Love comes along with Courage || Acharya Prashant (2014)

Question: Why can’t I keep my learning at the back-end, and act as a normal human being in the front-end? When I try to make people aware of the learnings I have had from you, I receive severe resistance. Is it important at all to disseminate this wisdom?

Speaker: What has the questioner just said? That the audience here is abnormal. What do you mean by a ‘normal human being’? What is your concept of ‘normal’? The one who doesn’t have any learning. What kind of statement is this?

The one who would learn, would he still have an option to act as if he is blind? The one who is able to see with his eyes open, would he still have an option act in an unconscious way? Deep within you think that the those who are blind, unaware are ‘normal’ and anybody who realizes, is awakened, is able to see, has something wrong with him. He is abnormal.

Do you know where the word ‘norm’ comes from? ‘Norm’ means the pattern followed by the majority. A madhouse has a thousand mad men and a couple of sane doctors. Do you know what is normal there? To be mad. So, would you want to act ‘normal’ there?

You are not using ‘normal’ in the sense of healthy, you are using ‘normal’ in the sense of mainstream, majoritarianism. Had you meant ‘healthy’, had you meant ‘centered’, then that would have been a different thing, but you are not looking at the word ‘normal’ in that sense. You are using it in different perspective.

Then you are asking, “I try to make people aware of my learning, and I receive severe resistance. Is it important at all to disseminate this knowledge?”

First of all you must see what kind of people you have gathered around you, because when you say that I try to help people to be aware, it is not the whole world that you are going to. You are only going to a handful of people around you. Noticing this will tell you about quality of people you have gathered around yourself, which in turn also tells about the quality of ‘your’ mind. Because you gather the same quality of people around yourself, as is the quality of your mind.

If the people around you are resistant to your learning, the conclusion is dangerous. The conclusion is that you too cannot be too open to learning, because oil and water cannot go together. They are immiscible. How is it possible that you are friends with people who are resistant to your learning? How is it possible that your entire coterie, your entire inner circle consists of people who just do not want to learn? And if your inner circle is of such people, then surely you too are of them, you too do not want to learn.

So never come up with this argument that “whenever I try to tell somebody about my learning, they do not listen, they are not open to listen”. It does not tell about them. It tells about you. Why are such people around you? World is not full of only mad people, or is it? There are other people and they are everywhere. You do not need to go to another world to find them. How is it that you choose only those who are living blindfolded?

You are saying, “When I speak, people do not listen to me. So what is the point in disseminating this wisdom?” There is a patient and his disease is that he thinks himself to be ‘normal’. He does not want to take the medicine. And he does not want to take medicine exactly because he thinks that he is ‘normal’. You go to him with medicines and he does not take the medicines.

You are asking, “What is the point in giving the medicine to that patient, because every time I go to him, he resists?” The more he resists you, the more it is certain that he is a patient. The more someone resists learning, the more it is a proof of his sickness. Now, if you really are a friend, what would you do with such a person? Leave him and say, “You know, he does not want to listen to me. Why should I enforce myself? This is a liberal democracy, and everybody is entitled to his opinions, views and lifestyle. Why should I interfere and how can I interfere? To each his own…” These kind of words? Would you shy away from your responsibility?

Do you understand love? Do you understand the meaning of care and compassion? For example, you have a child. Children are often very resistant to medicines. The moment you take the medicine to a child, what does he do? He does not want to take it. But if you are a mother or a father, or anybody who loves a child, what would you do? You would use all your energy and patience from your love and say, “Come whatever may, this medicine is important for this child, and I will deliver it. If not in this form, then in some other form. I cannot let the kid die.”

This is not only about you. Several people have this notion that to know, to realize, to act wisely, is some kind of an eccentricity. To act wisely is to be away from the mainstream, is to be away from the center of the world. In fact, some people almost feel guilty. “Oh my God! How can I forgive myself for knowing a Sanskrit verse, a shloka ! It is so uncool.” And in their gatherings, meetings, they would want to hide this part of their being. They will try to act as per the norm. And that happens with so many of us here. Doesn’t that happen to so many of you sitting here? Don’t you do that? Are not you ashamed of it?

