Dealing with toxic partners || Acharya Prashant, Vedant Mahotsav at IISc Bangalore (2022)

Relationship

Dealing with toxic partners || Acharya Prashant, Vedant Mahotsav at IISc Bangalore (2022)

Acharya Prashant

22min

513reads

Dealing with toxic partners || Acharya Prashant, Vedant Mahotsav at IISc Bangalore (2022)

Questioner (Q): I have been listening to your videos for a week and I can see a lot of difference in my personal life. And I was fortunate enough to live in Bangalore and was able to come here. I’ve been facing problems in my personal life for the last 10 years, usually with my marital life. My wife is very aggressive, and because of that I have developed some psychological problems. So, I’m not staying with her. I want to tell her that I can’t tolerate all this, what is happening in our life, but I’m not able to tell her for the last 10 years. Some hidden fear which I’m not able to solve. So, I just wanted your guidance.

In my personal life, it is more like I don’t like confrontation in general. And I’m kind of a submissive person, actually. So, fear is there for so many years. Right from childhood. After watching your videos, I can see a lot of differences actually.

Acharya Prashant (AP): See, it is very well known that one major cause of all kinds of mental problems is the institution of marriage. The extent to which this institution contributes to neurosis is unmatched by any other cause. Why are people afraid to move on, in spite of having all kinds of humiliating and bitter experiences? For exactly the same reason most people feel compelled to get hitched.

Why are people afraid to step out of even abusive marriages? The reason is exactly the same as for those who feel compelled to get into marriages. That is the pressure to conform. That is the pressure to belong to the crowd. The fear to not to be labeled abnormal. The urge to not miss out on something that has been glamorized as extremely important and central.

Here in India, what are 90-95% of our movies about? Man, and a woman getting together in some way or the other. So, that’s what it is. Obviously, there is the biological urge embedded in the body itself. But much more than that, it is the social norm that, first of all, pushes us into this institution of marriage. And then compels us to stay there even if that institution is sapping the very life out of us.

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