How to get stability of mind? || Acharya Prashant, with youth (2014)
Acharya Prashant (AP): So we were considering the issue of stability. We are always looking for stability, right? We want some kind of fixed anchor. We also call it by the name of security. Correct? But where are we searching for stability or security? Where do we search for it? We look for stability in jobs. We say, let me have a government job, it's stable. We search for stability in relationships. Let me look for a loyal boyfriend. A committed husband. Not only for this birth, but for the next 7 births. A very stable marriage. Right?
Even when you take a house on rent, you want it to be at least a 3 year lease, so that you may have some stability. That for the next 3 years, I need not worry. Do you see the various ways in which we are always looking for stability? We need to say that I want things to be predictable. I don't want things to be changing all the time. I don't like change.
There is something within us, whose nature is not to change. That's why it does not like change. We want things to be fixed, predictable. The same. Continuous. Right? We cry for it. And in fact we will be very very afraid if we live in a world that is continuously changing. So through all kinds of mechanisms, we are continuously trying to create stability around us.
An artificial sense of stability. But then what happens? What we find is that in spite of all our efforts, there is no stability. Everything is constantly changing all the time. Life is a flux. Not for a second is anything permanent. Life is like a river. It is the same river, but it is continuously flowing, changing. Heraclitus said, ‘you can never step into the same river twice’. By the time you step again, the river has changed. You call it by the same name, it appears the same, but it has actually changed.
We do not like that. We want things to be the same. In fact if somebody changes, we do not like it. You meet a friend after two years. And he doesn't behave in the same way as he used to. And what do you say? You have changed. Yaar tu badal gaya . And we say, infidel. Not loyal to me. You earn a little bit of money and you are behaving differently.
Now he is bound to behave differently because man is always changing. Mind lives in time. With every microsecond you are changing. We want to resist this change. All our life, all we are doing is to somehow stop the flow of time. We somehow want to freeze the river. We want to freeze the river. We want to say, this movement should become permanent.
Don't we say that? And don't we sing songs in which we say, how I wish that this moment could continue till eternity. Have you not heard songs of that nature? That I really wish that this movement could continue the eternity. This is our search for stability.
But this is such a futile search. Useless. Because, as we just said, it is life's nature to continuously change. We are creatures of time. Mind is time. And time means change. If there is no change, time will stop. If there is no change, time will stop. So does that mean that we are condemned to continuously keep searching for stability when the nature of existence is continuous change?
Does that mean that our search will remain unfulfilled? Does that mean that? Yes, it does mean that. But it means that we will fail only as long as we are searching for stability in the wrong place. Where are we searching for stability? We are searching for stability, as we said, in a job, in a relationship, in a bank account. We say, let me put X crores of rupees in my bank account. Let me have that much of money. And then I will experience some kind of stability.
We are searching for stability in everything outside of ourselves, right? We will not get stability there, because there only change prevails. That does not mean that stability is not to be found. That does not mean that our search is too tight. It means that we are searching in the wrong place. Stability is necessarily going to be found, but not outside, where will you find it?
Inside, in the mind. You look at that fan, I quote the fan as the most beautiful example of stability. Easy to understand. There is continuous movement; where? On the periphery, on the circumference, right? Everything is moving and continuously moving. Not for a nanosecond is the fan still. Look at that fan. Continuously moving, right? Not stable at all.
By the time you look at a blade, the blade has already shifted its position. The blade will not say, I am loyal to this position. Continuously moving. But there is something there that is not moving at all. What is that?
Questioner (Q): The center.
AP: The center is here. The center is here (pointing towards heart). That needs to be stable. In fact, the more stable is the center, the more instability can you enjoy. If the fan must have a speed, an RPM, 5 times it has currently, then its axis needs to be stronger. The stronger the axis is, the more vigorously can the fan rotate. Is that not so? Is that not so?
Now more instability can be tolerated. Not only tolerated, but enjoyed. If you are stable here (pointing towards heart), then all the change in the world will become your play thing. Then you will not cry, that oh this has changed. Oh my God, the world has changed. Then you will laugh. Wonderful that the world has changed. If you think relationships will give you stability, you are mistaken my dear. Most of us are looking for stability there. Relationships.
You will not get it there. You will be disappointed. If you are looking for stability in money, in prestige, position, jobs, again you will be disappointed. And you will end up cursing life. You will say oh I was deceived, life was not fair to me. I am a victim. Have you not seen such people? I am a victim. Only bad things happen to me. My husband has another affair. My kids, I give so much for them. And they are such traitors. All parents are cribbing like this. My children do not listen to me.
