Afraid of Being Judged by Others?
PrashantAdvait Foundation
Questioner: Good evening sir, I am Mayank. I am pursuing an MBA from ITM Business School. The question which I want to ask is that whenever I give a presentation in between my colleagues or in college, I always have a question in the back of my mind that I am being judged. So, how to overcome the fear of being judged by the third person? I want a suggestion from you which I can implement in my day-to-day work so that it will help me to grow in the future.
Acharya Prashant: Put your heart into that presentation, and then your mind will not be in the audience. When your heart is not in your work, then your mind wanders in the world. There is your work, and then there is the world. Love your work, and then you will forget the world. Your problem is not that you are too concerned with people’s opinions. Your problem is that there is no heart in your work.
You have made or created a presentation just for the sake of some marks or degree or completing a formality, taking up bucks, something. If I love what I am doing, how will I have the space to worry or wonder too much about what the others are thinking?
Think of a cricketer on the pitch, and there is a fast bowler rushing at him at 150 kmph, and there is an audience of 80,000. The stadium is jam-packed. What if the cricketer starts thinking of these 80,000 opinions? What if he starts looking into these 160,000 eyes? Will he still retain sight of the ball? Should he look at the ball, or should he look into the eyes of the audience? Please tell me.
Questioner: He should look at the ball first.
Acharya Prashant: Should his mind be totally absorbed in the game or should he be thinking of how the audience would react if he misses the ball or hits a six?
Questioner: He should focus on the game, sir.
Acharya Prashant: Now, if there is a batsman who is all the time thinking of the audience, what do you know about him?
Questioner: That he is mentally disturbed. He’s not able to focus on the work which he’s doing.
Acharya Prashant: Don’t use words like ‘ability’ and all, talk of intention. If there is a batsman who is continuously thinking of the audience, what I know is that he does not love cricket. Right? It boils down to love. Do you love your presentation?
Questioner: Not that much.
Acharya Prashant: That’s the problem. So go deep into whatever you are doing, and if something does not deserve the depth of your attention, avoid it. You cannot give your best to everything. Not everything deserves your love. Avoid those things. But when you choose something, don’t be half-hearted. Once you have placed your hand on something, bring that thing to your heart. Let the distance be removed.
Half-heartedness is the curse of life. People live as if they are half-dead. Lukewarm lives. Neither cold dead nor boiling with vigor. Just lukewarm, 98.4 degrees Fahrenheit, that’s lukewarm. Let there be some temperature. As a young person, you need some heat.
Are you getting it?
Questioner: Yes, sir.
Acharya Prashant: That’s the job of love. That’s the job of love. It gives you warmth and something beyond warmth. It makes the inner frozenness boil up. There is a lot within, that needs to simply evaporate, love does that. If there is no love, the internal stuff, all the conditioning and nonsense and trash we have been carrying for centuries, all that will continue to remain intact within. If you want your insides to be cleaned up, you need the heat of love, the cleansing power of love.
Are you getting it?
Questioner: Yes, sir.
Acharya Prashant: So, be just towards your academics, your profession, your relationships. Whatever it is that you are into, must bear the imprint of your authenticity. If you have touched something, it must not now anymore remain mediocre. Are you getting it? Even if you get just a small room to live in, let the insides of that room display that somebody young, original, authentic, and loving resides here.
Even if you have an old pair of shoes that you wear, why can’t they be polished properly? This example will not suit all conditions, but please get the drift. See what I am pointing at. If there is something in your life, why must there be a half-hearted approach towards it? The shoes are there, right? Well, the shoes are not expensive. I understand you are a student and the shoes are old and the shoes, to some extent, are now worn out. That’s okay. But why can’t they still be polished? That does not cost much.
There has to be a warmth towards life. Are you getting it? There has to be a special quality of feeling towards life. And I am not talking of biological feelings. I am not talking of lust, anger, greed, etc. I am talking of that special quality. So, if I am talking to you, I have to give everything that I have to you. At this moment, I cannot be half-present, half-attentive. I have an entire organization to look after, but I have to forget all that. At this moment, it is me and you. If I am touching something, I have to give it everything. I cannot pass through life in a manner of sleepwalking.
Be conscious, be awake, be loving. That presentation is not just a presentation, that’s a period of time, and that’s your life. If you cannot be immersed in your presentation, then you are missing out on life itself.
Are you getting it?
Questioner: Yes, sir.
Acharya Prashant: And then, obviously, there will be too much concern for whether the audience has applauded or, is the teacher making note of all the great points that I am making? Will I be credited enough for this shabby presentation that I have made? Allow me the liberty to call it shabby because I have been through the academic process, both as a student and as a teacher, and a professor. I have been through all that. So, I know how teachers operate. I know how students think.
We are all just going through the motions, aren’t we? As if we are waiting for some special day in the future. Today does not mean anything. Today let me just somehow tolerate the time. Please let me somehow just complete the formalities today. My day, my golden day, my real day would come sometime in the future. That will never happen, son. This is your moment. This is your life. That presentation is everything. That presentation is everything.
When you are making that presentation, that presentation is not just the most important thing in life. That is the only thing in life. How can then you tolerate being divided? Half your mind is busy just scanning the audience. “Oh, is she smirking?” “Is he sleeping?” “Is he making fun of me, that one at the back?” “Do I see derision on the teacher’s face?” Divide it. No, you can’t afford to be divided.
Live fully. And if there is stuff that does not deserve your fullness, drop it. Just drop it. Have the guts. Because I fully agree that not everything in life deserves the wholeness of your love. You have to be discreet. The point when you can be unconditionally loving towards everyone and everything comes way later in life. At that point, there are no boundaries. When you reach that point, then you don’t have to make distinctions.
But standing where you are, you must learn to make distinctions. You have to be discreet. You have to see what is it that deserves your time, energy, love, and attention. And when you discover that, you plunge into it, you immerse yourself, you sink into it, you allow yourself to be drowned, you allow yourself to fall dead. Dead in terms of your concern for the world. I am dead to the world because I am immersed in my work.
Questioner: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
