Ramana Maharishi: What is Sadhana?
Questioner: Acharya ji, Pranam. Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi seems to suggest that a quiescent mind is a precursor towards realization of Self. Quiescent means in a state of inactivity or dormancy. However, when one is hurt, insulted and full of feelings of indignation, a quiescent mind is even more difficult to achieve.
Does Sadhana lead to a quiescent mind or is a quiescent mind firstly needed to take first steps in sadhana? What to do when one is already agitated? In that state, even while reading scriptures, it is hard to make sense of the teachings. Is it possible by some means that in spite of the agitation one can continue to do sadhana concurrently? If yes, how?
Acharya Prashant: Sadhana is not a fixed set of activities or exercises. Sadhana depends on the state of the Sadhak. The question that has been asked is a fairly general question. The question says, “Being quiescent, still, silent and peaceful is necessary for the realization of self?” A seeker needs to have these qualities — quiescence, tranquility etc. but when one is hurt, insulted, humiliated, then it is very difficult to be still and quiet.
So, the questioner is asking, “How to be still and quiet when one is humiliated and insulted?” Now, what is humiliation and insult? Is it something outside of you? Surely, it is something that happens within you, correct? Otherwise, show me humiliation, show me insult. Is it an object that you can hold in your hand? No. It is something that you call as an experience and all experience depends on the experiencer.
That which is deemed as insult by one, might be fairly passible to the other. Right? Why did you get hurt at all in the first place? Why did you label the experience as indignation or loss of self-esteem. Why did you allow that to happen in the first place? You allowed that to happen because you were wrongly identified and relishing it, wrongly identified and relishing it. Identified with something that was prone to attack and destruction.
Now when the thing, the object that one was attached to, identified with; was attacked, damaged, or destroyed, then one suffers. One calls this suffering as hurt, humiliation or insult. Now you are saying, “How to be a sadhak when I am hurt?” If you really loved sadhana so much, if you really wanted so much to be a sadhak, why would you be hurt in the first place? Tell me. Please.
If you are hurt, what does that show? That you are not merely wrongly identified, but you want to remain wrongly identified. Otherwise, it is possible that one is erroneously wrongly identified, and when that identification is attacked, one actually feels grateful. One says, “Thank God. Thank God that something that I was mistakenly attached to was attacked. Now I am free of that identification and attachment.”
Instead, one feels humiliated. Instead of gratefulness, what does one feel? Humiliation. What does that show? That one was not merely wrongly identified. Instead, one was actually relishing that false identification. Correct? And now, one is asking, “How to do my sadhana?” Before I advise on how to do your sadhana right now, I want to question your motive.
Was sadhana ever dear to you? If sadhana is dear to you, I assure you, you cannot feel hurt. You know what is hurt, right? The true self cannot be hurt. What gets hurt? The ego. The ego gets hurt because the ego attaches itself to an object that is prone to attack and destruction.
Are you getting it?
It is like betting on the wrong horse. Betting on the wrong horse. Now the horse loses the race. Who has lost the race? Have you lost the race? You haven’t. But you attached yourself to the wrong object. You were betting on the wrong horse. Now the horse lost the race. Is the horse feeling humiliated? No, horse is happy as long as you give it its fodder. Who is feeling humiliated? You are feeling humiliated because you bet on the wrong horse. Correct?
Now if you bet on the wrong horse and you find the horse losing, is it a matter of hurt or is it a matter of relief? If your intentions are right, then it is actually a matter of relief. Now, you have gotten rid of the wrong horse. Is it not a relief to be free of the wrong horse? Instead, you cry hoarse. Not horse, hoarse.
Instead, you cry hoarse, saying, “Oh, indignation, indignation, supreme insult.” Doesn’t make sense really. Why don’t you go and thank the winning horse? Why don’t you go and thank your own horse for losing and losing as quickly as possible so that the facts have been revealed to you? You wanted your horse to win. You wanted your false identification to remain. Your want has been thwarted. And that is what you call as hurt. Right?
First of all, you are wanting wrongly. Secondly, you wanted your wrong want to persist, prevail and continue. Thirdly, when your intentions have been frustrated, you are crying hoarse. You don’t quite look someone with integrity.
Getting it?
Now when the hurt is all over you, now when you are angry and yelling and weeping, you are asking, “Acharya Ji, tell me how to practice sadhana.”
Sadhana? From where has sadhana occurred to you in this moment? Were you ever a lover of sadhana? As if you were always so dedicated to sadhana! Look at your question. I am asking, “Were you dedicated to sadhana really, then why would you have been hurt in the first place? That’s your sadhana, to realize your mischief.
Your sadhana does not lie in acting helpless at this moment. “Oh, I am so full of pious intentions. I really want to engage myself in meditation and spiritual practices. But you know, that ugly, vile fellow, he just heaped insults on me. So, I’m finding myself incapable of concentrating and meditating. Acharya Ji, help me. I am a sadhak.”
You are not, sir. And that’s my help. To say that bluntly in your face. You are not. You are not a sadhak, a sadhak has no time to entertain himself with petty things like hurt. And hurt is such a great entertainment, is it not? Is there a better and bigger and deeper entertainment than getting hurt and giving hurt? Tell me, please. Does it not regale us endlessly? When it hurts, one hurts.
