Questioner: When I observe then my mind that was calm, at least at the periphery shakes. So, how to observe?
Acharya Prashant: That is the whole point of observation; to really come to learn the facts, to really know what is going on. Observation is not meant to comfort you. Observation is not meant to keep you nicely settled on your sofa. Observation will shake you up and that is why people don’t want to observe. And that is why you are asking how to observe without getting shaken up. If what you are observing is such that, it must shake you up, it will shake you up. If your environment, if the objects around you are such that they must shake you up, then let them shake you up.
You could have asked a different question.
You could have said that, “Sir, when I observe I come to learn of things that are ugly. When I observe then I come to see things that are rotten. Now, how to get out of them? How to ensure that they are not around me?”
You are observing them only because they are around you.
So, your question could have been, “Sir, how can I change my environment and hence my being? How can I change it? How can I get out of this rut?”
But you are not asking that because that requires getting out of your comfort zone. That will require a change in your relationship with your environment. And that you do not want to change. Because comfort will be at stake; continuity and patterns will be at stake.
So, instead what you are asking is that, “How can I keep observing rubbish without getting shaken by it?" Now, that is a very smart question. You are not saying that, “I want to clear the rubbish around me”. What you are saying is, “How can I continue to sit in rubbish without experiencing the stink?”
I do not have any magical solution to this. And I am glad that I do not have any solution to this because this solution will be the solution of death.
I saw a cancer patient. Doctors had said that he could either take chemotherapy and in that there would be some chance of survival or he would die within three months. He was an old man and knew that chemotherapy has its effects. It would be difficult to eat, the body would ache and there would be numerous other side effects. So, he said, “I do not want to take chemotherapy. Let me just pass away”. And for three months he was continuously on pain killers. He said, “Cancer is now in my system and in this birth, I will never be able to get rid of it. So, let me just have pain killers”.
I do not dispense pain killers. And in all your questions, directly or indirectly, you only ask for pain killers. You never ask to get rid of cancer in your life.
If it stinks, throw it away. Is that not simple? Is that not direct? But your insecurities, fears, all the teaching that you have in your head, the entire cultural conditioning stands in your way. “How can I throw it away?” Observation enables the Right Action. If you are observing, let Right Action follow. Or do you observe to maintain the status quo? If change is needed, observation will lead to change.
But you are asking for the impossible. “I want to be wise, I want to be spiritual, so I want to observe. And at the same time, I want to continue remaining what I am. So, tell me how can I observe without getting disturbed by the observation?”
Observation must disturb you. It must shake you up into action.
When I say, “Go out (pointing outwards) and watch” and when I say, “Go in (pointing inwards) and watch”. I mean, watch so that you know what you need to do. Watch out so that you know that the world needs change. And watch yourself so that you know that the outer change will only follow the inner change.
Or is watching a past time? Is observation just a hobby, a habit?
Spirituality is disruptive. Wisdom is a rebellion.
You cannot be spiritual and continue to be in your old ways.
Everything about you is demolished. And that is why it is not for the weak. That is why it is not for those who will start weeping and crumbling when things around them are crumbling. Spirituality is for those who can take a sledgehammer in their hand and willingly destroy everything that deserves to be destroyed. Willingly, brutally, recklessly without any attachment. If it deserves to go, it must go. And what deserves to come in must come in. Who am I to stop that? It is the justice of Truth. Who am I to supersede that? The highest court has passed the order, I can only follow.
Witnessing tells you the orders passed by the highest court. It acquaints you with the judgment of the highest authority and when you know the judgment of the highest authority, do not try to stand against it. If He is saying, “It is rotten”. Then say, “It is rotten, and it will go”.
His verdict is higher than whatever you think. When He says, “Do this”, simply do that. Do not act so smart, do not block His way. Your background, your culture, your conditioning, your calculations mean nothing. And do not be afraid. He does not tell you to demolish your hut without first having arranged a palace for you. But you will not get into the palace till the time you are obsessed with your hut. If he is saying to demolish your hut, rest assured, he has already arranged a palace for you. Do not fear for your security, your security cannot be anyways assured by your own actions. Somebody else is in-charge of your security, have faith in Him.
That you do not have. That is the point at which all your doership resists greatly. That is the point at which there is simply disbelief in your eyes.
“No! No! No! Nobody else is in charge of me; nobody else is out there to take care of me. I am totally an orphan. If I stop caring for myself then the world will eat me up. If I let go of what I have, I will be left with nothing”.
That is what your ego keeps telling you. It keeps telling you that, “You deserve nothing. So whatever little, whatever rotten you have is just too much and you should be thankful for this much. And you should not look at anything bigger, anything beyond in the life”. It keeps telling you that you are limited and small. It keeps telling you that you deserve to be beaten around. It keeps telling you that nothing better is possible to you. Not because you already have the best but because you do not deserve the best. And there is a great difference between these two statements.
There is a man who does not aspire for anything better because he sees that the best is always there with him, in him. And there is the man who is so full of self-contempt that he cannot aspire for anything better because he thinks that he does not deserve anything better. There is a great difference between these two.
Spirituality is not self-contempt; it is self-veneration of the highest kind. It is self-worship.
And when you worship yourself, you will not tolerate any insult to yourself. You will not tolerate any thought that is based on a concept of limitation.
To not to surrender to Truth is to insult yourself to the core. The only self-respect is faith. And it is the greatest humiliation upon yourself, to try to do good to yourself.
There was never a more foolish man than the one who said that, “My welfare is in my own hands”. And test this out. Anybody who wants to enslave you will keep telling this to you, “You can do good to yourself”. That you must act in your self-interest and whenever you come across such a man, a voice that tells you this, you must know that this man is out to make a fool and a slave of you. Whosoever tells you to think properly and act in your self-interest, whenever you act in interest, you will only act in the interest of the world because the self itself comes from the world. And the world’s interest is your self-ignorance, not self-interest. When you do not know who you are, then the world becomes powerful. But they will tell you, “Take care of yourself”. And when they are telling you to take care of yourself; what they mean is that, “You can be harmed, we have some power over you, and we have some control over you”.
It is a statement made to terrify you. Even when they tell you, “‘We’ are your well-wishers”. They are just seeking to enslave you. What they mean to actually say is, “'We' are your well-wishers”. When they say, “We are your well-wishers”, that is what they mean to say, ‘We’ are your well-wishers”.
You do not get the viciousness of this statement. Do you?
"‘We’ are your well-wishers." Existence will not wish you well. Truth will not wish you well. God will not do you well. "‘We’ are your well-wishers! So, you better not displease us, because ‘we’ are your well-wishers." Kindly be very cautious of these self-appointed well-wishers.
There is only one well-wisher, only one. And if you do not know Him then wellness will keep eluding you. Neither can you do yourself well nor can your well-wisher do you well. Neither can you help yourself nor can all your network and relationships.
Only the One can help you, is helping you, wishes you well and is giving you wellness.
Know Him, be with Him, and then you will not be afraid.
You are so afraid.