the outside. And now, when I think about it, I understand the fact that the exhibitionist mind is constantly looking for validation. But I find that I’m pretty much like, mujhe kisi ki tareef se utna farq nahi padta. I can understand that it is fake, and that what they understand about me is not real. Yet, when they talk bad about me, I know that it is wrong and that it is coming from their conditioning, but it still hurts.
I also watched one of your videos in which you were saying that you don’t need to apply anything, you just need to keep on understanding. But even after understanding, if it still affects you, how should one approach that?
Acharya Prashant: Let it be, let it hurt, let it remain, see that it is a tendency.
The theoretical reply would be that if condemnation hurts you, then somewhere you are looking for praise. Even if it’s implicit praise or subtle praise, there is some hunger for praise. Or the inner condition that the ego has set is, don’t give me praise, but don’t condemn me either. So there is some condition that the ego is setting on the world. The fact is, the world has a movement, a flow of its own. You cannot set any condition on it. If you are getting hurt, it means there is an expectation, a condition. See that it exists.
Questioner: Will it improve over time?
Acharya Prashant: Don’t keep that condition.
Questioner: And one other question: in one of the Gita sessions, there was something called — Yagya — jab hum apni kam chetna ki ahuti dekar badi chetna ke liye koi kaam karte hain, to vah yagya ban jaata hai. Isme aapne kaha tha, jaise hum koi acchi film dekh rahe hain, to vah bhi ek tarah ka yagya hai. But, does reading good literature and watching good films also count as consumption? And if yes, where do we draw the line?
Acharya Prashant: You see, the right book or the right movie would not be an easy read. It would demand a dropping, a giving up. I’m trying to avoid the word sacrifice, but that’s what it would actually demand — a sacrifice.
So if that’s the kind of book you are with, a book that’s like an examination, a book that’s a test, then it says, yagya, yes. Because there is a certain giving up.
Questioner: And if I keep indulging in those kinds of activities which feel like yagya?
Acharya Prashant: if I keep daring those activities, not indulging. If I keep daring such books, yes.
Questioner: And is that fine? Like if they take up.
Acharya Prashant: Obviously.