Does it not happen this way? I hurt, I hurt here. So, I hurt. And the cycle continues. That’s life. Get hurt. Give hurt. Good time pass. Where does sadhana feature in all this? Huh? You are saying, “You are agitated right now because somebody has caused you grief.” This agitation is not timeless, or is it? This agitation is not immortal, endless, or is it? Is it?
Is there anything about our states, our fluctuating temporal states, that is everlasting? Nothing. So, this agitation, too, would subside in a while. Once that agitation subsides, ask yourself, “What pleasure did I arrive? Did I consume from that agitation?” Because never is one in any state without his own deep inner consent. If you have been agitated, surely you relished it. We called it entertainment.
But as happens with all forms of entertainment, sooner than later, agitation too would start boring you. And then you will find that your agitation is ebbing down. Right? Does it not happen? Is there anyone who is perpetually angry? Anyone perpetually happy or sad?
Because whatever the mind does, it does for a kind of excitement. And excitement demands change. It demands change because no form of excitement is potent enough to carry on forever. Therefore, change is a necessity. So, your agitation too is impotent. It will not give you what you demanded from it; the relishment, that you sought from it; you indeed are a seeker, you sought relishment from agitation. That relish you will never really get. So, agitation too is going to die down after a while.
Then see, watch, observe how you invite another episode of agitation. Catch yourself doing that, red-handed. And you will necessarily be doing that. Because agitation didn’t come to you on its own. There is nothing as agitation. Is there a thing as agitation?
There is nothing as agitation. Agitation is your own inner state. Agitation is who you are. You are talking of Ramana Maharshi here. Remember who am I. When you are agitated, then you are agitation. And whatever you are, you are that because you relish that.
Don’t talk so much about this episode. This episode is not the last. Watch out for the next one. See how you are already preparing for it. See how you are already inviting it. See how you are so ready, in fact, so rearing for the next cycle. Would you let humiliation go unreturned? No. If you have been humiliated, you are now preparing to avenge yourself in some way or the other. Probably the question itself is a form of revenge, upon the one who humiliated you.
This is who am I. Are you the true self? When you are getting hurt or giving hurt, please tell me. What is sadhana? Don’t reduce sadhana to some exercise, some acrobatics, some practice, some thing. Some course of action, some mode of thought. That’s not sadhana. Sadhana is, I’ve been saying since a decade now, just your deep inner honesty.
You very well know what you are doing. Sadhana is just acknowledgement. Is there anyone who knows our mischief better than we do? We know it all. That’s who am I. What to do when one is already agitated? Suffer the agitation, honestly. When you suffer dishonestly, then suffering gives you a perverse inner pleasure. Check the veracity of what I am saying.
When you suffer dishonestly, then suffering is nothing but a perverse inner pleasure. When you suffer honestly then suffering is a deep inner purifier. Now, what is suffering to you? Ask yourself. A pleasure or a purifier? It can be both. To most people, suffering is unending because suffering is pleasuresome.
There are only a few who let suffering do its rightful thing, who allow suffering to become what it must be. What must suffering really be? Suffering must be a way to cleanse yourself. That’s why suffering comes to you. It comes to you as an opportunity. An opportunity for inner purification. So now that suffering is there, choose what you want to do with it.
If you can pass through an episode of suffering honestly, you may never have to pass through another such episode again. But if you experience suffering as most people do, then your punishment will be that you will pass through the perverse pleasure of suffering again and again because you asked for it. You are again asking for it.
Are you getting it?
Hurt is great, is it not? It is entitlement. Tell me dear, without hurt, how would you have asked this question? Hurt entitled you to raise such a righteous question. Right now, you appear on the right side of Dharma. And the one who hurts you is on the wrong side of Dharma. Hurt is such a great entitlement. See how we play games with ourselves. That’s who am I. The one who loves to deceive himself.
If ever the other succeeds in displacing you from what you have called as your central quiescence, ask yourself, “How did I cooperate with him?” It is your cooperation that allows the other to lord over you, to displace you, to disturb you, to dominate you. It is not even cooperation, it is connivance, it is conspiracy.
Don’t blame the other. Because the Maharishi will say, “There is no other to blame.” That’s the rotten thing with Advaita. There is nobody else to blame. So, if you suffer, it’s all upon you — Perverse Advaita! Doesn’t allow me to have the pleasure of putting the entire world at fault. Something bad happened. What does Advaita reply? “You did it.” “I am suffering.” “Your choice.” “He humiliated me.” “He is you.”
Further it is said, “When I am hurt, then even while reading scriptures, it is hard to make sense of the teachings.” Okay! So, after being hurt, when you were with the scriptures, then it became difficult to make sense of the teachings. Surely you want to imply that before you were hurt, you are able to make good and perfect sense of the teachings.
If you were indeed able to make good and perfect sense of the teachings, why did you get hurt? But you want to establish that everything was alright, the world was a great place to live in, it was spring and rainbows all around, hunky-dory, and then some wild creature comes and humiliates you and then you suddenly start misinterpreting the scriptures.
When you got hurt, tell me, were you reading the scriptures? Were you reading the scriptures? If you were engrossed in reading the scriptures, how did you get hurt? Before you got hurt, were you able to rightly interpret the scriptures? If you were indeed doing that, how did you get hurt? Before you got hurt, you were preparing to get hurt. What’s worse? After you have been hurt, right now you are again preparing to get hurt. Watch out.
