Period Leave: A Gift or a Cage?
Questioner: Namaste Achara Ji. I’m joining from the US. My name is Vaishali. I recently read in the newspaper that in Karnataka they’re going to implement menstrual leaves for women. I just wanted to understand how that is going to really help women, or is it really going to hurt them? On one hand we talk about gender equality. We want to be equal to men in all respects, and on the other hand we are being given or asking for menstrual leaves. Are we going back in time? That was my question. Are we only bodies even now?
Acharya Prashant: It’s a good question to raise. You see, it’s not that the traditional patriarchy won’t ever promote women. It would, but it would keep them in ornamental roles. It might even put them in the front, but would remain the silent driver behind. The point always to be proven and maintained is that the woman is weak and fragile; and in whatever way the point can be proven, it is worth attempting. No?
So yes, women are welcomed to the workplace, and they are so deeply welcomed that even a menstrual leave is provided as a bonus. But what does that prove? That helps prove the same old notion: that the woman does not quite belong to the workplace because of her biology. So she is better kept indoors; she better manages the house. But you see, we are magnanimous people. All the men, we are quite generous towards the woman.
And these days there is this passing fad called feminism and all that, you know. But we are generous, and we are also broad-minded and large-hearted, so we will accommodate the woman. Let her come. But, as we had always known, she’s frail, she’s weak. She’s actually meant to nurse the baby, have lots of them and keep nursing them all her life. That’s what she’s built for.
So you see, she comes to the workplace and starts having menstrual cramps. So very generously we give her a day of menstrual leave. And sometimes the women might actually celebrate that without realizing that a huge point has been scored against them, because that is exactly what patriarchy always sought to prove: “She can’t work.” And by availing that menstrual leave, the woman too has affirmed, “Yes, I cannot work because, you see, I menstruate.” The man wanted to prove she cannot work, so let her be confined to the home; let her take care of the kitchen and the bed and the baby and the diaper. God made her that way. That was always the point. As basic as that.
And by accepting all kinds of concessions at the workplace, the woman has reaffirmed the man’s point: “Yes, yes, of course. I mean, how do we work? We have to take care of the body and the baby and the house, the entire family. So give us more leaves, give us softer postings, give us fewer working hours.” And the men will just smile, rather wince, and keep giving the woman all these things that she is demanding.
And by giving her more of these things, they are only proving what they have always asserted: man is the provider and the woman is the caretaker. Let her be the caretaker.
One day they will give you so many leaves that you’ll find yourself permanently at home, and they’ll be very happy giving all those leaves, because that’s the point that they wanted to prove.
The woman must be left at home. So that’s why the leaves are being given. Now you have been left; stay at home. Happy periods.
That’s not a progressive sign when it comes to women. Please understand. Yes, it feels good. You see, the men around me are such caring folks. One day of leave; now they are ready to give five days of leaves. What a workplace. But if you have leaves and such things, who will give you responsibility? Please tell me.
And they’ll be very happy to let you off at 5:00 p.m., 6 p.m. They’ll say, “But you know, she’s a mother and a caregiver and a wife, so she has to be at home early. So let her go early.” And the woman might actually enjoy that, I’m being let off early. But if you are being let off early, what does that mean for your career? Please tell me. The men all stay there and work till 8:00 p.m., and they are allowing the women to go home at 6 p.m. What does that imply for the woman’s career progress? Please tell me.
The men are working seven days a week, and the woman is being told, “You can work five days a week and also take menstrual leaves.” What does that imply for her career? Please tell me. Instead of taking four or six leaves, if the woman takes thirty leaves, the men would be largely elated. Wow! Finally, she has disappeared from the workplace.
Questioner: Exactly.
Acharya Prashant: Now she’ll do the kitchen and the linen more meticulously.
Now they can’t keep her confined to the home in the name of tradition, so now they are sending her back to the home in the name of employee welfare. And this is more vicious because this time the woman is happy. They care so much for me. In fact, a lot of women will be angry at me for saying this, “Does he understand how it hurts? Had he been a woman, he would have realized what menstrual pain is like. This guy is envying one or two leaves that we are set to get. You are grudging us our basic privileges. What a loser this man is.”
Now, being a man, I know how that mind works. The boy of the family is punished for getting poor grades, and the girl is told, “You go to sleep early, otherwise you’ll get dark circles. Who will marry you then?” And the girl says, “Papa loves me so much.” The brother keeps getting punished, but papa says, “No, you are my pari. You sleep at 10 p.m. and you remain lovely as a lily so that I can marry you off early.” But the girl is pleased: Papa loves me so much; he doesn’t punish me for poor grades.
No girl, you need to be punished and put yourself in environments that punish you, because that’s where your welfare lies. Don’t ask for soft bosses. Ask for task masters.
In fact, the moment you detect gender-based leniency in your boss’s attitude, confront it. Ask your boss, “Are you being soft towards me because I am a woman? No, please don’t be soft. Please come down harder upon me. I’m prepared to take it all. Harder than upon the men. I want to test myself. Don’t kid me. Don’t pamper me. Don’t handle me with kid gloves. If the man does it six days a week, I can do it seven days a week. If the man offers X productivity, I can offer 1.1X. Raise your expectations and come down harder on me. Give me stiffer targets.”
If the women have not all turned off their devices in anger and are still logged in and listening, my advice is: Don’t accept leniencies. Even if favors are offered to you for free, refuse. There are no free lunches. Refuse freebies. Refuse privileges. Refuse unearned perks.
Questioner: It might even mask issues, like people might not have proper working toilets in their workplaces. It will mask those kinds of issues as well. So we are trying to surmount an issue with something else.
Acharya Prashant: You see, coming from a man it will appear harsh. And the disclaimer is that obviously I have no firsthand experience of the menstrual process. But being a human being much like a woman, what I can broadly say is that I will not trade away my freedom for the sake of avoiding physical inconvenience. But that’s a personal and subjective statement of value, right? I cannot prove it. It remains on the woman to assess the trade-off and make that assertion.
Unless I have better options, I won’t quit my job because the washroom or the sanitary conditions are unhygienic or not up to the mark. I’ll try to find some kind of way around the problem, but I’ll not let this become an alibi; “Why don’t you go out and work?” or “Why did you quit your last job?” “Because the washroom was not proper.”
Questioner: I have heard those excuses.
Acharya Prashant: While I fully understand that can be a solid irritant, that can be a major inconvenience, I acknowledge that. But I also know the value of freedom. And when it comes to freedom, I’ll be prepared to make compromises on the front of convenience that can be compromised.
Questioner: Not only compromise, but ask for one, you know.
Acharya Prashant: Definitely. So when I said I’ll find a way around that, that includes fighting for one’s rights, that includes very strongly demanding from the employer certain basic human conveniences.
Questioner: Yeah. Thank you so much.
