Acharya Prashant: Pradeep Ji is asking, “Dear Acharya Ji, I don’t know what kind of wound I am carrying inside me, that I am having a constant feeling of ‘leave me alone’, towards the world. From morning till evening, I am running like crazy, driving to office in mad traffic, followed by corporate pressure to do things unwillingly. Bearing stupidities of people around.
I get out of the office as if I came out of a madhouse, tired and frustrated, and it’s already night. I eat and sleep. And the roller-coaster starts again. But since I need to run this crazy race, I feel that my blood is sucked by parasites, and there is a wound, a cry from inside, that I am carrying.
I cannot get rid of this wound. I want to jump off this train, but I can’t, because of these responsibilities. I feel I am a dead machine, thrown on an assembly line, or the other things inside me, drilling holes, hammering, and finally thrown out.
I can’t leave the family, as they are dependent on me. And I am too in, some or the other way, dependent.
Acharya Ji, in such a situation, what should I do?
Pradeep Ji, the way of instantaneous freedom , instantaneous departure, is not for the householder.
The ‘Law of Karma’, and the result of Karma, ‘The fruit of actions’, always holds good. Cannot be violated. One is held to the past, by a thousand actions, memories, and the pending fruits.
Immediate and quick liberation is then possible only through total psychic departure.
A kind of a Spiritual death. That is often unlikely. Keep working, you will have to go step by step.
To the extent I have known you and seen you, your temperament is not of the one who can take one quick and final jump. For you, is the way of the stair. One step at a time. That way is slow. But at least, you will keep moving. And there is substantial and significant progress in due course of time.
Now that you have built up responsibilities for yourself. Now that you have participated in situations that make others dependent on you, the onus is on you! To dissolve those situations, to find a way out, and if possible reverse those situations.
Giving energy to frustration, or resistance, will only create more bondages for the future.
That which has been sown will also have to be reaped. Invest as much time as possible in the ‘right company.’
That which you know to be detrimental for your ‘Spiritual health,’ should be avoided as much as possible.
If you are tied to your frustrating workplace because of your financial needs, then the financial needs must be kept to a minimum. If you earn to feed and sustain your family primarily, then ensure that they do not get into habits of splurging.
The man who has little must value greatly what little he has. So, with all your energy, for the sake of your own dear Life , hang on to the supports that you have.
Read, listen, pray. Progress is inevitable. And when there is progress, feel grateful. Do not be demanding. Even a little progress would mean that you are far far better than most people. Be grateful, for your luck.
Don’t compare yourself to the Saints and the Liberated Ones.
That will only lead to dissatisfaction, that will only lead to you getting diverted from the path of progress and losing whatever gains were coming your way.
You have worked all your Life, and having worked you have found that you have worked only for frustration. Now, work for Freedom. Work is unavoidable. Instead of working for finances, instead of working for frustration, now work for Freedom.
You are a well-educated man, you know very well where money comes from? How money comes? And where money goes to? Should it be too difficult to manage money? And you have also been reading spiritual literature, involved in inner-practice; So, you also know what kind of work is needed to still and purify your mind.
Having known all this, just proceed.