You sit here like students, like seekers of knowing, like those who really want to live their life wisely. And when you go out, you act as another sheep. You try to merge in the crowd, you want to belong to the world, you do not want to look like an outcast. You experience so much pressure of the society, that you want to prove that you are an insider to them. No wisdom, no Kabir , no Ashtavakra . How do you tolerate that? If you are doing this, it will eat your mind up. You are subjecting yourselves to torture, because you are afraid of the society.

Look how desperate you are to prove that you belong to the society. You will not do anything that will prove you an outsider.

Today I had visited the corporate office of one of the largest American MNCs. I was wearing this kurta , that I am wearing right now. After a while there, I realized that people were looking at me with wonder. I realized that how difficult it is for them to even dress up a little unconventionally. And this event was not even about individuality, it was just about being a little unconventional. Not everyone who is unconventional, is an individual.

(Looking at the questioner) You cannot resist the pressure of those glances, those stares. Afraid! You start shivering. And that was the reason I said that you must announce very clearly that you are not one of them. Because to be one of them means that you cannot help them.

Do you realize this? If the doctor announces to a crowd of his patients that he is one of them, do you know what does it mean? It means that the patient has no hope anymore. Because if the doctor is one of the patients, then what hope is there for the patient?

You will have to go out and announce very loudly, “I am what I am”. That is why it has been made compulsory to put all your learning on your Facebook account, on Whatsapp, on all kinds of social media. You have to declare it boldly to the world. Declare it not because you hate the world, but because you love the world.

Only when you declare it to the world that you live differently, and have found meaning in living this way, only then some of them, out of sheer curiosity, will get attracted to you. They will try to know that what is it that makes this fellow joyful. They will try to know that how is it possible that you are able to resist the pressure of thousands of them, and live in your own peculiar ways. “How is it possible?” And that will be your help to them.

You have to go out, and announce. You can’t hide. You are asking me that why it is important to disseminate this wisdom. It is not only important, it is essential. I repeatedly keep saying that unless you distribute it, you will stop getting it. What else does paao aur gaao – get and give – mean?

Do not console yourself by saying, “You know I have learnt what I had to learn, and my learning is deepseated in my heart. Why should I expose it to people?” If it is in your heart, it will be in your every word. It will be in your stare, in your glance and in your every breath. Do not come up with this kind of a fragmented logic that you can be one person within, and a very social being outside. No, it is not possible.

If it is there is in your heart, it will show up in the way you dress up, it will show up in the language you use, it will show up in the kind of people you are found with. It will show up in the food you eat, it will show up in the vehicle you choose, it will show up in the places you visit. It will show up in the company you keep, and it will show up in every single movement of the mind and the body.

You are asking me, “Why can’t I be just what I am, and not talk about it to anybody else?” How will you do that? What kind of lover is that who dare not to expose his love? What would you call a lover who keeps his love as some kind of a guilty secret? Would you want to go out with such a man or a woman who only has a clandestine relationship with you, and does not want to expose it? People do that. That’s what you are asking for. A divided life! A fragmented mind! When you get it, then you also get a spontaneous courage to declare, and declare with a roar that “I am not afraid. I do not need to hide it from you”.

Wisdom does not come without fearlessness. Love comes along with courage.

If you do not have courage, then do not say that you have love. Just know clearly that if you don’t have courage, then you also don’t have love.

I am glad you asked this. There are many here, many-many here, who are so cunning in their stupidity. They say that eight hours of their week they will do something secretive here, and in the rest of their time, they will act like a social animal: in their so-called normal job, normal family, normal friend circle, normal festivals, normal celebrations, and normal ways of living. They, in fact, come here just to cleanse themselves a bit. They say that entire week they do what they do, and on Sundays they can come here, so that in these four hours they can kind of cleanse ourselves.

We do not want to have any such people here. In fact, I am very clearly and adamantly ensuring that we get rid of all such people who want to live double lives. No double lives! Today itself we got rid of one such man. No double lives! It is a blemish on the mind. It rots the self. It is worse than prostitution. It is an attempt to sell your soul.

You don’t dare to do what you are? You want to act like somebody else? The world is so powerful upon you that you cannot resist temptation to mingle and socialize? In a few hours’ time you will start receiving ‘Happy New Year’ wishes(it is the New Year’s eve), and all that. Don’t you have the courage to not to pick up those calls? You don’t have the love to pick up that call and tell the caller that “you are being stupid, because you don’t realize what ‘time’ is, and you do not realize that in making this stupid celebration, you are only inviting sorrow upon yourself”.

