Life Is Uncertain, Unpredictable. How Do I Remain at Peace?
Questioner: Namaste, Acharya Ji. I've been pondering over this for a while now; how does one deal with uncertainty and I'll tell you where I'm coming from. Over the course of my life, I have changed the streams, whether it is my occupation. I mean, I've jumped from field to field to field, and there has been no clear set linear path. Not that, that the linear path is a problem; I mean, I'm not seeking a linear path, but the uncertainty that comes with it, that what is coming next, has always left me a little worried and anxious. At the same time, I think this is, since I'm at this stage in life, perhaps my worries are majorly related to career, but even otherwise, I have felt that, even when it comes to family, when it comes to my friendships, relationships, everything, there have been so many kinds of uncertainties. So how could one deal with them, and how does one put oneself at peace with all of the uncertainty?
Acharya Prashant: See, the problem is not that life is uncertain; what makes us suffer is that we try to look for certainty where it just cannot exist, and that's a very unrealistic expectation, is it not? The world around is a flowing mass; it's a flux. They have said, “it's a stream of time, where every nanosecond, everything is changing. So much so that it's not very proper to even say that things exist because, for a thing to exist, it must have stability, continuity, and unchangeability, even for half a second.” Well, nothing remains the same even for a split second, even for the millionth portion of a second. And that has to be realized, in that realization is acceptance.
Then the question is, why do we want the uncertain to be certain? Why do we want the changing to become unchangeable? Why do human beings try so much for security? That is because we are, by our internal constitution, designed to love security. The mind needs a point of no change, and it's a very genuine, the most fundamental need of the mind to come to something, that really is and won't change, that exists for good, that is not merely an apparition, something that has truthfulness. We all want that, if we do not get that, then we feel deceived, right? It's a world of apparitions, in which things appear but they are not, and therefore, when you trust a thing, you find your trust betrayed, and that hurts, does it not?
You leaned on something, and that thing changed; you started trusting something, and then that thing was no more; you made something or somebody a part of your life, your existence, your identity, and that person walked away. It hurts, does it not? And that's a situation common to all human beings. We all want good things to last, don't we? Once you get something that you like, love, desire, whatever, you want it to stay, and you want it to stay not only in this lifetime; you also say, “If there are other lifetimes, I want it to be with me even then, even there.”
There have been cases where rich people have tried to somehow seek an assured place in a luxurious heaven, they will enter after death, and they have said, “We are prepared to pay the price. You tell me how much donation I need to make and to which temple, which baba, which ashram, and I'll happily donate.” And babas have been making merry and money. That's the urge to have security.
Why can't we give the mind what it wants? It wants security; it wants something that does not change. Can’t there be something in life that truly does not change? Why do you want to depend on a piece of cloth or a moment in time? They will change, will they not? And that would be another episode of hurt in our unending stories.
All wisdom is about coming to the fully secured one, that which is timeless, changeless, nameless, and formless. Only there can you have total certainty. As long as for certainty you are looking at the world, all you will get is deception and betrayal and suffering in its wake. So, the wise man, first of all, realizes the nature of Prakriti, which is the world and says, “No, no, no, no, no. I know what this world is like. It's okay to deal with it. I get my food from here; I get my money from here; my body arose from this soil, so I will continue to deal with it, but I will not harbor unrealistic expectations. My company is doing well today; I cannot keep wishing and dreaming that it will keep doing well the same way. Obviously, I do not want it to fail; the company is founded with a good purpose; I want the company to keep doing well. But equally, I will not think of my concern as immortal; it will die one day.”
Are you getting it?
So, the wise man stops situating the truth or timelessness or unchangeability in the world. He looks at the world and says, “Well, well, it cannot survive without changing. Just as I change moment to moment, so does the world.”
And having lost the tendency to depend on the world for certainty, you become then very deeply rooted within. You no more have the need to lean on the world to fulfill your security needs. It's a strange thing that happens: when you are no more dependent on the world for security, you become very secure within, and then uncertainties become your joy because now you know that you are so anchored, so safe, so secure, so immortal within, that the changing situations outside cannot really affect you. So, the total security within allows you to become very vulnerable outside. Now you are no more in need of armor all the time. Now you no more dread hurt. Now you say, “Okay, fine, let the change come, let it hit me; let it wound me. It's okay.”
Do you remember that one? “I'll be wounded; I won't be hurt because now I am very safely ensconced within. I'm cool; I'm good; I'm inside, I'm me, in the embrace of something that will never desert or deceive me.” So, the man of wisdom then becomes available to uncertainties. He does not deal with uncertainties; he does not devise a system to manage uncertainty. He says, “Bring it on; give me more uncertainties; show me the complete spectrum of uncertainties. I relish it. I relish it.”
The more you show me the diverse aspects of situations possible, the more it pleases me to realize that I am capable of dealing with all situations and all their aspects, like an accomplished tennis player. “What do you want to throw at me? Forehand? I'm good at it. Backhand? I'm equally good. A drop? See how I'll respond. A lob? No, no, I won't be found wanting. Slice? I'm game, come on. Topspin? Yeah, why not?” And think of a rookie, a beginner; all he has, let's say, a forehand, and he does not know how to handle spin, especially on the backhand. He's all the time afraid of uncertainty; he does not know where the next thing is going to come from and what will happen to him if the opponent decides to test him on his backhand. Think of his trepidation; continuously, he is worrying and wondering what's happening. “I just hope the next one comes to my area of security,” and the area of security is so limited, and life is so vast. The next ball can come to any side, at any pace, with any kind of spin. No point asking, “how do I limit the uncertainty.” No, uncertainty cannot be limited; uncertainty is the very nature of life and this world. You have to be secure within.
Are you getting it?
Let life take away whatever it can; let you be totally robbed, and then you say, “Aah! not much has been taken away. I have been totally robbed, yes, true, still not much has been taken away.” Then a strange thing happens to those who have realized what life is like, what the world is like, they remain, and they retain a very special sense of poise, even in the moment of death. Even in the face of death, if not the moment of death, they say, “Even this thing cannot take away much.” Otherwise, you see commonly, death is the biggest scare, is it not? You're all the time afraid, something will be lost, something will be taken away, as if life came with some kind of insurance or commitment that it will stay put, as if, did somebody gave you a promissory note when you were born, that you will not die, or that you will not accidentally die. People, most people die accidentally; who has foreseen his death? It's always an accident.
