Question: I want to seek the Truth. For me, service to humanity is my means to serve the Truth. This is what excites me and what I am naturally drawn towards. I have been attending Satsangs, and they say it is about dropping your identity and exploring who you are as the greatest. So, I am confused—am I avoiding the Truth by being attached to my passion?
Acharya Prashant: Let me put something very emphatically.
The distinction between spiritual life and worldly life is a false one. That which is called the Truth is not to be attained in isolation or abstraction. It is found in the middle of life—not in the middle of some special spiritual life, but in the middle of our everyday life.
What do you think—that you can answer ‘Who am I?’ just by sitting somewhere, chanting ‘Who am I?’ and meditating using some method? ‘Who am I?’ is discovered only in the context of relationships—only in the context of your relationship with the world, with your mind, with your thoughts.
Spirituality is not an isolated activity. You don’t say, “These are the things I do, and then the next thing I’m engaged in is spirituality.” If you don’t do what you are doing with full involvement, how will you ever come to the facts of what you believe yourself to be?
You already are a lot, and that is your starting point—you must start from there.
I often say that if you want to go very far, you must start from the very near. And if you say that you'll have some kind of contempt towards that which is near and small and daily and routine and ordinary, then how will you ever go far?
‘Who am I?’—how does the inquiry start? Does it start in an affirmative way? The inquiry begins by first seeing what you believe yourself to be. What are the ways in which you are already functioning? So, you must function—and not suppress your functioning. If you suppress your functioning, how will you discover what you have been functioning as?
There is something wrong with your car, and it makes noise the moment the speed exceeds 60. You go to some Guru-Garage, and the Guru-technician tells you, “No, no, no—the car must sit totally still and meditate on ‘Who am I?’ Only then will the noise go away.” But the car must run; only then will you discover what the sound is all about. In fact, the technician too must let the car run. And when it is running, he should pay attention. When it’s running—what’s going on? He must observe what is happening while it’s running. Only when it runs do you discover what the mechanics of running are. But you say, “No, it is a spiritual garage, and the car must know that it is nothing.” (laughter)
The car must run. And when it runs, then you’ll see how it is creaking, how the noises are there, how it is polluting itself and others, how it is consuming a lot of fuel, how it is dangerous for both the driver and the pedestrian. Now, that doesn’t mean that you keep driving the car recklessly. It means that now you drive the car attentively . You drive the car knowing fully well that there is something here—not already convinced that you know what’s wrong with it, but just attentive : attentive to every vibration, attentive to the dashboard, attentive to the sound from the engine, attentive to the temperature. Attentive to everything the car offers by way of sensory experience. Are you getting it?
So, be fully immersed in whatever you are doing. And the relieving part is that we are already doing a lot. We don’t need to do anything extra—nor do we need to suppress what is going on. Just see and acknowledge what is going on. Nothing else is needed. That’s why spirituality is so simple. You do not need great formulations or practices—you only need to be honest towards what is already going on, not initiate something new.
Are we all living vacuous lives? Are even five minutes in our day truly free? Isn’t every bit, every part, every cell and tissue of our life occupied with something? Doesn’t our canvas have colors splashed across it everywhere? We may dislike some of the colors—that’s another matter—but is the canvas ever blank? Is it ever truly blank?
So, when it is already full, that’s actually very good. You just have to look at what you’ve been filling it with. And that’s all. That doesn’t mean you have to look at it as though you’ve committed some great crime: “Oh my God, I’ve been a worldly man. These are all colors of blood. What a criminal I am.” No.
These are just colors. Just know that they are there. And then, you’ll know the right action.
And the right action—like the right identity—is very fluid; it keeps changing.
Spirituality is not morality. It is not a set of commandments. It is never instructive. It does not tell you, 'Do this' or 'Do that.' And if you're ever told such things in the name of self-inquiry or spiritual progress, be very cautious—it’s likely coming from someone who doesn’t really understand.
Your condition at this moment is the sum total and complete representation of your entire life—not just the past 30 or 50 years, but your entire evolutionary journey. What you are, in this moment, is a total expression of the collective flow of the whole stream, the entire evolutionary process—for each of us.
Now, why do we need to go elsewhere and read a book? Here is the book—our life is the book—so close and so unavoidable.
You can’t say you don’t feel like picking up a book today. You do pick yourself up from the bed every morning, don’t you? So, you are picking up your own book—just read it honestly. Just don’t lie to yourself. Don’t call attachment love, don’t call hatred a choice, don’t call fear caution. Be honest in reading what you are reading. That’s all that’s needed.
Questioner: Honesty can sometimes be a problem too. My mind places something in the front, making it hard to see things honestly. How can we see ourselves truly?
Acharya Prashant: It’s not difficult at all. You see, ultimately, it will always be done through the mind. The source, the master, the one behind, might be anything, anybody—we do not know. It might be the pure self, the atman—we do not know. But what we surely know is that whatever happens, will happen through the mind.
So, if you are saying that honesty is something the mind is afraid of, then also remind the mind of the price it pays for not being honest. Yes, being honest may come with its share of discomforts. But have you ever been sensitive to the suffering you bear when you are not honest with yourself?
If you are paying 100 dollars for something, and in comparison, you have to pay 20 dollars, which of these is the preferable cost? Twenty dollars may seem too much, only when you are oblivious to the fact that you are already paying 100. Yes, you are right that when one says A as A, when one lives in direct acknowledgment of the facts, there may be certain discomforts. The going may get a little rough at times. But, tell me, by not acknowledging, by suppressing, by telling yourself that A is B, have you been profiting? Really?
When you tell the mind this, the mind, which is a profit seeker, says, 'Yes, it is right. Yes, there is a price to be paid here, a cost to bear here, but that’s a rather lesser cost. So I will bear it.' Now, it becomes easier.
When you see laughing faces, don’t just see the laughter. Also see the tears that are waiting to be shed. Look at the complete picture. Now, you are being honest, and you are in a bit of trouble, while you see everyone around you making merry. That makes you circumspect and a little jealous. You feel, 'I chose honesty, and I am in trouble, while all these people have chosen deception and are enjoying.' Yes, they might be enjoying, but do you know the cost they will bear for their enjoyment?
Look at the complete picture. Then, you will feel, 'Yes, I am making the right choice.' 'Dear mind, do you agree?' and the inner voice will say, 'Yes, I do.' It is not a very intelligent voice, you know. It needs all kinds of persuasions, counseling, and comforts.