How to Respond to Life's Problems?

Questioner: There is some image of something and you are not conscious, where then there is that blocked energy, so to speak? Fear or whatever it is, you act out of reaction. So, what would be… at the moment there is no choice, you are just reacting. What would be the way to respond? You could say ideally, but how do we do it, here, now?

Acharya Prashant: It’s a very good question. Given that we are all conditioned beings, given that we have blocked energy. And stuff that is lying suppressed in the mind. What is the way to respond? Life continuously presents situations that appear as challenges, right? How to respond?

Let’s say, I indeed do suggest a way to respond. What would the way immediately become? You say that you are conditioned hence you cannot respond fully, and the response becomes limited, stunted, narrow, and constrained. Yes? So, you are saying ‘What hence, is a better way to respond?’ Right?

Now, let’s say, I do come up with a way, ostensibly a better way to respond. Immediately, that way would become…

Questioner: Conditioned.

Acharya Prashant: Conditioned. Right? Do you see this?

You see, that which we call our constraints, did it come to us as a constraint? That which we are now calling the conditioning of the mind, when it came to the mind, did it say, “Hello, I am conditioning and I am now going to dominate the mind?” Did it say that? what did it say?

Questioner: Making only trouble in my mind.

Acharya Prashant: No, please, we want to go into the process of conditioning.

Questioner: I think it’s no trouble, we make it seem. Our mind is making it seem. It comes as a neutral thing, It’s just…

Acharya Prashant: There is so much that comes to the mind. There is just so much that comes to mind. There is an infinity of happening, of stimuli that the mind is perceiving. The mind really does not store all of that; the mind selectively stores only a few things; the mind stores only that which the mind considers to be important for some reason.

Questioner: Or can take, in the abundance of images and information.

Acharya Prashant: So, that what also makes it important. “That this is important because this is, you know, that I can assimilate. Right? So, it has to be special.”

When conditioning too comes, it has to be taken in by the mind only if the mind finds it important. Only if the mind says, “Oh! There is something in it I must allow it in, not only allow it in but actually preserve it.” Otherwise, you see, the mind also has a way of forgetting.

Questioner: Just as the mind makes choices on the basis of the past, past experiences and preferences. And what the mind wants to see.

Questioner 2: You know, we are talking about the mind, about the pain body. Like if this is really, like a little man there in my mind, choosing. For example, yesterday many beautiful things happened, and two bad things happened. Why are only the bad things stuck in my mind?

Acharya Prashant: Please appreciate that we are not talking about a ‘man’ in here. We are talking about a ‘woman’ here and the woman is you.

Questioner 2: The woman is?

Acharya Prashant: You.

Questioner 2: Me?

Acharya Prashant: We all exist here (pointing towards his head). You are not sitting on this couch; you are sitting in your mind.

Ok, we will continue with the thing about conditioning, and we will continue about the thing with a way to respond. The thing that he said. (Pointing towards the first questioner)

When conditioning comes, we say, it does not honestly say that “I am coming as ‘conditioning’, I am with the intention to possess you and dominate you.” Right? We are also saying that we do have some say in allowing ourselves to be conditioned. Because we conveniently forget so much else.

Think of this morning, you have gone through so many experiences. Do you really remember each one of them? You don’t. But at the same time, you would be remembering many of your experiences from five years back, ten years back, don’t you? Maybe 40 years back, you still remember that. Now why is it so that you choose—I am assuming for the while that we indeed make a choice—Why is it that you choose to remember a few things and forget the rest?

Questioner 2: Because the mind decided that that’s important.

Acharya Prashant: That’s important, so, remember that conditioning never comes as conditioning; conditioning comes in as safety, security, pleasure, something valuable. That’s why the mind….

Questioner: Or avoiding pain.

Acharya Prashant: Or avoiding pain, which means that it has a certain pleasure to it. Right? Avoidance of pain is a step towards…

Questioner: Pleasure.

Acharya Prashant: Pleasure, right? When it comes, it appears nice, that is why we let it in. Do we see this? Had it clearly said that I was coming to ruin your mind and destroy your life, would we have allowed it?

Questioner 2: No, no!

Acharya Prashant: It is allowed entry, it is given a seat in the mind, and it is given nutrition in the mind, only because it appears benign, not only benign but actually helpful. We say, “Let it in, it is a good thought; let it in, it’s a helpful method.”

Questioner 2: That is what they say, yeah, that is what I say, “Ok welcome.”

