Avoid Judging Intentions Behind Others' Mistakes
Questioner (Q): Namaste Sir. Sir, my question is, in neo spirituality, there is this thing taking off, back when I was in University, I learned this thing in one of the workshops. Basically, the learning that they share is, “Don’t judge the intentions behind other people’s mistakes.”
So, this brings me to the question that should we not scrutinize or audit others’ mistakes? I mean, there could be some hidden conscious or subconscious agenda lying over there. Should we not try to see why someone committed mistake accidentally or maybe consciously? So, I didn’t understand the basic meaning of this. Is it even true?
Acharya Prashant (AP): No, you have already gone too far. How do I know first of all there is a mistake? What is the definition of mistake? There is somebody in front of me, how do I know somebody has made a mistake? Judging etcetera comes later. What you mean by mistake? There is always one mistake, whether made by you or somebody else, which is to act in ignorance. What other mistake can anybody make? The fundamental mistake then is not to know the definition of the mistake. How will you judge the mistake in one, if you don’t even know what mistake really means?
Do not judge somebody wearing crimson. I told this to Shiva. He said, “Sir, I have a small problem.” “What?” “I don’t know what crimson is.” Judging etcetera comes much later, first of all, you must know what crimson is. No? The one who is mouthing this phrase, wherever it is coming from, is utterly confident that he knows that somebody has made a mistake. Does the originator of this phrase know his own mistake? He says, “Don’t judge intention behind other people’s mistakes.”
Assumption upon assumption, upon assumption, upon assumption—and that’s what happens in the absence of self-knowledge. In absence of self-knowledge, you don’t know what you are taking as the truth or as a fact is just your assumption. I am very confident he has made a mistake and then I am saying, “ Oh, you know I am so magnanimous, I don’t want to judge you.” But have you ever known your own mistakes? How will you know first of all that the fellow has made a mistake?
The only mistake is ‘ignorance’. What other mistake can be there? And there are not many mistakes. There is only one central mistake that we all make which is to act and keep looking at the object being acted on; blissfully forgetting the subject of action. Totally oblivious to who the actor is, completely obsessed with the object of action. I mean, with where I am standing, I cannot elaborate much more on this unless you have something else to ask.
Q: So, basically, the person from whom I learned this, he used to say, “For example, if your maid dropped something precious, something made of glass or something from the kitchen; so, you should not try to judge her mentality, “Why she dropped it? Or maybe it was some hidden agenda, I gave her less salary the previous month or something like that?” So, this is the kind of example I got.
AP: But it is entirely possible that she dropped it because she felt she wasn’t being paid enough, it is entirely possible. Don’t you do that? We all do that. If we all do that, why won’t the maid do that? Is spirituality some kind of enforced morality? Or is the maid specifically landing from some other universe? It is entirely possible.
Just that there is no need to act too sure of that. There are five other possibilities as well, who knows what happened. What does one do then? One inquires, one wants to learn. Be it your own case or somebody else’s, one wants to learn. Maybe she has dropped something more precious than the glass. You do want to learn about the event.
So, you inquire with the intention to come to the fact. Quick judgements are for the unthinking ones. Quick judgements are for mentally sluggish people. You don’t want to take the pains of inquiry, so what do you do? You slouch on your sofa and just judge, that saves you the whole process of inquiry. Inquiry takes time, effort, discipline, does it not? Judgement takes nothing. You hear the sound of shattering glass and say, “You know, I always knew she was a bitch.” How much effort does it take? Zero.
And it requires some diligence and some honesty to walk up to the kitchen, speak to her, look at the evidence, ask questions, reflect on yourself, do many a thing, and then let the fact slowly emerge from there. It’s not without reason that we are judgemental. Judgements are cheap and easy, they save you labour. Not that we are judgemental about just others, we are equally judgemental about ourselves.
Q: His logic was just that it will spare you the headache, you don’t have to worry.
AP: What it gives you half a dozen more shattered glasses? What if the maid is really doing it on purpose? Don’t you want to discover? Being judgemental does not mean being judgemental in an inverse way. When we say, “Somebody is judgemental,” we usually meant that the fellow has a poor opinion of others, right? What if somebody necessarily has a great opinion of others? Is that not equally bad? “No, the maid didn’t do it on purpose, she is divine.” And what does that give you? Six more broken glasses.
She is neither heinous nor divine, she is just every bit as human as I am. If I want to know myself, I will inquire. If I want to know her, I will inquire. Simple! There is no need to term somebody a devil, there is also no need to term somebody a deity. Go, find out. Why judge? All judgements are just lazy assumptions, are they not? Why judge?
