Seeking the Highest to Satisfy the Lowest Desires
Acharya Prashant: Man is such that even if he wants the company or proximity of Gods, it is for the fulfilment of his own personal objectives. So, as a man, he has certain desires. These desires he cultivates being a man, remaining a man. Then he seeks the company of the highest or the attainment of the highest, for what? For the fulfilment of these desires that he has, remaining as a man, desires that will further his continuation as a small and caged self.
Remember that he is not seeking the company of the highest, so that he may transform into the highest. He is seeking the company of the highest, so that his lowest desires can be fulfilled. The highest is just a means, a method and that is the case with all means and methods. Whether the highest is the means, whether the highest is even the end, the real end is always the gratification of the lowly self.
You might say, “It is understandable that the ego wants to misuse the highest as a method,” and then it is admissible that the highest is merely a method, a means and the end continues to be lowly. But what, when the end is Liberation, a Realization, or God attainment or dissolution of the self. Then surely, the ego is targeting something really high. Then surely, the ego is not seeking its own continuation, no. Even in the case, where the ego is seeking Truth or God realization or dissolution of the self, the ego’s internal process has to be understood.
The ego has a limited being and therefore an equally limited imagination. When the ego says that it wants Liberation, or Truth or God, it actually wants an image of its own Truth, its own God, its own version of Liberation. The ego is very fond of imagining, visualizing, it loves to visualize a target and then go after it. That’s what it has always done.
It never goes after anything; it cannot go after anything without having an idea related to that thing. It is ideas, images that tempt and drive the ego. Can you think of anything that appealed to you, attracted you, made you work without you having an idea of it? Impossible.
The ego is a thirsty thing, it is a beggar. It cannot aimlessly wander, it cannot roam about just for joy, it needs to have aim, and all aims arise from the ego’s idea of its own poverty, its own deprivation. It is from the image that the ego has of itself, that the ego manufacturers and image of what it ought to have.
The idea of future attainment comes from the idea of present deprivation. So, it is obvious that as long as the ego believes in its own existence, it cannot work without aims, ideas, targets, images and if the ego is working for its betterment, surely it believes in its battered and deprived state. Surely, the ego sees that it is not alright and therefore it wants to work to be alright.
Humble as it may sound, it also raises severe constraints on the functioning of the ego. Sounds nice that the ego is admitting its problem state, but if the ego is admitting its problem state, then it will seek a solution and the image of the solution will be coming from the problemed seeker. Therefore, the image of the solution itself will be problemed.
It’s like this, you have a problem in your eye, ‘e’ ‘y’ ‘e’ for a change. The other one (I), is obviously much more ubiquitous. And you want to reach a physician and how do you go about looking for the physician? Using your eye. That’s how the eye works, both in the ‘eye’ and the ‘I’ forms.
You are honest to the extent you want a solution. Right? You admit that you have a problem, you want a solution. But you are unwise and arrogant, when you use your problemed faculty to seek a solution for your problemed faculty.
Are you getting it?
You have a flat tire on the highway, right? You have a flat tire on the highway. The car is alright, the tire is flat and you somehow manage to get hold of someone to ask, “Where you can get the tire fixed?” And he says, “The nearest point is around fifteen kms ahead.” So, you say, “Fine, can you drop me there?” He says, “But why? It’s just fifteen kms and you have a great car?”
What’s the problem in the logic here? You are trying to use the problemed faculty to reach the place where the problem would be solved or no more. Apparently, the thing is quite straightforward. Yes, the car is wonderful and it’s just fifteen kms, should be a breeze, ten minutes. Won’t work.
This is what we all do. Mostly we do not even admit that we have a problem. If somehow, we do come to a point where we admit that we have a problem, then we want to solve a problem using the same mind which caused the problem, which is the problem and it is quite amusing to see. Well, it is actually more annoying than amusing, but fine.
You know that your thought, your resolution, your entire internal process has a problem. You admit that, at least in your moments of honesty. Then you use your problem to come to a solution. You use your broken thought process to come to a wholeness and when it doesn’t work then you are disappointed. You say, “But I tried my best.”
Don’t you know who you are, don’t you know that your best won’t suffice, and what is often the result? You are looking for an eye specialist using your purblind eyes, semi-blind eyes and God knows where you reach. And you tell that fellow, “I am prepared to sacrifice everything, nothing is more precious than a healthy eye, so here I am willing to offer and sacrifice all that I have. Kindly treat my eye,” and the fellow is smart, he actually runs a bakery.
But now that you have reached his shop and are telling him that you are my eye specialist and my eyes attest that you treat eyes very well and I am offering my entire self to you, kindly treat my eyes. He gladly offers you treatment.
Look at the world around you, this is the world at the receiving end of such treatments. Somebody is getting his eyes treated at a welder’s shop, somebody at a butcher’s, somebody at a shoe factory, somebody at a barber’s place. How do they know, they are at the right place? They believe their eye. That’s the problem with the ego, even when it sees that it cannot see, it has nobody else to trust. It’s an unenviable situation.
I know, I am flawed to the core but I just can’t trust anybody else. There is actually nobody else to be trusted and then the ego starts quoting from its experiences, says, “I trusted that one I was ditched, trusted that one I was dumped and that one, he robbed me and just somehow spared my life.” So, trust doesn’t work and the ego is right actually.
Because you are not the only one with a defective eye, the entire world is like that. What’s the point in trusting other men with little or no eyesight. So, the ego has its logic. There is nobody else to be trusted and if I trust someone, I will be deceived.
Sheltered under this logic, the ego continues its historical ways. Therefore, if you want change, something magical must happen to you. You must somehow get the company of someone who is not blind or a little less blind, you must be emboldened and encouraged to trust. Otherwise, you will continue with your broken life knowing fully well that it is broken and you will have your apology. You will say, “This is bad but this is the best I can have. Show me something better and I will gladly drop this life.” But nothing better is available. It’s not that nothing better is available, there is a possibility, there is availability. It’s just that, there is a price to be paid. Pay that price, otherwise, you remain caught in your own destructive inner cycle.
“I can’t think clearly,” “I can’t think clearly,” you start from here, “Therefore I think, I must consult Rajan, Rajan will enable me to think clearly.” What’s the problem with this logic? Yes? “I can’t think clearly therefore I think this is the moment to consult Rajan. Rajan will help me think clearly.” What’s the problem here? It is because you cannot think clearly, so you think that you must consult Rajan or go to Rajan or wed Rajan or whatever.
How can something coming from a hazy thought process, give you clarity in thought? Therefore, the Upanishads keep reiterating, “The beginning is the end, the beginning is the end.” Do not start off wrongly, the destination will be dictated by the beginning itself. Hence, begin very-very rightly.