Acharya Prashant: So, what appears like a friend at the time of gaining entry into your house, enters, and very soon possesses your house. And then you find no way to evict him. Your house, you find, is no more your house, it has now been taken over by the stranger who masqueraded as a friend.

So, now when you are asking for a way, a method to be spontaneous and child-like, you are asking it in all good spirit. Right? And the moment I give advice you will probably take it in—the chances are you will let it in—because you think that the advice is going to be helpful, you will think that the advice is not an imposition upon you but something that came upon you on your own request. You said that you wanted. The other one just provided it. You will be eager to take it in. And it goes in, it goes in without any barriers or checks. And what does it do inside? Remember that you have allowed in only because you considered it, helpful and important. So, it goes in here, and does not get deleted, it remains in the memory, and whatever remains in the memory, very quickly becomes your load, your conditioning. What else is conditioning? All mind stuff is conditioning.

Questioner: Okay, I feel some constraint here, what you said to me right now, what do I do?

Acharya Prashant: Continue feeling the constraint. Would the constraint be there—please be very attentive to this— would the constraint be still there if you do not dislike it, would the constraint be still there if you do not resist it?

Questioner 2: So, sorry, Just to understand, because I think it is very important, that I want to understand for good. But say, if I understand you, is that when the thoughts and resistance come, in other words, I have to accept it?

Acharya Prashant: No, you don’t have to. That’s not what I am saying. This cult of acceptance is another big hoax.

Questioner 2: Sorry, I don’t understand this.

Acharya Prashant: Ok listen, let me say this. So, the thought comes this thing that you were saying here, the suppressed mass that is there, and whatever is here, here and here, anywhere; or there, there. Is actually there in the mind. And the mind is not actually here (points towards his head), we are pointing it towards here just out of habit. It’s a custom to equate the brain with the mind. The mind is somewhere or we are somewhere in the mind, whatever however you report it.

So, the thought comes, and we do not like the thought. We have a certain resistance towards the thought. What is the thought? The thought is a movement, Right? Something has happened ripples in the lake. Something has just happened, something has started happening, a movement. Now, you do not like the thought because you feel that the thought is harmful, because you think that the thought is not moral because you think that the thought limits you, whatever. So, what do you do to this thought? Now, this is coming, this is coming, and now what do you do with this?

Questioner 2: I give it attention.

Acharya Prashant: You give attention, and what is this attention that you give?

Questioner: It can be either resistance from the thought.

Acharya Prashant: So, resistance, what does resistance mean? Here is this thing coming and you are resisting it. So, what is happening now? How do you resist it?

Questioner 2: I don’t want to resist.

Acharya Prashant: But we don’t like it and not liking is resistance. Now, this is coming and I have an attitude towards it, I resist it. How do I resist it? Quickly please.

Questioner 2: There is another thought.

Acharya Prashant: So, there is another thing here. And now, initially how many things were there?

Questioner: One.

Acharya Prashant: And now how many are there?

Questioner: Two. Maybe three, maybe four.

Acharya Prashant: Ah! Have you actually reduced thought or proliferated it, by not liking thought? By saying that there is something within you that is not alright. Have you taken care of it, or have you given food to it? By taking care I mean reduced it, cleared it, or have you actually multiplied it? What have you done?

Questioner: Multiplied it.

Acharya Prashant: Remember, all your likes and dislikes, and attitudes, and methods, and whatever you do is all just mind stuff. If there is something blocked within you – is it the blockage that is the problem? Let’s say, this moment you have nothing to do with that which remains blocked. At this moment you have nothing at all to do with that which remains blocked. You say, “Alright, you stay where you want to, be there, I am alright as I am. Let there be a monkey on the back. I can still play. You be where you want to, maybe you have a right to be there, but I too have an equal right to be where I want to be, and I will not allow you to take away that right.”

And you know what, you don’t even say this much. Because even saying this much is like?

Questioner 2: Food for the thought.

Questioner 3: So, if you give attention to this monkey…

Acharya Prashant: The monkey is the attention that you give to it. Would you please go into this, the monkey does not exist without the attention that you give to it.

The monkey is the attention that you give to it. The resistance that you give to any particular thought is exactly the energy that that thought carries.

You give no resistance to it and the thought will fall down on its own.

Thought has no legs of its own; it moves on your legs. Just like the monkey on your back —moving on your legs.

You don’t move, the thought won’t move. And the thought cannot survive without moving because all thought is movement. If you don’t move, thought cannot survive; thought will fall down.

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