You are searching for the inner peace in the wrong place. You will not get it there. In fact, a very strange word is used. You are young people. And soon people will come and advise you to settle down. So what are your plans for settling down? What is this thing about settling down? This is the ultimate thing in security. Stability.
Now settle down. Why? Do I look unsettled right now? The man sitting in front of you never married all his life. Does he look unsettled? I am more settled, far far more settled, incomparably more settled than all your householders. They are the ones who are out of settlement. They are the ones who are just roaming around, wandering. Settlement is not about having a family and a kid. That is not what you call a stable life. There is no stability in that.
Stability is here (pointing towards chest). And family and kid and a bed and a car will not get you back. Why are you unnecessarily cheating yourself? But it is so important. Now you have an MBA as well. Why don't you settle down? Please settle down. Alright, I will see you in this year.
What do you mean by settling down? Not exactly. Please explain. Some of you must already be bugged by this word. How many of you? When will you settle down? Aunts and uncles and neighbors and chacha and taau. When will you settle down? After that, now when will your nest be complete? When will your baby come? When will the baby come? When will the baby come? Ask the baby. Or I am a factory? Baby production machine. But stupid are our ways. What do these aunties know about life?
Except producing babies. But they want you to settle down. Tell them, yes, settling down is my birthright. Settling down is my fundamental nature. But settling down does not mean settling down with a man in the bed. It means settling down here. It means that inner peace.
The bed will not give that peace. The kitchen will not give that peace. It can give some food. Or some babies. That's what comes out of households, right? Tandoori Roti and cute baby. No she doesn’t (agree)… No, not tandoori roti, Tawa roti. It is essentially a spiritual search. Man's search for stability, security, settlement. It is essentially a spiritual thing. And what is this?
Spiritual search cannot be obtained by getting something material. A husband, a wife, a money, a car, a position, a designation. It will not give it to you.
Q: Sir, you are saying that stability is not outside, it is inside. We are talking about the center. I think that when we talk in terms of spirituality or metaphysics, again it is spirituality is something that we have taken as apart from biology. If some person says, I am stable from within, no one can shake me. You give that person a special kind of drug, all that little stability will go away. If you keep that person without giving food for 15 days, that state won't be there.
AP: How do you know?
Q: Because I know how it feels to be hungry.
AP: Do you know how it feels to be stable? Hunger you know, stability do you know? So you can talk about hunger, you are qualified to talk about hunger. But if you do not know that inner stability, how can you pass a judgment on it? That if I give a drug to that man, he will do this and that. It is not a question of thinking, it is a question of knowing. You can think whatever you want to think.
It is a question of knowing directly, not thinking. Not thinking. See, spirituality is not another worldly matter. When you are saying spirituality is not distinct from biology. What is biology? This is a spiritual question. Spirituality is not some compartment. Spirituality is the foundation of everything. It is not another branch in the tree of knowledge. It is the root of the tree.
So when you say biology, even to understand biology you must be first spiritual. Otherwise, you will not know biology. What do you mean by spirituality? Some kind of ritual? Some kind of knowledge? What is spirituality? Spirituality, do you understand the word spirit? Spirit, spirit means the essence, the Truth. The essence. To know the truth is to be spiritual. To be in the truth is to be spiritual. To know biology is a spiritual thing. Knowing is spirituality.
Spirituality is not a set of practices or rites or rituals. It is not about certain commandments to be followed. It is about having your eyes open so that you can realize the truth. And spirituality therefore is only for the very very intelligent man. It is not for the chicken hearted or for the mediocre mind.
We must be able to differentiate between organized religion and spirituality. They are poles apart. Spirituality means I am not stupid. Do you remember this? This is the only statement of spirituality. I am not stupid. I am intelligence personified. That's what I am. Intelligence itself. This is spirituality. To not to be spiritual is stupid. Because stupidity by definition is not being spiritual. Spirituality means I want to know. Spirituality means knowing and realization is my nature. That is spirituality. I am not an idiot. That is spirituality.
So how will you know biology without being spiritual? How? To know anything you must first be spiritual. To know anything you must first be spiritual. Without being spiritual you will not know anything. You may have a lot of thoughts but knowing will not be there.
You may have a lot of knowledge but understanding will not be there. That is the punishment of the man who is not spiritual. He will have knowledge but no understanding. He will have a lot of thoughts but no knowing. Just remember this. Spirituality means I am not stupid. Whenever you act in intelligence that is a spiritual act. Whenever you act in realization that is a spiritual act. Simple!
