Expectations, and the parental love for kids || Acharya Prashant (2016)
Questioner (Q): Acharya Ji, is this possible to not expect anything from the child and let him do whatever he wants?
Acharya Prashant (AP): First of all, please see that we are not talking imaginary stuff here. Given the way we are, can we let our kids live without expectation? We expect value even from half a rupee we spend. That’s how we are. But you are saying, “If we let the child be free.” Is there anybody that we can let free?
Is there anybody we may not expect anything from? Do you know what it requires to let anybody free? Do you know what it requires to not expect anything in a relationship? You are saying this, as if it is a choice, as if you can do that remaining what you are.
So you are saying, “No, no. It is possible, I can do it. It is within my control. I just have to flip a switch, or push a button. But you know, I am not doing it.” Do you have it in you to do that, first of all? Do you have it to let the loved one fly free? Do you have it to not expect anything? Do you have it to not be greedy in a relationship? Do you have it to give, without asking for returns?
But we don’t look at that.
We say, “You see, if I do that, then it won’t be right.” The question is not about – if you do that. The question is – Can you do that? Given what you are, can you do that? But look at the misplaced confidence.
“Oh! Of course, I can do that. Of course, of course. I am not doing it because it is not right.”
“Of course, I can do this. Of course.”
Try giving even one rupee to a beggar without expecting gratitude. Try!
It’s not so much about the kid, it’s about you. If you are right, then most of these questions themselves would vanish.
Your obligation is not to expect. That is your compulsion, that is your inner compulsion. How do you like it when people demand returns from you? Do you feel loving towards them? Is this not obvious?
Someone serves you a glass of water and then serves you the bill. Do you give him – ‘I love you’- in return? And then you are using words like ‘ancient traditions’, ‘soul’, ‘masters’, ‘new humanity’. Why don’t you simply talk of a fearful mind? But that’s what our condition is, right?
Look at the whole mass of words tossed – ‘this soul’, ‘that soul’. What soul? Where soul? Just say, “I am afraid.”
Q2: Acharya Ji, is there something called ‘hidden love’, means the parents are loving, but still they are not doing the benefit of the kids?
AP: No, not at all.
You very well know what you were doing. You may name it as ‘love’, somewhere you very well know that it is all deception. And the proof of that is – that you run away when that deception is being exposed.
Had you really been confident that what you are exhibiting is Love, then you would have stood for it, then you would have confidently faced any questions about it. But you don’t face them. Whenever those questions are raised, you repress them. And that proves that you know that you are living in the false. You are afraid that the falseness might be exposed, so you avoid those occasions, those people who question your ways. You dislike them. Don’t you?
And it’s a very popular excuse, don’t fall into it. That – “You know his or her intentions are loving, it’s just that the fellow is not aware. But his intentions are good.” No way. The intentions have been named as ‘good’, they are not good.
Nothing except the Truth is good. Just because you name something as ‘love’, it does not become Love. You may tout it as ‘love’, you may sell it as ‘love’, it does not ‘become’ Love.