Neither do we have courage nor do we have love . All that we have is our terrified self that would act ‘normal’. Courage would mean that you receive that call. Love would mean that receive that call and also counsel that man.

We are not role-playing here. ‘Advait’ is the heart itself. We are not here to earn our bread. You are not a visitor here, or an employee here. Are you a visitor to your heart? You carry it in you. You don’t visit it only sometimes, it is your essence. Why are you afraid? What can they take away from you? What have they given you in the first place? Do you think of yourself as blessed because the society has showered its gifts upon you? What have you been given in the first place? What can they take away from you? And what is really yours, can never be taken away. They dare not touch it. What can they take away?

The stupid crowd that we gather around ourselves, are they really your friends? Why do you just want to accumulate numbers? You want to fool yourself. You want to quote a large number when you very well know that those numbers are of no use. They will not help you. In fact, they only suck away your time and attention. That’s all that they do. That’s their only role in your life. Why are you so keen on pleasing them? If somebody is really your friend, he would not want to be pleased.

If somebody is really your friend, he would see the truth in your eyes. He would not say, “kindly act as per my beliefs and convenience”. He would not say, “do not tell me things that I do not want to hear”. And if there are such people in your life who run away from you on hearing the truth, kindly let them run away, because they were anyway never in your life in the first place.

I once said, “If truth scares you, then you are surely living in lies.” How can a man who is scared of the truth be a friend to anybody? Do you know what great responsibility friendship is? If I am scared of truth, can I really be a friend to anybody? Let them go away. All that they give you is a false sense of security. All that they give you is a long contacts list in your mobile phone and you feel great that you have ten thousand LinkedIn connections, and you don’t know that they don’t mean anything.

Take care of the One and many will be taken care of. But if you get occupied with the many, then the One will not be taken care of. Forget the many, be devoted to the One. When you are devoted to the One, then many will come walking and the right many will come walking. You will get the right kind of friends.

Several questions asked today pertained to people not having the right company, or not having the right life partner, right husband or right wife. First of all tell me – who went ahead to marry? You are saying that you do not have the right friend circle. Did those people come to you begging to be befriended? You are the one who befriended them.

If you have a rotten company, or if you have a stupid life partner, whose doing is it? And are you any different even today? At a point in time, you make stupid friends and another point in time, you want to keep and please those friends. Have you changed? And if you haven’t changed, what are you complaining against? At one point in time, you enter into a stupid alliance, and at another point in time, you cry and say that my husband or wife is a demon, is a blood-sucking vampire, and at a third point in time, you want to save that same marriage.

You look at the kinds of mind. The first mind marries. The second mind complains. The third mind is adamant that- I will continue with the same person. Has anything changed? The only change is that now you have another notion that you are enlightened but your wife is not, or your husband is not. “I realize, but my husband does not realize”.

If you really understand, if you really do realize, then either the spouse would change, or you would change the spouse. Do you get this? There is no third possibility.

Desperate I was at one point to marry, and desperate I am at this point to continue to remain married. And parallely I keep crying, “Oh my god! Such a rotten marriage!” All that has remained and continued is fear and a sense of inner adequacy that “If I let go what the world has given me, what the other people and society have given me, then something very important will be lost, as if a part of my being would be taken away”. This is what happens when spirituality is absent from life.

I said yesterday, “To not to be spiritual is to be a social slave.” I hope you understand what that means. If you are not spiritual, then society will dominate you. Bulle Shah has said, “Either take orders from One or take orders from many.” Those who are not devoted to the One are condemned to be slaves of many.

Do not get me wrong. I am not asking you to be enemy of many. Enemies, we already are. We already have relationships of disregard, friction and distrust with the entire world.

You can be loving towards the world, only when you first you have love for the One. The one who does not have love for the One, how can he be loving towards the world? One comes first. Love Him first. Get your power from Him. When you will love Him, then you will find that you are choiceless in loving everybody. You will need not to act, you will need not choose, and you will need not decide whether or not to love. Now love will overflow. It will radiate. In fact you will find it impossible to hate. You will find it impossible to shirk away from your responsibility.

Love is a great responsibility. Love is not pleasure. Love demands dedicated action. Most of us are incapable of that action. Most of us do not have the energy, patience and the fire to do justice to love.

Love is not for dead and cold people.

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